(no subject)
I had a dream that someone I don't speak to anymore hunted me down. Then ontop of that she teamed up with my mother so that the both of them could try to destroy me. (which is scarry because I'm convinced my mother has already been trying to do this all my life)
My immediate reaction was "big deal I'll kill the both of them right now." But then I couldn't. I turned back and disapeared.
*sigh*
...I think that they may be the main reasons why I'm completely against women.
And not only that but I'm also now again children.
And my father is a main reason why I'm against men as well.
Seriously. I even have intimacy issues now. I'm repulsed when I think about it. I haven't had sex in like 3 0r 4 YEARS. And now I'm obssesed with robots and dolls. Wierd? Yeah little bit.
And I cannot forgive people for anything. I just go away. And that might be my fault.
I think it hurts me more than anything.
So I've become a mess and jaded. But happier. Like I was before I ever started to date at all. I basically hide from the world. Occasionally hang out with the very few friends that I do have. And spend insane amounts of money of things not really needed. Everyone needs shoes, but not everyone needs 58 pairs at $500 each, with an added Jean Paul Gaultier wardrobe -just because- Hyde has one. And video games and movies UNLIMITED.
Before I realised all of this my goal was to hurt anyone who came into my life. Now I'm sorry, but instead I just don't hang around anyone. It's better that I don't. And the people who are still around I treat them extremely well. ..Most of the time. :)
Whatever. I felt I had to write about it because of my dream. I guess I have been thinking about it alot lately.
I just wonder alot of anyone I knew before still ever thinks about me.
My immediate reaction was "big deal I'll kill the both of them right now." But then I couldn't. I turned back and disapeared.
*sigh*
...I think that they may be the main reasons why I'm completely against women.
And not only that but I'm also now again children.
And my father is a main reason why I'm against men as well.
Seriously. I even have intimacy issues now. I'm repulsed when I think about it. I haven't had sex in like 3 0r 4 YEARS. And now I'm obssesed with robots and dolls. Wierd? Yeah little bit.
And I cannot forgive people for anything. I just go away. And that might be my fault.
I think it hurts me more than anything.
So I've become a mess and jaded. But happier. Like I was before I ever started to date at all. I basically hide from the world. Occasionally hang out with the very few friends that I do have. And spend insane amounts of money of things not really needed. Everyone needs shoes, but not everyone needs 58 pairs at $500 each, with an added Jean Paul Gaultier wardrobe -just because- Hyde has one. And video games and movies UNLIMITED.
Before I realised all of this my goal was to hurt anyone who came into my life. Now I'm sorry, but instead I just don't hang around anyone. It's better that I don't. And the people who are still around I treat them extremely well. ..Most of the time. :)
Whatever. I felt I had to write about it because of my dream. I guess I have been thinking about it alot lately.
I just wonder alot of anyone I knew before still ever thinks about me.