A Little Lost Along the Way - Part I
(All the fics in this series are completely stand-alone, so there's no need to read them in any particularly order or even read them all.)
Title: A Little Lost Along the Way - Part I
Fandom: Captain America/Avengers
Series: To Rewrite History
Pairings: Steve/Bucky
Warnings: Canon-typical violence, a bit of implied angst
Word Count: 9366
Disclaimer: If I owned it, the good guys would kick ass.
Summary: Steve doesn't even hesitate when Bucky falls.
Steve doesn't even hesitate when Bucky falls. How can he when he has just watched his entire world slip through his fingers and all he can think about is everything that he never got to say?
So he jumps, leaving his shield behind for the Howling Commandos to stumble over when they finally rush through the train car door. Morita sees it first, the shining stars and stripes catching the soldier's eye like a beacon, and none of them want to believe that their Captain could be gone. But their shouts are met with nothing but silence and Zola’s laughing cackle as the scientist calls Captain America a fool of the worst kind. He stands there gloating smugly until Dugan knocks him out with a sock across his jaw.
They return to the base with their prisoner in hand and their hearts bowed with sorrow, the Captain’s shield passed off to Agent Carter solemnly. All of the Commandos know how much Peggy cares about their leader and neither she nor Howard Stark ever truly believes that Steve has died. Indeed Stark searches for Captain America long after a sane man would have given up the quest as hopeless and even as Agent Carter moves on with her life, she never forgets the dreams that she once had.
In all this grief, James Buchanan Barnes becomes something of an afterthought, only the Commandos remembering to toast his sacrifice as well. Though it is Gabe who speaks what all of them are thinking when he raises his last glass.
“At least the pair of them got to die together if they had to go at all. That's how Cap would have wanted it and while I'm sure Bucky would have cursed him out something fierce for his stupidity, I like to think that he'll be there to watch the Captain's back. So here's to the best commander I ever served under and the sniper who kept his naivety in line; boys, we're going to win this war for them.”
And they do, even if the casualties are higher than they might have been otherwise and it is Colonel Phillips who crashes the Red Skull's plane into the Arctic Sea.
But Steve knows nothing of this as he hurtles through the air and even if he could have predicted their reactions, he would have jumped anyway. Because he can see Bucky drawing ever nearer and it is worth the thought of dying to finally take him in his arms.
“What are you doing?!” his friend shouts, the sound lost in the screaming wind around them. Only long familiarity allows Steve to recognize what he is saying, that and the horror on Bucky's face. “You stupid sodding idiot! You're not supposed to die for me!”
His friend has always been more worried about Steve than his own safety, case in point: the last five minutes of their lives. But one of these days he’s going to convince Bucky that his own life has value and now is as good a time as any to have that argument. Because who else would he choose to die for if this moment had to come? Who else would be more worth it than the one man Steve cannot imagine life without?
So he pulls Bucky closer, twisting in the air so that his body will take the brunt of their landing when they finally reach the ground. He doesn’t know if he can survive the impact but he has a better chance than Bucky and maybe Erskine’s serum will grant him one more miracle.
But just in case it doesn’t, there are some secrets that Steve needs to stop hiding before he loses his last chance to speak the words.
“Of course not, you jerk. I’m going to live for you instead,” he whispers, leaning in so that his lips brush the other man’s ear with every syllable. “Because I am ridiculously in love with you and I think that you should know.”
Bucky’s whole body stiffens in his arms for a moment, long enough that Steve starts to wonder if his confession was a mistake after all. He couldn’t bear it if he died knowing that his best friend hated him, though at least the pain of rejection would be over soon enough. However, when Steve pulls back to look at Bucky, what he sees makes his heart skip a beat. For while his friend has always been incredibly expressive, his face is almost incandescent now and the blond’s fingers ache for a pencil to capture the dawning wonder in his eyes.
“And you decided to tell me now?!” Bucky exclaims, before wrapping his fingers in Steve’s collar and jerking him forward almost violently.
As first kisses go, it’s actually pretty awful: their teeth clacking and the angle far from comfortable. But none of that matters because it’s Bucky and Steve would take this over a thousand dames any day, even ones as beautiful and intelligent as Agent Carter. For no matter how much he truly does like Peggy, he would never have been able to love her the way that she deserves.
