Serendipity (Jensen/Misha, R)
Title: Serendipity
Author: Vera
Pairing: Jensen/Misha
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Me no own.
Word Count: 3,610
Summary: Before he was even born, Jensen was promised to Misha. Thirty years later, Misha is ready to collect.
Author’s Note: Written for wine_into_water as part of the spn_j2_xmas gift exchange, based on her prompts/likes ‘arranged marriages’ and ‘mistaken identity’.
=> AO3 <=
“Wait, you did what?” Jensen clutched the phone in his hands, bringing it even closer to his ear, hoping he’d heard wrong.
“Well, you know how me and your mom, we thought you were gonna be a girl, right?” Jensen’s dad explained and Jensen cringed.
“Yes,” he ground out. And oh how he wished he could forget that little fact. But his older brother loved to remind him. And his own damn parents had been the worst to break out of the habit of calling him ‘Jenny’. Scarred for life, that’s what he was.
“And my good friend Mr Krushnic had a small son, so…” His dad trailed off.
“So you thought, awesome, let’s pretend it’s 1931 and we’re in India?” Jensen rubbed his temples. Why were they even talking about this?
“Well… yes?” His father hedged and Jensen could always tell when he was lying.
“So your good friend Mr Krushnic, who I’ve never heard of before today, and you thought it would be dandy to marry your kids so you’d stay close together forever?” Jensen scoffed.
“Uhm.”
“Dad.” Jensen sighed. After a minute of silence, he repeated it with more force. “Dad!”
“It was back in the 70s. I was going through a tough time and I might have had this little gambling problem.” His father admitted.
“Oh my god, dad. You paid your gambling debts with your unborn daughter’s future?” Jensen was almost amused. That would have been such great ammunition in his teenage years, if only he’d heard of it sooner.
“Misha was a cute little boy. And I never thought he’d actually make good on it.”
“Uhm, you know how I didn’t turn out to be a girl?” Jensen asked incredulously.
“Yes, but you turned out gay!” His father exclaimed cheerfully.
“Because you and mom made me!” It was Jensen’s standard response. Of course he knew they didn’t, and hey, he had no problem being gay. He just loved cock. But it certainly helped his coming out and the next three Christmas and birthday presents to guilt-trip his parents. It was their own fault for calling him Jenny until he turned fourteen.
“I know we did, Jenny. And we feel real guilty about it.” His father was smirking on the other end, Jensen just knew it.
“Oh, screw you. I still don’t see how that’s relevant to any of this.” Jensen walked over to the kitchen to get out a beer.
“Well guess what? Misha is gay as well!” Jensen’s father was suspiciously cheerful again. “Isn’t that a sign of fate?”
“So, wait…” Jensen had to sit down. “You’re saying that Mr Krushnic still wants me to marry his son?”
“You’re single, aren’t you? Who knows. It might all work out great for you.” Jensen’s father insisted.
“You’re joking, right?” Jensen pressed the cool bottle against his now throbbing temples.
“Do you want to die alone?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jensen stood up again. “We can’t seriously be having this conversation. This is a really bad dream, isn’t it? Man, did Jay slip some shrooms under the pasta again?”
“Jensen, you… wait, what do you mean, again?” His father’s tone changed into accusatory.
“You sold me to a Russian crime lord.” Jensen banged his head against the fridge, then he opened it to stick his head inside.
“Hey now. Mr Krushnic was a decent man or I’d have never agreed.” His father scolded. “Also, I’m pretty sure they’re American. His son’s called Collins.”
“What? He changed his surname to hide his ties to the Russian mob?” Jensen put the unopened beer back inside and reached for the vodka instead. Somehow it felt appropriate.
“Jensen Ross Ackles. I did not raise you like this.”
“No, you raised me to marry Misha Collins.” Jensen opened his mouth and let out a silent scream. Seriously. Shrooms. Had to be. Jay was dead.
“Just meet him, Jensen. If you two don’t get along, I’m sure we can all agree to call this off.” His father suggested.
“You plan to go through with this? Can’t you just pay him off now?” Jensen mentally counted his own meager savings. Maybe he could help?
“Jensen, once you make an agreement like that, you have to honor it. It’s the right thing to do.” His father lectured.
“So he refused to take the cash?” Jensen guessed.
“… Yes,” his father admitted. “Misha is going to be waiting for you at Luigi’s tomorrow. You should wear a white rose.”
“Tomorrow? He expects to meet me tomorrow?” Jensen was close to hyperventilating now.
“No time like the present, right, son?” His father laid on the fake cheer again.
Jensen sighed. There wasn’t actually any way around this, was there? He just had to leave the worst first impression ever. With his track record in dating, this might not even be too hard. Besides, he’d score a free steak at his favourite Italian restaurant out of it. Misha would surely pay, wouldn’t he? “Alright, I’ll go.”
