white
i live in a house made of white
where white curtains hang, never drawn
awake in the morning in sheets of white
the sound of the ceiling fan clicking
sun beams in, shards of light
through the blinds, my eyes, my face
my mind, open like the window
and im feeling like i might take flight
---
i am so sick, my head is full of phlegm and mucus of yellowish green
it feels so heavy, like i cant support it on my tiny frame
i went to the doctor, he gave me some drugs but they didnt work, he doesnt know what hes talking about
he gave me the wrong thing, just like last time.
im never going to this one ever again. i should be better by now.
so i went to the doctor again today and he gave me new drugs which will hopefully work.
im ready to cut off my head its so painful.
and i dont like whinging, and maybe i have a low tolerance for sickness
but it hurts ok, so let me be..
i paid $144 for me to be able to drive, such a waste of money.
and now i can go 100 speed limit, big whoop.
i also brought a skeleton jumpsuit for my birthday for which im having a party,
my birthday is on halloween, so of course its dress up.
i cant decide if i should be a witch or a skeleton?
maybe ill just be both, and alternate throughout the night and confuse people.
haha too much effort. so much drama in this life, really. its ridiculous, stop being 5.
i think im maybe the most laid back person ive ever met,
i dont see the point in unnecessary fights or, well.. drama.
just get over it already, id rather be happy than sad so stop trying to make it harder for yourselves.
i dont really have anything planned for the next few weeks, no work coming up (apart from the races again..) and so my money is slowly disappearing. i need to stop spending like im rich, when im not. it costs to much to stay alive.
if i hear that fucking 'nothing sweet about me' song one more time, i swear ill open a vein. and i havent even heard the whole song yet.
i am a hunchback, crick in my neck. ouchouchouch.
i cant remember, whatever you asked me, i dont remember.
i think perhaps there is a storm looming up ahead, or maybe just rain
but the tree outside is dark and ominous and moving around in the wind.
it looks really mean, almost evil. i might go take a picture.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh siiiiiicknessssssss
byebyebye
xo