Not when his heart has been wrapped up in Bucky for as long as he can remember and all Steve can think about now is how many days they wasted with their cowardice. So he kisses Bucky again, trying to make up for every time that he turned away instead of speaking, though in truth a lifetime still wouldn’t be enough. The other man tastes like the dirt that they've been slogging through for months, like smoke and heat and something indescribable.
He kisses Bucky until the ground rushes up to meet them and his world dissolves in pain instead.
---
“Wake up, Captain. The war is long over but I may still have use for you.”
Steve does not want to. He doesn’t want to move at all since his head is slow and fuzzy and every breath he takes is an agony. But every time he tries to slip back into unconsciousness again something pokes him in the side and he just wants his friend to let him sleep.
“Bucky, quit it,” Steve moans, throwing one arm out to the side and he panics when he all he feels is ice beneath his hand. Because he doesn't remember much but he knows that Bucky should be there.
“Hold him down!” the voice screams as he struggles to sit up, opening his eyes to a blur of black and red. There are men above him, soldiers with weapons in their hands and no mercy in the eyes behind their masks. But Steve doesn't pay any attention to their growled commands even as these men shove at his shoulders because Bucky is lying far too still on the ground nearby.
There is so much blood, the snow and ice around his friend stained crimson, and bile rises in Steve’s throat when he realizes that Bucky’s left arm is gone. It just ends, flesh sheared off in a ragged line of bone and muscle that sends terror through his heart.
No one could lose that much blood and still be breathing even if the other man had survived the fall somehow. No normal man could have lasted out in this frozen winter and his friend must have died only a few feet from his arms.
Which is unthinkable and so Steve lurches forward with a strangled cry, taking one step before his leg buckles into screaming misery. He hadn’t even noticed that it was broken in his panic and even now it barely slows him down. Instead he pulls himself forward on icy fingers, snarling at the soldiers who try to block his path. Bucky may be dead but no one is going to separate them; no one is going to tear his love from him again.
But when he finally drags himself close enough to touch the other’s face, Steve’s hands meet warmth instead of cold. There is life in Bucky’s veins, though he does not understand how this is possible; there is life and there is hope.
So Steve curls around his best friend’s body heedless of the watching soldiers, whispering a prayer of thanks against one frost-tinged cheek. But now that his sorrow is no longer overwhelming everything, a wave of pain and exhaustion washes over him. Without the rush of panic, Steve cannot keep his eyes from closing even though he knows that such lethargy is dangerous amidst enemies.
The darkness tugs at him no matter how he tries to fight it, his body shutting down so that it can rest and heal. For apparently even Erskine’s serum has its limits and he has found them now.
His audience seems to sense this weakness, the men inching closer until they can grab hold of Steve again. Their fingers dig into his shoulders without a hint of kindness, their hands cold and clinical even through the gloves they wear. But Steve manages only a few feeble struggles before one of the soldiers slams a gun into his head, speeding his descent into unconsciousness.
With his last bit of strength he locks his arms around Bucky’s waist, hoping that he can force these strangers to take both of them. The other man may have survived the fall but he won’t last long with his injuries untreated and Steve shoves away the thought that Bucky may not want to live like this.
His friend is stronger than that, too strong to let the loss of his arm defeat him, and Steve will be there to support him every step of the way.
So he holds on tighter even as he loses his battle for consciousness and the last thing that he hears in an odd burst of static is, “Bring them both. If Barnes still lives I can exploit this sort of loyalty.”
---
The next time that Steve wakes, the sun is shining and the sounds of baseball are playing in his ears. He can hear the announcer shouting about bases loaded and for a moment he almost believes that he’s back in New York again.
Back before the war when he was still short and scrawny and his mornings were often interrupted by Bucky crashing in on him. His friend had never had any respect for personal space where Steve was concerned, working his way into every aspect of his life on the strength of sheer audacity and that stupidly charming grin. Not that Steve had minded the invasion since he missed Bucky desperately whenever he was gone; he only wondered why a guy like that would want to be friends with him.
Though I guess I know why now, don’t I? Steve thinks a little smugly, remembering the feel of Bucky’s lips under his.