“You will?” His father was surprised. “Jensen, you have no idea how much…”
“Yeah, yeah. Save it for March 1st, dad.” And maybe he could use this for his dad’s birthday. Instead of actually getting him a gift, he could just write a card that says ‘remember how I paid off your gambling debts… with my body?’ Oh yeah, his father’s face would be worth it.
“Really, son…” His father made a dramatic pause. “Don’t forget to wear the white rose so he’ll know who you are.”
“He doesn’t know what I look like?” Jensen frowned.
“No, his father said it was better this way. More traditional. If you must meet before the wedding, at least still have that magical moment. Or something.”
“And Misha will be wearing…?”
“A red rose.”
“Of course he will.” Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose.
“7 pm. Luigi’s. I won’t forget this, son. I’ll owe you.”
’Damn straight you do, Jensen thought. “If you don’t hear from me by 10 pm, call the cops.”
“And what if your date just went extremely well? You want them to break in the door and find you on the couch, making out?”
“Jesus, dad. I’m serious.” Jensen finally managed to unscrew the vodka bottle while trapping the phone between his head and shoulder.
“Whatever. Have fun, Jenny.”
His dad had disconnected just before Jensen could explode again.
Two hours later, after his roommate, best friend, and brief former boyfriend had returned and finally finished laughing, Jensen leaned into him on the couch, mellowed out thanks to the only Russian he’d ever even consider marrying, if that were legal in any state. “’M serious, Jare. How the fuck am I supposed to go through with this tomorrow?”
“What?” Jared asked, prying the bottle out of Jensen’s hands and taking a swig himself. “You need my advise on how to have a bad date? It didn’t work out between us, Jensen. I don’t think you need to worry.”
“Fuck you,” Jensen pouted, snatching the bottle back. “Was your fault just the same.” He poked him in the chest.
Jared chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. Too bad for you though, or you might be already married by now.”
“You’da married me, Jay?” Jensen blinked at him, hugging the bottle close.
“Fuck no,” Jared’s eyes widened. “I miss the good old times when being gay meant I didn’t need to have this discussion.” He shuddered.
“Your heart is cold.” Jensen accused him. “’S why we could’ve never worked.”
“Also, despite your girlishness, you’re a crappy bottom.” Jared blew him a kiss.
“No, you are.” Jensen poked him again before taking another long swig.
“And that’s why I wouldn’t marry you, Ackles. We’d forever be throwing a coin. And one of these days, you’d find out that I cheat.” Jared winked.
“Wait, what? You have a magical coin?” Jensen gasped. Goddamn! That explained his extreme streak of bad luck. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” Jared ruffled his hair.
“Fuck off,” Jensen shoved his hand away. “Hey, wait. You owe me. You owe me big time, me and my ass.”
Jared laughed again. “You’re cute when you’re drunk.”
“Am not. You drink more.” Jensen thrust the bottle at his best friend. “And you still owe me.”
“Alright, I do.” Jared shrugged, drinking. “Add it to my list.”
Jensen was pointing his finger at him, opening and closing his mouth a few times before the words would form properly, he was so excited. “No. Collect now. You go.”
“What? Are we out of booze? You need me to get you more? Should I get you some double choc ice cream as well?” Jared was still amused by him but Jensen couldn’t get angry right now.
“The date. You go on the date.” Jensen’s eyes lit up. Perfect solution to everything.
“Wait, what? No.” Jared held up his hands.
“Yes.” Jensen nodded. “You know how hard it is for me to say no. You go. You can be intentionally mean. You’ll do a great job.” Why hadn’t he thought of this before? This was genius!
“Yeah. No.”
One hour, the vodka bottle and a six-pack later and Jared had agreed. Which was why the next day, Jensen was happily relaxing on the couch, re-watching Grosse Pointe Blank with a bag of nachos and some beer, when suddenly, his doorbell rang. He frowned, checking his watch. 6 pm. He went to open the door, only to find a dark-haired stranger carrying a bouquet of flowers.
“Danneel lives at the end of the hall,” Jensen informed him in greeting.
“Who? What?” The stranger frowned, looking at a piece of paper crumbled in his hand. “I’m looking for Jensen Ackles.”
“I…” Something made him stop. “That’s my roommate.”
“Oh,” the guy nodded. “I wanted to pick him up for our date.”
“You’re Misha?” Jensen couldn’t help checking him out. Damn. He was lucky he send Jared. Jared would be able to stay on track. Jensen however would have been reduced to a mumbling fool if he were to have dinner with this guy.
“Yes.” Misha confirmed. “May I come inside?”
“Jensen’s waiting for you at the restaurant.” Jensen checked his watch again. “In an hour.” He frowned.
“And he’s gone already?” Misha’s face fell a little.
“He’s going there from work.” Jensen scratched his eyebrow, feeling slightly overwhelmed with the situation at hand. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? And why did he just make the mistake to try and figure out Misha’s eye color? Now he was lost in blue.
