I can, however, say with certainty that SJs and I don't work together at all. While I've had SJ men who were initially intrigued by me, and attracted my unconventional way of life, they didn't respect it. Every last one of them ended up uncomfortable with and embarrassed by the very qualities that attracted them in the first place, and in one way or another each of them tried to make me "grow up," "act normal," "behave myself," or otherwise turn me into their idea of a suitable female. Plus, they tended (as a group) not to be very good in bed--reciprocity was not a strong point.
I give equal weight to sexual, emotional, and intellectual compatibility. All three have to be there. And by intellectual compatibility I don't mean the guy in question has to be an intellectual; in fact, it's better if he's not. Given the choice between an academic or other specialist-type intellectual, and someone who is clever and optimistic, with a quirky sense of humor, and who can think on his feet, I'll take the latter. And the sexual aspect is very important; if all I really wanted was someone to talk about books and ideas with, I'd have colleagues. If I'm going to bother with changing the sheets and vacuuming up the cat hair and bringing someone into my house, the sex has got to be great, and there has to be lots of it. And for the sex to be great, there has to be mutual affection and a high level of trust, so the emotional aspect is important, too.
I do very well with NFs, especially INFJs, INFPs, and ENFPs. Of the NTs, I do better with NTPs. The best relationship I've ever been in, however, was with an IXFP. I've also had a couple of good short-term (~3 months) relationships with ESTPs, both of whom are still friends.
As for how I find suitable partners--I used to have a long and exacting list in my head of the things I wanted in a partner. Nobody could possibly match up to it. So now I just look for someone who has the basics--he's cute, makes me laugh, and can take care of himself--and go from there. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it's much more fun and interesting than waiting around for someone with every ideal quality to show up.
I can, however, say with certainty that SJs and I don't work together at all. While I've had SJ men who were initially intrigued by me, and attracted my unconventional way of life, they didn't respect it. Every last one of them ended up uncomfortable with and embarrassed by the very qualities that attracted them in the first place, and in one way or another each of them tried to make me "grow up," "act normal," "behave myself," or otherwise turn me into their idea of a suitable female. Plus, they tended (as a group) not to be very good in bed--reciprocity was not a strong point.
I give equal weight to sexual, emotional, and intellectual compatibility. All three have to be there. And by intellectual compatibility I don't mean the guy in question has to be an intellectual; in fact, it's better if he's not. Given the choice between an academic or other specialist-type intellectual, and someone who is clever and optimistic, with a quirky sense of humor, and who can think on his feet, I'll take the latter. And the sexual aspect is very important; if all I really wanted was someone to talk about books and ideas with, I'd have colleagues. If I'm going to bother with changing the sheets and vacuuming up the cat hair and bringing someone into my house, the sex has got to be great, and there has to be lots of it. And for the sex to be great, there has to be mutual affection and a high level of trust, so the emotional aspect is important, too.
I do very well with NFs, especially INFJs, INFPs, and ENFPs. Of the NTs, I do better with NTPs. The best relationship I've ever been in, however, was with an IXFP. I've also had a couple of good short-term (~3 months) relationships with ESTPs, both of whom are still friends.
As for how I find suitable partners--I used to have a long and exacting list in my head of the things I wanted in a partner. Nobody could possibly match up to it. So now I just look for someone who has the basics--he's cute, makes me laugh, and can take care of himself--and go from there. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it's much more fun and interesting than waiting around for someone with every ideal quality to show up.
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