That thought opens the floodgates of memory and he jerks upright as he remembers everything that happened afterwards. The fall, their capture, Bucky’s arm… and shouldn’t Steve’s own leg be broken now?
But when he pushes himself to his feet, there isn’t even a hint of pain to show where he was injured and even for him bones take time to heal. When he had snapped a rib assaulting one of Hydra’s bases, Steve had been sore for several weeks, so to be healed this completely means that he has been unconscious far too long.
It’s been a month at least. How could I have slept for weeks? Steve wonders, looking around the strange room that he woke up in. Strange because it looks like something out of a movie - someone else’s idea of the kind of place he used to live. But Steve had never been rich enough to afford such nice furniture or even an apartment without cracks in the walls and this stuff is high-class forties, the sort of thing you’d see in fancy neighborhoods.
So someone has gone to a great deal of trouble to make him feel comfortable, someone who doesn’t actually know the details of Captain America’s history.
Because the room isn’t the only thing that’s wrong, it’s just the one Steve noticed first and now that he’s paying attention to the details, all kinds of errors jump out at him. It's everything: the fabric of his clothes, the view out of his window and the game on the radio that can't possibly be live.
He remembers this game, he and Bucky went to see it when it happened and he's ninety percent positive that this announcer died in the first year of the war. But maybe Steve’s mistaken; maybe the two games are just incredibly similar and he should wait for more concrete evidence before he freaks out. Which shouldn’t take more than a few more minutes, because the seventh inning of the game that he remembers ended with bases loaded after the Dodgers' pitcher struck three batters out, and hearing that again could not be coincidence.
So Steve forces himself to appear relaxed for anyone who’s watching, though that does not stop him from cataloging the exits and the bars behind the window glass. The first batter strikes out just as he remembers and the second has just stepped up to the plate when the door to Steve’s room creaks open quietly. He turns to see a pretty young blonde walking toward him, her clothes belying the strength of her stance.
She's dressed like a secretary, but there is steel beneath her skin and when she calls him Captain Rogers, he can hear a familiar military crispness in her voice.
“Hello, sir. How are you feeling?” the woman asks him with a bland smile, Steve muttering something non-committal as the third batter gets his first strike. By this point his instincts are screaming at him and he's not surprised when the rest of the inning plays out exactly as he thought it would.
Although Steve still can't bring himself to cold clock a woman, even if she’s probably an enemy, so he just runs past her instead. Thankfully, his sudden move catches her off guard and he manages to reach the door before she can draw the gun concealed beneath her coat. Once through, he slams it shut behind him, ripping the handle off for good measure so that she cannot get out.
He finds himself in a sterile hallway, nothing but cold steel and white-washed concrete as far as he can see. The place is obviously a maze, no way to tell which way to the exit and he doesn't have any time to waste. Because Steve isn't leaving without Bucky and the furious cursing behind him soon disappears beneath the clamor of alarms. This shrieking cacophony is joined by the sound of booted feet running toward his location and Steve takes off down the corridor just as a squad of black-clad soldiers rounds the bend.
He slams through them like a freight train, disabling rather than killing until he can discover whether they deserve to die. Along the way he picks up a helmet and a sidearm, his fists leaving a trail of groaning men in his wake.
Steve runs ever deeper into the complex, dodging guards when he can and taking them out when he has no other choice. His Russian is rough, barely more than a smattering of swear words, but it's enough to lead him toward the more secure part of the complex, some deeper instinct telling Steve that he'll find Bucky there.
The soldiers are getting thicker with each floor he descends, filling the halls like some kind of swarming insect, and Steve has to work to keep his momentum up. But despite the opposition that he's facing, these men aren't trying to kill him; their moves are much too constrained for that. They're only trying to capture him and while that should be a relief, the sick feeling in Steve's chest only grows. He remembers the kind of experiments that Hydra conducted on their prisoners during the war, the kind of secrets that his own side had kept, and even if the war is over, this can mean nothing good.
And Steve is right, although he would have given anything to be wrong.
For when he sprints down one last corridor and slams through the doorway at the end of the hall, what he finds there nearly brings him to his knees. It’s a laboratory out of Steve's worst nightmares and in the center of the room is what he seeks.