“I thought he was in between internships right now?” Misha frowned.
“Uhm, yes, but…” Jensen stopped staring. “You seem to know a lot about Jensen, yet Jensen hasn’t told me anything about you but your name.”
“Oh. My father told me what his father… hey, can I still come in, maybe?” Misha interrupted himself. “At least put those flowers to water before they die?”
“Uh, sure.” Jensen stepped aside, letting Misha come in. And regretting it a second later. Misha knew where he lived and what he was doing. He was letting a possibly psychotic stalker into his home. “So how’d you know where I… where Jensen lives?”
“Google.” Misha shrugged.
Jensen sucked in a sharp breath. “So you’ve seen pictures as well?”
“No, that’s the weird thing. He doesn’t seem to have a Facebook profile and none of his friends have tagged him either,” Misha explained and Jensen has never been so happy he chose to sign up under ‘Ross Jackles’ to avoid having his possible future employers find him. And okay, mostly to avoid having one night stands find him. “But it’s for the best. If my father knew I’d checked him out before, he’d be very disappointed.”
Jensen snorted. “Spoiled the magical moment?”
“Yes!” Misha looked at him in surprise. “How’d you know?”
“Uhm, Jensen told me.” Jensen bit his lip. “I’m his roommate, Jared.”
“Nice to meet you, Jared.” Misha smiled, then he held out the bouquet. “Water?”
“Yes. Right.” Jensen took the flowers and reached for their margarita pitcher to hold them. “Jensen would tell you that you shouldn’t have, though.” He was not a girl, thank you very much.
“Oh, yes.” Misha didn’t seem offended. “It’s a traditional wedding gift. White lilies to symbolize my innocence.”
Jensen almost dropped the pitcher.
Misha laughed. “Well, okay, I admit that ship has sailed for me a long time ago. I thought I’d be done with this stuff when I realized I was gay. I mean, no virgin to marry, no reason to be good myself, right?”
Jensen almost swallowed his tongue when he thought of himself as the ‘virgin to marry’ in question. This was so screwed up.
“That’s why I also brought this, to start a new tradition.” Misha opened his jacket and produced a bottle of Petron. “Tequila to symbolize sins of the past and to wash them clean with.” He put down the bottle, looking at Jensen hopefully. “You think that works?”
Jensen had to laugh. “Works for me.”
Misha grinned and Jensen spotted the red rose stuck to the breast pocket of his button down shirt. He’d have been so screwed. “You want to wait here until it’s time to go to the restaurant?” Jensen offered before he could help himself.
“Please.” Misha accepted happily. “You can tell me more about my fiancée.”
Jensen bit his cheek. “Jensen didn’t tell me you proposed and he said yes.”
“No, our parents did that for us.” Misha fiddled with his rose.
“And you’re okay with this?” Jensen raised his eyebrow.
“Yes.” Misha nodded, smiling again, until it faltered and he hung his head. “Well, okay. No. I wasn’t, at first. I mean, this was supposed to happen as soon as Jensen turned sixteen.”
Jensen choked and ended up coughing so hard, Misha clapped his back.
“You okay?” Misha asked and Jensen wheezed, but nodded, waving his hand to tell him to continue. Misha took his cue. “But well, I was twenty. And gay. I wasn’t interested in some sixteen year old straight kid.”
”Not to mention it would have been slightly illegal.” Jensen thought back to his awkward teens and wondered if Misha had already been this cute when he was twenty. Actually, he probably wouldn’t have minded having a 20-year-old to teach him stuff. Way better than awkward hand jobs from Christian in the locker room. Then again, yeah, no. In the context of things, it would have just been creepy.
Misha cringed. “Yeah. But fourteen years later I’m just about desperate enough to give this a try. I mean, Jensen’s gay. What are the odds?”
“For an arranged marriage where one of the parties turns out to not be a girl after all and then both of them are gay? These days?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, right? So hey. Serendipity.” Misha raises his arms. “That means…”
“I know what it means.” Jensen flushed. And man, he really wished it wasn’t such a turn on for him that Misha knew the word. “Alright. Sit. Bring the Tequila.” Jensen motioned towards his living room where his movie was still paused.
“Hey! I love John Cusack!” Misha exclaimed. And Jensen was hopelessly fucked.
He put down two glasses and Misha opened the bottle. “So your love life sucks?”
“Yes. And no. And yes,” Misha wiggled his eyebrows.
Jensen snorted, rolling his eyes. “I think I know what you mean. It’s not like you don’t get any, it’s just that nobody seems to stick around long enough to make your parents happy.”
“Yes!” Misha blinked, pouring the shots. “How’d you know.”
”Been there, done that.” ’Came out with an arranged marriage just as well.’ Jensen shook his head. Shit, this was uncanny. He raised his glass, clinking with Misha, before they both downed the liquid. He grinned. Damn, this was the good stuff.
“And Jensen?” Misha asked, breaking the spell. “How’s he doing in the love department?”
