When a Nora really just snaps

[ratherthannora]

So today I was all gung ho about going into work, excited about seeing some new little kids (being a sub in a headstart site means meeting hundreds of kids around the county, all infallibly cute) and working in northampton today, which I love!  But there was only one actual teacher (who by the by is incompetent and unskilled and whiney and negligent) and two subs including myself, with seventeen out of control non-listening children.  This bitch did not do ANYTHING useful, I ended up taking control of several chaotic situations and preparing all the food and doing all the cleaning and stuff and then she had the gaul to put me with the most difficult child during naptime.  By most difficult I mean a child who called me a fucker/motherfucker in between disturbingly loud screams and attempts to punch me- I was forced to restrain the kid (which no sub should ever do in any situation) and that stupid teacher did not call in any support, she did not come to help me, until something like forty five minutes had gone by.  By the time she finally came to relieve me and help me, I was shaking so badly and just kind of ran out of the classroom and went to the site supervisor and let her have it.  As someone who has never yelled at anybody in any situation beyond living/romantic/family, the fact that I could not contain myself in the face of an authority figure was kind of more stunning to me than anything else.  I reamed her out, saying I had never seen a classroom with so little support, saying that there needs to be at least two experienced teachers in any given situation, that the ratio of student to teacher was unacceptable, and finished by pointing out that there wasn't enough of that shitty ass preschool food for ONE portion per student.  And then I stormed out, while saying I would never return.

Somehow this feels like a turning point in my life.  I am still kind of stunned.  I wish I had had a reaction like this when I was working as a telemarketer, or a personal assistant, or a dog walker, or something that didn't involve people working with at risk youth.  I have to admit, I feel like kind of a wank.