CTFO
Ah, everything that was a burden lifted as quickly as it set, tricky blighters! Hoorah hoorah, no more burdens (although I still need to get my headlight repaired).
I need to chill the fuck out. I mean, now I feel chill, but everyone told me that the court appearance was no big deal, and yet I made a huge deal of it and became quickly antisocial and full of internalized anxiety before returning to chill status. And some other things were certainly ingredients. No good can come of such actions, in any case, and at this point I've determined that my most consistent nonproductive (i.e. anti-productive) pattern is to freak out over lots of little things at once and cave in on myself for a period before resurfacing, tale wrapped around a leg in shame, to repair the damages. For the most part I've figured out how to spearhead overwhelming or crisis-ish incidents like an Olympic champion, but when little (especially bureaucratic or romantic-ish) things happen I get ridiculously paralyzed with the moment. Time and discipline of sorts are required to spark the electricity back into my aching legs so that they catch up with time and the inevitably unanticipated events that always continue to appear on the scene. This time I've resurfaced with lower back pain.
Lately I've been working a lot. As in, standing and lifting and cleaning and serving and balancing, usually on cement or concrete surfaces, occasionally there's a wooden floor. That is probably also contributing to my lower back pain. The plan of action? Constant yoga with sexy Sarah, my wonderful friend and impending roommate.
My sister is coming to live here! My sister is coming to live here! She is committed! She has plans! She is dedicated! We have made plans! Tickets have been bought! Roadtrip has been anticipated and time has been successfully requested off! Joy joy joy! Santa Fe summers are legendary and properly good. This will be no disappointment, I am sure.
I need a massage. Otherwise, I have all that I need.
Oh. Except that my computer was so hot today that it emitted a metallic smell, as if something were melting on the inside. Then it turned off. Not good.
I need to chill the fuck out. I mean, now I feel chill, but everyone told me that the court appearance was no big deal, and yet I made a huge deal of it and became quickly antisocial and full of internalized anxiety before returning to chill status. And some other things were certainly ingredients. No good can come of such actions, in any case, and at this point I've determined that my most consistent nonproductive (i.e. anti-productive) pattern is to freak out over lots of little things at once and cave in on myself for a period before resurfacing, tale wrapped around a leg in shame, to repair the damages. For the most part I've figured out how to spearhead overwhelming or crisis-ish incidents like an Olympic champion, but when little (especially bureaucratic or romantic-ish) things happen I get ridiculously paralyzed with the moment. Time and discipline of sorts are required to spark the electricity back into my aching legs so that they catch up with time and the inevitably unanticipated events that always continue to appear on the scene. This time I've resurfaced with lower back pain.
Lately I've been working a lot. As in, standing and lifting and cleaning and serving and balancing, usually on cement or concrete surfaces, occasionally there's a wooden floor. That is probably also contributing to my lower back pain. The plan of action? Constant yoga with sexy Sarah, my wonderful friend and impending roommate.
My sister is coming to live here! My sister is coming to live here! She is committed! She has plans! She is dedicated! We have made plans! Tickets have been bought! Roadtrip has been anticipated and time has been successfully requested off! Joy joy joy! Santa Fe summers are legendary and properly good. This will be no disappointment, I am sure.
I need a massage. Otherwise, I have all that I need.
Oh. Except that my computer was so hot today that it emitted a metallic smell, as if something were melting on the inside. Then it turned off. Not good.