Jensen opened his mouth, then he closed it again. This was about screwing it up, he had to remember this. ‘He’ had to look as bad as possible, so Misha called this off. He should help along so Jared only had to finish him off. “He’s doing pretty well. Different guy almost every night and he doesn’t even remember their names most of the time. But he’s fine with it. He likes it casual. I think having a steady boyfriend would be the death of him. Don’t tell him I said that, but I’m pretty sure he’d cheat every chance he gets. He chases the thrill.”
“Oh,” Misha bit his lip. “You don’t think he’d settle for me?”
‘Yes, I just might.’ Jensen clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into the palm of his hand. “Sorry to just take your illusions like that, but no.”
Misha sighed. “Figures. Would have been too much to ask for, would it, universe?” He looked up at the ceiling, shaking his fist, before he poured them both another shot.
Jensen chuckled. God, Misha was cute. This was fucking him up so much. And that’s just why Jared had to be the bad guy. “So, John Cusack,” Jensen switched the topic, picking up the remote and restarting the movie.
And he will never fully comprehend how one thing led to the next and he mostly blamed it on the tequila, but when Jared entered the apartment some time later, Misha was sitting in Jensen’s lap, his shirt unbuttoned and Jensen was just about to free his aching cock.
“Jen, you’ll never believe it, but…” Jared trailed off.
“Ja…ensen!” Jensen blushed a deep crimson. “Uhm, hey. You’re back.”
“Yes.” Jared took in the scene in front of him. “I guess you already know that I just got stood up?”
Misha clambered off of Jensen’s lap. “Jensen?” He asked, panic in his voice. He wiped his hand over his kiss-swollen lips, then looked down at Jensen and then back at Jared again, who he thought was Jensen.
And Jensen was getting his tequila headache early this time.
Misha cleared his throat. “Jensen. Listen, I’m really sorry we had to meet like this. This is not how I planned this, believe me. But I’m sorry to say this, but the wedding is off.”
“What?” Jared looked at Jensen for guidance.
“It is?” Jensen asked, looking back at Misha.
“I’m sorry, but from what I heard, you were never too happy with it to begin with?” Misha asked tentatively.
“Uhm, no.” Jared replied, crossing his arms in front of him.
“So, I hope it’s not too blunt of me to ask, but I have to. Would you be terribly upset if I started dating your roommate Jared instead?” Misha gave them both a small smile and Jensen’s heart leaped in his chest.
“You know what? I’m out of here.” Jared threw up his arms. “He’s all yours.” He pointed at Jensen before turning around and leaving the apartment again.
“Jared?” Misha asked, face hopeful and about to come back to the couch again.
“Wait.” Jensen rubbed his hands over his face. The quicker he did this, the faster it was over, right? Like ripping off a band aid? He just hoped this one wouldn’t leave such a sting. “Remember earlier when I asked you to please not call me Jared?”
“Sure do, baby.” Misha winked.
“There’s actually a reason for that.” Jensen bit his lip.
“Other than your love for pet names, snuggles?” Misha stalked closer, big grin on his face.
And Jensen wished that had been part of the ruse, but he secretly relished the pet names, yes. He blamed his damn parents. Maybe he really should have been a girl. “What if I told you my name wasn’t Jared?”
“I don’t care,” Misha shrugged. “I took on my mother’s maiden name.”
Jensen held out his arm to stop him from coming any closer. “What if my name was Jensen?”
“You have the same name as your roomma…” Misha trailed off, then he stopped dead in his tracks. “Jensen?” He gestured between the two of them.
Jensen sighed and nodded, closing his eyes to avoid the scene.
But instead of yelling, Misha started laughing. Then things got even stranger when he turned towards Jensen’s DVD bookcase, only to pull one out and throw it at Jensen. Jensen’s first instinct was to duck, but after the one copy, none followed, so he looked up again, noticing the DVD cover.
He picked it up and smirked. “Serendipity.”
“Thank you, universe. Thank you, John Cusack.” Misha looked up at the ceiling, then he bowed down. Jensen smiled. Misha was one of a kind, wasn’t he? But maybe that was just what he needed.
“You wanna watch it next?” he offered.
“Sure.” Misha nodded. “Next time we make it out of your bedroom.” He picked up the Patron.
“That’s right.” Jensen tapped the case against his forehead, as if deep in thought. “It was the first time we saw each other. I believe a wedding night is to follow next?”
“Now you’re talking.” Misha nodded. “Can’t deny the rituals.”
“I have to honor my father’s agreement.” Jensen stood up, leading the way towards his room. Jensen had to remember to call his dad later and tell him all about how he honoured his agreement. In great detail. After all, this might have turned out extremely well for Jensen, but his father still had to pay for years of verbal abuse.
They just shouldn’t have called him Jenny.
Misha never did. Not once. And they never had to throw a coin either, even if Jared, the bastard, gave them one as a wedding gift.
