(no subject)
My grandpa passed yesterday at 12:50pm of June 20, 2005. I miss and love him very much. i remember this morning when my sister left me that message that he was in a coma. I called later and she told me that he had left. I felt nothing when i got up and got dressed. Nate dropped me off at the hospital and i went up to the room. There he was, just lying there, motionless. I felt nothing. I said goodbye and walked around the hosptal abit. My brother was going to get my little sisters from school and i insisted on coming along. And so we got to the middle school and when i saw my youngest sister, all i can think of was how cute she looked on the last day of school, still that funny dorky Mora of mine, then i saw my other younger sister and gosh, they looked like twins. We then went back to the hosptal and there was my grandpa again, motionless. I went to stand near the window. We were on the third floor. My cousins from Maine walked in and the oldest one hugged my grandma and i could hear her cry, and said,"Grandpa is gone, i have no one to call on anymore." And my cousin, he began to cry. I blinked away the tears welling up in my eyes. I didnt want anyone to see me cry. Later when i was sitting next to his body, my uncle came in to say a prayer. I began to weep. I wept for all the time i had him, and how much i want it back. For that time when my mom told him i couldnt drink coffee but he poured it into a cup and gave it to me anyway. And how he could make anything out of anything. The time when he tried drawing a picture and telling me that it was my mom, i guess it was abstract art. When he'd sit there drinking and smoking and telling his past stories, id try to sit there and listen, but id lose him somewhere with the trees. There was this one story he told me about how he ate noodles in Cambodia once and he laughed so hard it came out of his nose and he just left it there to dangle as he laugh some more. it was so hard to see him going. For some reason i kept thinking that he was still breathing. I dont know if it was because of my tired eyes or because i was hoping that he was still breathing. God, he looked like he was sleeping. My niece didnt even know, she thought that he was sleeping. I wish i was her. I dont want to accept this, but yes, he does not have to suffer anymore. He had already suffered enough. He was a veteran, my grandpa, part viet, chinese and Cambodian is what i found out. He'd kiss me on my cheek when i was younger and i would push away because his stubbles would always poke me. Grandpa, i wont push me away anymore, even if your stubbles made me bleed, id hold you closer and pray that you'd be here forever. Sovanna later came and i said a final goodbye to my grandpa before they took him away. His funeral is on Friday and Saturday. We are having 2 ceremonies. I wish i could have him again. Please come back Grandpa. I'm sorry i was so ungrateful. I Love You, please forgive me. You will always be remebered. I Love you. I love you. i love you.