VG FOREVAR
ENOUGH TALK: HAVE AT YOU
WHAT IS A MAN
A MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS
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Some background, necessary to understand this joke:
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is a shining light in the annals of video game sequels, and even MORESO for video game bloodlines entering their third (fourth?) consecutive console. This shit hit Playstation and everyone was like daaaaaamn, whose genius idea was it to thrust a bunch of kickass cheese-metal into the most un-fuckwith-able video game format ever (jumping and hitting stuff that moves and collecting stuff)
And Konami said, well, us, we were gonna be demure about it BUT the cat's out of the bag.
CD-ROM format just opened the floodgates for horrible/wonderful multimedia to sweep over video games. Remember early Sega CD games?
ALL OF WHICH WERE LIKE "shoot a rat, get grainy video of some lady telling you where the other rats are," and you also have Rob Schnieder in a game about knights, but at the same time there's this Final Fantasy hoo-rah with the swords and the giant dragons, and Parappa the Rapper getting to rap at you (later: UmJammer Lammy to FAIL at you too). You also had a spate of the worst voice acting ever commited to any storage medium.
Guess which game wins my award for best-worst? Hint: We are discussing it.
This video is just some kids lip-synching the dialogue and attempting to recreate the game footage in realtime, and then one of them awkwardly takes his shirt off at the end and hip-thrusts, but seriously, while you watch, try to imagine the process of being in the recording studio and thinking to yourself, "Okay self. You have to portray Dracula, one of the scariest monsters ever imagined by mankind. How will you do this. I mean, clearly, besides by overenunciating. Good thing this script is so solid."
WHAT IS A MAN
A MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS
|
|
V
Some background, necessary to understand this joke:
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is a shining light in the annals of video game sequels, and even MORESO for video game bloodlines entering their third (fourth?) consecutive console. This shit hit Playstation and everyone was like daaaaaamn, whose genius idea was it to thrust a bunch of kickass cheese-metal into the most un-fuckwith-able video game format ever (jumping and hitting stuff that moves and collecting stuff)
And Konami said, well, us, we were gonna be demure about it BUT the cat's out of the bag.
CD-ROM format just opened the floodgates for horrible/wonderful multimedia to sweep over video games. Remember early Sega CD games?
ALL OF WHICH WERE LIKE "shoot a rat, get grainy video of some lady telling you where the other rats are," and you also have Rob Schnieder in a game about knights, but at the same time there's this Final Fantasy hoo-rah with the swords and the giant dragons, and Parappa the Rapper getting to rap at you (later: UmJammer Lammy to FAIL at you too). You also had a spate of the worst voice acting ever commited to any storage medium.
Guess which game wins my award for best-worst? Hint: We are discussing it.
This video is just some kids lip-synching the dialogue and attempting to recreate the game footage in realtime, and then one of them awkwardly takes his shirt off at the end and hip-thrusts, but seriously, while you watch, try to imagine the process of being in the recording studio and thinking to yourself, "Okay self. You have to portray Dracula, one of the scariest monsters ever imagined by mankind. How will you do this. I mean, clearly, besides by overenunciating. Good thing this script is so solid."