Author: Vera
Pairing: Jensen/Misha
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Me no own.
Word Count: 3,610
Summary: Before he was even born, Jensen was promised to Misha. Thirty years later, Misha is ready to collect.
Author’s Note: Written for wine_into_water as part of the spn_j2_xmas gift exchange, based on her prompts/likes ‘arranged marriages’ and ‘mistaken identity’.
=> AO3 <=
“Wait, you did what?” Jensen clutched the phone in his hands, bringing it even closer to his ear, hoping he’d heard wrong.
“Well, you know how me and your mom, we thought you were gonna be a girl, right?” Jensen’s dad explained and Jensen cringed.
“Yes,” he ground out. And oh how he wished he could forget that little fact. But his older brother loved to remind him. And his own damn parents had been the worst to break out of the habit of calling him ‘Jenny’. Scarred for life, that’s what he was.
“And my good friend Mr Krushnic had a small son, so…” His dad trailed off.
“So you thought, awesome, let’s pretend it’s 1931 and we’re in India?” Jensen rubbed his temples. Why were they even talking about this?
“Well… yes?” His father hedged and Jensen could always tell when he was lying.
“So your good friend Mr Krushnic, who I’ve never heard of before today, and you thought it would be dandy to marry your kids so you’d stay close together forever?” Jensen scoffed.
“Uhm.”
“Dad.” Jensen sighed. After a minute of silence, he repeated it with more force. “Dad!”
“It was back in the 70s. I was going through a tough time and I might have had this little gambling problem.” His father admitted.
“Oh my god, dad. You paid your gambling debts with your unborn daughter’s future?” Jensen was almost amused. That would have been such great ammunition in his teenage years, if only he’d heard of it sooner.
“Misha was a cute little boy. And I never thought he’d actually make good on it.”
“Uhm, you know how I didn’t turn out to be a girl?” Jensen asked incredulously.
“Yes, but you turned out gay!” His father exclaimed cheerfully.
“Because you and mom made me!” It was Jensen’s standard response. Of course he knew they didn’t, and hey, he had no problem being gay. He just loved cock. But it certainly helped his coming out and the next three Christmas and birthday presents to guilt-trip his parents. It was their own fault for calling him Jenny until he turned fourteen.
“I know we did, Jenny. And we feel real guilty about it.” His father was smirking on the other end, Jensen just knew it.
“Oh, screw you. I still don’t see how that’s relevant to any of this.” Jensen walked over to the kitchen to get out a beer.
“Well guess what? Misha is gay as well!” Jensen’s father was suspiciously cheerful again. “Isn’t that a sign of fate?”
“So, wait…” Jensen had to sit down. “You’re saying that Mr Krushnic still wants me to marry his son?”
“You’re single, aren’t you? Who knows. It might all work out great for you.” Jensen’s father insisted.
“You’re joking, right?” Jensen pressed the cool bottle against his now throbbing temples.
“Do you want to die alone?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jensen stood up again. “We can’t seriously be having this conversation. This is a really bad dream, isn’t it? Man, did Jay slip some shrooms under the pasta again?”
“Jensen, you… wait, what do you mean, again?” His father’s tone changed into accusatory.
“You sold me to a Russian crime lord.” Jensen banged his head against the fridge, then he opened it to stick his head inside.
“Hey now. Mr Krushnic was a decent man or I’d have never agreed.” His father scolded. “Also, I’m pretty sure they’re American. His son’s called Collins.”
“What? He changed his surname to hide his ties to the Russian mob?” Jensen put the unopened beer back inside and reached for the vodka instead. Somehow it felt appropriate.
“Jensen Ross Ackles. I did not raise you like this.”
“No, you raised me to marry Misha Collins.” Jensen opened his mouth and let out a silent scream. Seriously. Shrooms. Had to be. Jay was dead.
“Just meet him, Jensen. If you two don’t get along, I’m sure we can all agree to call this off.” His father suggested.
“You plan to go through with this? Can’t you just pay him off now?” Jensen mentally counted his own meager savings. Maybe he could help?
“Jensen, once you make an agreement like that, you have to honor it. It’s the right thing to do.” His father lectured.
“So he refused to take the cash?” Jensen guessed.
“… Yes,” his father admitted. “Misha is going to be waiting for you at Luigi’s tomorrow. You should wear a white rose.”
“Tomorrow? He expects to meet me tomorrow?” Jensen was close to hyperventilating now.
“No time like the present, right, son?” His father laid on the fake cheer again.
Jensen sighed. There wasn’t actually any way around this, was there? He just had to leave the worst first impression ever. With his track record in dating, this might not even be too hard. Besides, he’d score a free steak at his favourite Italian restaurant out of it. Misha would surely pay, wouldn’t he? “Alright, I’ll go.”
