(no subject)
Dear cult of livejournal followers,
So I took a step the other day. A great big metaphorical honker of a step... in what most definitely IS the right direction. My usual coping methods cant and wont work for this.
(gentle reminder for all y'all: cj's usual coping method is just pretending that something doesn't exist... I have been a gigantic fan of this in the past. Hardly, if never, has it worked out in my favour.)
i had found myself getting into another sticky situation; that of which i was hoping to not find myself in. ah, good ol meth.
bad cj. bad.
having smoked it and whatnot and so on and so forth.
and when im high or when im coming down, i lose any confidence in myself and what i have to offer anybody (..which goes against why some people do it). anything at that point in time that might be a threat (even on the smallest scale), blows up into something much larger.
not cool.
i took it out on Lauren and my friend Cait (from dryden) this weekend.
that whole thing brought to light this entry. I said some harsh things. ...that i was just being a big asshole mcjerkface about. and i am kicking myself now. cuz i hurt Lauren, whos really awesome to/for me. ]
i worry about the shit going on in her life.
i hope she's alright.
i will kick anyone's teeth in, that gets in her way. i got new shoes. they are heavy.
if you were planning on fucking around, consider this your warning. *taps big red shoes patiently*
So I took a step the other day. A great big metaphorical honker of a step... in what most definitely IS the right direction. My usual coping methods cant and wont work for this.
(gentle reminder for all y'all: cj's usual coping method is just pretending that something doesn't exist... I have been a gigantic fan of this in the past. Hardly, if never, has it worked out in my favour.)
i had found myself getting into another sticky situation; that of which i was hoping to not find myself in. ah, good ol meth.
bad cj. bad.
having smoked it and whatnot and so on and so forth.
and when im high or when im coming down, i lose any confidence in myself and what i have to offer anybody (..which goes against why some people do it). anything at that point in time that might be a threat (even on the smallest scale), blows up into something much larger.
not cool.
i took it out on Lauren and my friend Cait (from dryden) this weekend.
that whole thing brought to light this entry. I said some harsh things. ...that i was just being a big asshole mcjerkface about. and i am kicking myself now. cuz i hurt Lauren, whos really awesome to/for me. ]
i worry about the shit going on in her life.
i hope she's alright.
i will kick anyone's teeth in, that gets in her way. i got new shoes. they are heavy.
if you were planning on fucking around, consider this your warning. *taps big red shoes patiently*