I Miss My Boys :(

[ratdog]

Even with the cruise this last week has been really hard for me. The first night of the cruise, I completely broke down in my room and went to my mom crying. I missed Toby and couldn't think of anything else. I came home and wanted him to be there. But he wasn't. I finally broke down his cage the other day. I got a stereo for Christmas and didn't have room for it anywhere other than where his cage was. That was really hard. I about cried. It looks so weird not to have the cage there. I still want him to be here and laying with me on the couch or riding around on my shoulder or playing on the bed. I even miss his shirt diving (which can sometimes be embarrassing) and his rodentistry (which my parents and brother thought was gross). I've been going around to the rat forums, but mostly lurking. Seeing everyone else's pics is starting to make me depressed. I went to Petsmart yesterday for no real reason other than I went to Best Buy and it's across the street. They had a black berk dumbo girlie. I had to hold her. She reminded me so much of Toby. She was calm, and went straight to my shoulder. She didn't want to go to anyone else either, which is how Toby was when he was out with me. I didn't buy her, although I wish I had now. I asked mom this morning, and she said to talk to dad. I did, and he said no. Of course. He says "The cycle of rats has to end sometime." He says that if I get more rats I'm not going to be able to find a place to move out to. He also hates that they have such a short life span--that every two or so years they die and I get sad again. I don't like it either, but they make me so much happier while they are alive. It's strange how much these little guys can effect you. I've had rats for five years and now suddenly I don't and I haven't been this depressed since my Grandma died (I'm not as depressed as I was about my Grandma, but still more depressed than I have been about anything else since).

Well, I thought my next entry would be a little happier, but I guess not. I'll eventually get around to telling you about our cruise, I promise...

Edit: Oh yes, and flist, I will catch up with you guys too. It's just been kinda crazy lately...