“You will?” His father was surprised. “Jensen, you have no idea how much…”
“Yeah, yeah. Save it for March 1st, dad.” And maybe he could use this for his dad’s birthday. Instead of actually getting him a gift, he could just write a card that says ‘remember how I paid off your gambling debts… with my body?’ Oh yeah, his father’s face would be worth it.
“Really, son…” His father made a dramatic pause. “Don’t forget to wear the white rose so he’ll know who you are.”
“He doesn’t know what I look like?” Jensen frowned.
“No, his father said it was better this way. More traditional. If you must meet before the wedding, at least still have that magical moment. Or something.”
“And Misha will be wearing…?”
“A red rose.”
“Of course he will.” Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose.
“7 pm. Luigi’s. I won’t forget this, son. I’ll owe you.”
’Damn straight you do, Jensen thought. “If you don’t hear from me by 10 pm, call the cops.”
“And what if your date just went extremely well? You want them to break in the door and find you on the couch, making out?”
“Jesus, dad. I’m serious.” Jensen finally managed to unscrew the vodka bottle while trapping the phone between his head and shoulder.
“Whatever. Have fun, Jenny.”
His dad had disconnected just before Jensen could explode again.
Two hours later, after his roommate, best friend, and brief former boyfriend had returned and finally finished laughing, Jensen leaned into him on the couch, mellowed out thanks to the only Russian he’d ever even consider marrying, if that were legal in any state. “’M serious, Jare. How the fuck am I supposed to go through with this tomorrow?”
“What?” Jared asked, prying the bottle out of Jensen’s hands and taking a swig himself. “You need my advise on how to have a bad date? It didn’t work out between us, Jensen. I don’t think you need to worry.”
“Fuck you,” Jensen pouted, snatching the bottle back. “Was your fault just the same.” He poked him in the chest.
Jared chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. Too bad for you though, or you might be already married by now.”
“You’da married me, Jay?” Jensen blinked at him, hugging the bottle close.
“Fuck no,” Jared’s eyes widened. “I miss the good old times when being gay meant I didn’t need to have this discussion.” He shuddered.
“Your heart is cold.” Jensen accused him. “’S why we could’ve never worked.”
“Also, despite your girlishness, you’re a crappy bottom.” Jared blew him a kiss.
“No, you are.” Jensen poked him again before taking another long swig.
“And that’s why I wouldn’t marry you, Ackles. We’d forever be throwing a coin. And one of these days, you’d find out that I cheat.” Jared winked.
“Wait, what? You have a magical coin?” Jensen gasped. Goddamn! That explained his extreme streak of bad luck. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” Jared ruffled his hair.
“Fuck off,” Jensen shoved his hand away. “Hey, wait. You owe me. You owe me big time, me and my ass.”
Jared laughed again. “You’re cute when you’re drunk.”
“Am not. You drink more.” Jensen thrust the bottle at his best friend. “And you still owe me.”
“Alright, I do.” Jared shrugged, drinking. “Add it to my list.”
Jensen was pointing his finger at him, opening and closing his mouth a few times before the words would form properly, he was so excited. “No. Collect now. You go.”
“What? Are we out of booze? You need me to get you more? Should I get you some double choc ice cream as well?” Jared was still amused by him but Jensen couldn’t get angry right now.
“The date. You go on the date.” Jensen’s eyes lit up. Perfect solution to everything.
“Wait, what? No.” Jared held up his hands.
“Yes.” Jensen nodded. “You know how hard it is for me to say no. You go. You can be intentionally mean. You’ll do a great job.” Why hadn’t he thought of this before? This was genius!
“Yeah. No.”
One hour, the vodka bottle and a six-pack later and Jared had agreed. Which was why the next day, Jensen was happily relaxing on the couch, re-watching Grosse Pointe Blank with a bag of nachos and some beer, when suddenly, his doorbell rang. He frowned, checking his watch. 6 pm. He went to open the door, only to find a dark-haired stranger carrying a bouquet of flowers.
“Danneel lives at the end of the hall,” Jensen informed him in greeting.
“Who? What?” The stranger frowned, looking at a piece of paper crumbled in his hand. “I’m looking for Jensen Ackles.”
“I…” Something made him stop. “That’s my roommate.”
“Oh,” the guy nodded. “I wanted to pick him up for our date.”
“You’re Misha?” Jensen couldn’t help checking him out. Damn. He was lucky he send Jared. Jared would be able to stay on track. Jensen however would have been reduced to a mumbling fool if he were to have dinner with this guy.
“Yes.” Misha confirmed. “May I come inside?”
“Jensen’s waiting for you at the restaurant.” Jensen checked his watch again. “In an hour.” He frowned.
“And he’s gone already?” Misha’s face fell a little.
“He’s going there from work.” Jensen scratched his eyebrow, feeling slightly overwhelmed with the situation at hand. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? And why did he just make the mistake to try and figure out Misha’s eye color? Now he was lost in blue.
“I thought he was in between internships right now?” Misha frowned.
