In which ratherastory whines about life in a vague way
I know I haven't been writing or posting much. I have been remiss, and I do apologize for that. There are reasons, all of them RL related.
1- I'm having work issues. I wouldn't go into them here even if I could, because my job is a government-type organisation that actually takes its public image really seriously and there are rules governing what I may and may not say in public and even semi-public spheres. So, suffice it to say that I am having issues that are causing me a lot of stress these days.
2- I am having financial issues. Nothing that is going to break me (I hope), but there's a LOT of month left at the end of the money these days, and the near future is looking shaky. I have no other means of income other than my job, and so there is more stress there. Yay.
3- I've been having some minor but seemingly chronic health issues. They mostly seem to boil down to constant tiredness/borderline exhaustion, combined with semi-regular stomach upset and increasingly frequent migraines. So I've been pretty much sleeping when I haven't been at work or running errands, and when I do manage to stay awake I have entirely SHIT for focus. So I watch TV or hang out on Twitter or take the dog for a walk, and that's all I can manage.
4- All of the above means that I've been in a bad head space. Most of you may not know that I struggled for years with Type II Bipolar Disorder. It's not a secret, but I've been essentially fine for going on six years now. I don't take meds anymore, and lead a perfectly "normal," productive life. I'm still prone to ups and downs, but nothing debilitating. Of course, I do live with the constant dread that I'll backslide, and so the bad head space from everything else keeps me wondering if this is it, if I'm utterly screwed, etc. There's nothing like the knowledge that it WAS once "all in my head" to make me second-guess everything, all the time. So I don't know if I'm depressed or if this is all due to something else.
Also, I feel kind of shitty for being in a bad head space when people around me are actually going through really bad times. It feels frivolous and self-indulgent and vapid.
Did I mention yay? Yeah.
Long story short: tired + kind of busy + no focus = no writing
This entry was originally posted at http://ratherastory.dreamwidth.org/220712.html, where there are
: comments, currently. Feel free to comment wherever you'd like! ♥
1- I'm having work issues. I wouldn't go into them here even if I could, because my job is a government-type organisation that actually takes its public image really seriously and there are rules governing what I may and may not say in public and even semi-public spheres. So, suffice it to say that I am having issues that are causing me a lot of stress these days.
2- I am having financial issues. Nothing that is going to break me (I hope), but there's a LOT of month left at the end of the money these days, and the near future is looking shaky. I have no other means of income other than my job, and so there is more stress there. Yay.
3- I've been having some minor but seemingly chronic health issues. They mostly seem to boil down to constant tiredness/borderline exhaustion, combined with semi-regular stomach upset and increasingly frequent migraines. So I've been pretty much sleeping when I haven't been at work or running errands, and when I do manage to stay awake I have entirely SHIT for focus. So I watch TV or hang out on Twitter or take the dog for a walk, and that's all I can manage.
4- All of the above means that I've been in a bad head space. Most of you may not know that I struggled for years with Type II Bipolar Disorder. It's not a secret, but I've been essentially fine for going on six years now. I don't take meds anymore, and lead a perfectly "normal," productive life. I'm still prone to ups and downs, but nothing debilitating. Of course, I do live with the constant dread that I'll backslide, and so the bad head space from everything else keeps me wondering if this is it, if I'm utterly screwed, etc. There's nothing like the knowledge that it WAS once "all in my head" to make me second-guess everything, all the time. So I don't know if I'm depressed or if this is all due to something else.
Also, I feel kind of shitty for being in a bad head space when people around me are actually going through really bad times. It feels frivolous and self-indulgent and vapid.
Did I mention yay? Yeah.
Long story short: tired + kind of busy + no focus = no writing
This entry was originally posted at http://ratherastory.dreamwidth.org/220712.html, where there are
: comments, currently. Feel free to comment wherever you'd like! ♥