“Uhm, yes, but…” Jensen stopped staring. “You seem to know a lot about Jensen, yet Jensen hasn’t told me anything about you but your name.”
“Oh. My father told me what his father… hey, can I still come in, maybe?” Misha interrupted himself. “At least put those flowers to water before they die?”
“Uh, sure.” Jensen stepped aside, letting Misha come in. And regretting it a second later. Misha knew where he lived and what he was doing. He was letting a possibly psychotic stalker into his home. “So how’d you know where I… where Jensen lives?”
“Google.” Misha shrugged.
Jensen sucked in a sharp breath. “So you’ve seen pictures as well?”
“No, that’s the weird thing. He doesn’t seem to have a Facebook profile and none of his friends have tagged him either,” Misha explained and Jensen has never been so happy he chose to sign up under ‘Ross Jackles’ to avoid having his possible future employers find him. And okay, mostly to avoid having one night stands find him. “But it’s for the best. If my father knew I’d checked him out before, he’d be very disappointed.”
Jensen snorted. “Spoiled the magical moment?”
“Yes!” Misha looked at him in surprise. “How’d you know?”
“Uhm, Jensen told me.” Jensen bit his lip. “I’m his roommate, Jared.”
“Nice to meet you, Jared.” Misha smiled, then he held out the bouquet. “Water?”
“Yes. Right.” Jensen took the flowers and reached for their margarita pitcher to hold them. “Jensen would tell you that you shouldn’t have, though.” He was not a girl, thank you very much.
“Oh, yes.” Misha didn’t seem offended. “It’s a traditional wedding gift. White lilies to symbolize my innocence.”
Jensen almost dropped the pitcher.
Misha laughed. “Well, okay, I admit that ship has sailed for me a long time ago. I thought I’d be done with this stuff when I realized I was gay. I mean, no virgin to marry, no reason to be good myself, right?”
Jensen almost swallowed his tongue when he thought of himself as the ‘virgin to marry’ in question. This was so screwed up.
“That’s why I also brought this, to start a new tradition.” Misha opened his jacket and produced a bottle of Petron. “Tequila to symbolize sins of the past and to wash them clean with.” He put down the bottle, looking at Jensen hopefully. “You think that works?”
Jensen had to laugh. “Works for me.”
Misha grinned and Jensen spotted the red rose stuck to the breast pocket of his button down shirt. He’d have been so screwed. “You want to wait here until it’s time to go to the restaurant?” Jensen offered before he could help himself.
“Please.” Misha accepted happily. “You can tell me more about my fiancée.”
Jensen bit his cheek. “Jensen didn’t tell me you proposed and he said yes.”
“No, our parents did that for us.” Misha fiddled with his rose.
“And you’re okay with this?” Jensen raised his eyebrow.
“Yes.” Misha nodded, smiling again, until it faltered and he hung his head. “Well, okay. No. I wasn’t, at first. I mean, this was supposed to happen as soon as Jensen turned sixteen.”
Jensen choked and ended up coughing so hard, Misha clapped his back.
“You okay?” Misha asked and Jensen wheezed, but nodded, waving his hand to tell him to continue. Misha took his cue. “But well, I was twenty. And gay. I wasn’t interested in some sixteen year old straight kid.”
”Not to mention it would have been slightly illegal.” Jensen thought back to his awkward teens and wondered if Misha had already been this cute when he was twenty. Actually, he probably wouldn’t have minded having a 20-year-old to teach him stuff. Way better than awkward hand jobs from Christian in the locker room. Then again, yeah, no. In the context of things, it would have just been creepy.
Misha cringed. “Yeah. But fourteen years later I’m just about desperate enough to give this a try. I mean, Jensen’s gay. What are the odds?”
“For an arranged marriage where one of the parties turns out to not be a girl after all and then both of them are gay? These days?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, right? So hey. Serendipity.” Misha raises his arms. “That means…”
“I know what it means.” Jensen flushed. And man, he really wished it wasn’t such a turn on for him that Misha knew the word. “Alright. Sit. Bring the Tequila.” Jensen motioned towards his living room where his movie was still paused.
“Hey! I love John Cusack!” Misha exclaimed. And Jensen was hopelessly fucked.
He put down two glasses and Misha opened the bottle. “So your love life sucks?”
“Yes. And no. And yes,” Misha wiggled his eyebrows.
Jensen snorted, rolling his eyes. “I think I know what you mean. It’s not like you don’t get any, it’s just that nobody seems to stick around long enough to make your parents happy.”
“Yes!” Misha blinked, pouring the shots. “How’d you know.”
”Been there, done that.” ’Came out with an arranged marriage just as well.’ Jensen shook his head. Shit, this was uncanny. He raised his glass, clinking with Misha, before they both downed the liquid. He grinned. Damn, this was the good stuff.
“And Jensen?” Misha asked, breaking the spell. “How’s he doing in the love department?”
Jensen opened his mouth, then he closed it again. This was about screwing it up, he had to remember this. ‘He’ had to look as bad as possible, so Misha called this off. He should help along so Jared only had to finish him off. “He’s doing pretty well. Different guy almost every night and he doesn’t even remember their names most of the time. But he’s fine with it. He likes it casual. I think having a steady boyfriend would be the death of him. Don’t tell him I said that, but I’m pretty sure he’d cheat every chance he gets. He chases the thrill.”
“Oh,” Misha bit his lip. “You don’t think he’d settle for me?”
‘Yes, I just might.’ Jensen clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into the palm of his hand. “Sorry to just take your illusions like that, but no.”
Misha sighed. “Figures. Would have been too much to ask for, would it, universe?” He looked up at the ceiling, shaking his fist, before he poured them both another shot.
Jensen chuckled. God, Misha was cute. This was fucking him up so much. And that’s just why Jared had to be the bad guy. “So, John Cusack,” Jensen switched the topic, picking up the remote and restarting the movie.
And he will never fully comprehend how one thing led to the next and he mostly blamed it on the tequila, but when Jared entered the apartment some time later, Misha was sitting in Jensen’s lap, his shirt unbuttoned and Jensen was just about to free his aching cock.
“Jen, you’ll never believe it, but…” Jared trailed off.
“Ja…ensen!” Jensen blushed a deep crimson. “Uhm, hey. You’re back.”
“Yes.” Jared took in the scene in front of him. “I guess you already know that I just got stood up?”
Misha clambered off of Jensen’s lap. “Jensen?” He asked, panic in his voice. He wiped his hand over his kiss-swollen lips, then looked down at Jensen and then back at Jared again, who he thought was Jensen.
And Jensen was getting his tequila headache early this time.
Misha cleared his throat. “Jensen. Listen, I’m really sorry we had to meet like this. This is not how I planned this, believe me. But I’m sorry to say this, but the wedding is off.”
“What?” Jared looked at Jensen for guidance.
“It is?” Jensen asked, looking back at Misha.
“I’m sorry, but from what I heard, you were never too happy with it to begin with?” Misha asked tentatively.
“Uhm, no.” Jared replied, crossing his arms in front of him.
“So, I hope it’s not too blunt of me to ask, but I have to. Would you be terribly upset if I started dating your roommate Jared instead?” Misha gave them both a small smile and Jensen’s heart leaped in his chest.
“You know what? I’m out of here.” Jared threw up his arms. “He’s all yours.” He pointed at Jensen before turning around and leaving the apartment again.
“Jared?” Misha asked, face hopeful and about to come back to the couch again.
“Wait.” Jensen rubbed his hands over his face. The quicker he did this, the faster it was over, right? Like ripping off a band aid? He just hoped this one wouldn’t leave such a sting. “Remember earlier when I asked you to please not call me Jared?”
“Sure do, baby.” Misha winked.
“There’s actually a reason for that.” Jensen bit his lip.
“Other than your love for pet names, snuggles?” Misha stalked closer, big grin on his face.
And Jensen wished that had been part of the ruse, but he secretly relished the pet names, yes. He blamed his damn parents. Maybe he really should have been a girl. “What if I told you my name wasn’t Jared?”
“I don’t care,” Misha shrugged. “I took on my mother’s maiden name.”
Jensen held out his arm to stop him from coming any closer. “What if my name was Jensen?”
“You have the same name as your roomma…” Misha trailed off, then he stopped dead in his tracks. “Jensen?” He gestured between the two of them.
Jensen sighed and nodded, closing his eyes to avoid the scene.
But instead of yelling, Misha started laughing. Then things got even stranger when he turned towards Jensen’s DVD bookcase, only to pull one out and throw it at Jensen. Jensen’s first instinct was to duck, but after the one copy, none followed, so he looked up again, noticing the DVD cover.
He picked it up and smirked. “Serendipity.”
“Thank you, universe. Thank you, John Cusack.” Misha looked up at the ceiling, then he bowed down. Jensen smiled. Misha was one of a kind, wasn’t he? But maybe that was just what he needed.
“You wanna watch it next?” he offered.
“Sure.” Misha nodded. “Next time we make it out of your bedroom.” He picked up the Patron.
“That’s right.” Jensen tapped the case against his forehead, as if deep in thought. “It was the first time we saw each other. I believe a wedding night is to follow next?”
“Now you’re talking.” Misha nodded. “Can’t deny the rituals.”
“I have to honor my father’s agreement.” Jensen stood up, leading the way towards his room. Jensen had to remember to call his dad later and tell him all about how he honoured his agreement. In great detail. After all, this might have turned out extremely well for Jensen, but his father still had to pay for years of verbal abuse.
They just shouldn’t have called him Jenny.
Misha never did. Not once. And they never had to throw a coin either, even if Jared, the bastard, gave them one as a wedding gift.