Bucky is there locked into a frozen prison, his eyes closed in either unconsciousness or sleep, but while his arm had been missing below the elbow when Steve last saw him, that’s not true anymore. Now his entire shoulder seems to have been replaced with some kind of metal prosthesis, the sort of technology that should be impossible. It is impossible by every standard that Steve has ever heard of and yet what he cannot move past is the pain this must have caused.
“Oh my god, Bucky... What did they do to you?” Steve exclaims in horror, rushing forward to free the other man.
“I wouldn't do that, Rogers. Not yet at least,” a voice cautions, crackling out of hidden speakers even as energy sparks beneath Steve's hand. He stumbles back when a web of electricity sizzles into life around the chamber holding Bucky and while the thought of being shocked doesn't scare him, he can't risk unconsciousness.
So Steve starts looking for a way to turn off the power - there must be some switch somewhere, right? - too focused on freeing his friend to care when the lab door hisses shut again. It’s irrelevant since he's not leaving without Bucky, although he pauses in his search when that same voice rings out again.
“Truly, Captain, you should thank me. I saved your friend when my compatriots would have left him there to die and I made him into a soldier who can finally keep up with you. Surely Sergeant Barnes would not have wanted to live out his life as a cripple and now he will not have to suffer such prejudice.”
“He would have wanted to make that choice himself!” Steve growls in response, his hands curling into fists at his sides. But his fury dissolves into confusion when a small movie screen slides down from the ceiling and flickers on.
“Hello, Steven. It has been a long time since we last met; far longer than you know,” Arnim Zola's grinning face stares back at him, his features painted green and black like something from a movie screen. “But while your precious Commandos succeeded in stopping the Red Skull’s triumph, Hydra is not defeated so easily. We are legion; cut off one head and two more will grow back in its place. Indeed the world believes that the war is over, but in truth, the war has just begun.”
“So what do you want from us?” Steve asks, though in truth he already knows what he will hear.
“A war needs soldiers, Captain, and you always were the best,” the scientist replies almost proudly, the covetous look in his false eyes making Steve's skin crawl. “You and Barnes are the only successful examples of Erskine's work; the only successful experiments of this kind in all the world, and I have need of hands now that mine are lost to me.”
“We will never work for you,” the blond swears fiercely, continuing his search for a switch, a weapon, anything more frantically. But Zola does not seem concerned by his efforts, not at all.
“I assure you; you cannot escape and even if you did, you have nowhere to go. There is nowhere you could flee that Hydra would not find you and you have no allies, for you and Barnes were declared dead more than sixty years ago. You are men out of time and I am the only one who will offer you a place in this new world of ours.”
“What are you talking about? That's impossible.”
“This is the age of miracles, Captain. Nothing is impossible and Erskine's serum was stronger than we knew. So you and Barnes froze instead of dying, the serum working to keep you alive beyond all probability. That is why you were still injured when my soldiers found you - your body could not both heal your wounds and maintain core temperature. You were preserved this way for decades, hidden by the crevasse into which you fell and I only managed to discover your location a few years ago.”
“Years?!” Steve exclaims, caught between shock and utter disbelief. Yet that would explain both how they could have transformed Bucky so completely and the gaping holes in his memory.
“Of course. Why would I wake you when you are so much less self-righteous when unconscious and I still had hopes of replicating what you can do? However, Erskine's work has proven difficult to replicate and I have come to the realization that it must be you instead. Admittedly the masquerade upstairs was rather poorly put together but it's so hard to find good minions these days and I was hoping to avoid this sort of rampage through my halls.
“We did try to wake just Barnes, of course, but it seems that he has an annoying tendency toward instability when he finds himself alone. Despite our attempts at conditioning he remains far too stubborn and I am tired of losing scientists.”
The thought that Steve has been sleeping peacefully while Zola tortures Bucky fans the embers of his rage into an inferno and he barely hears the scientist’s next words over the rushing in his ears. He had promised the other man that they would not be separated, even if his friend had not been awake to hear it, and this is not a loss which he can bear again.
“Now, Captain, do try to calm your friend before he hurts himself.” With this final order the screen slides back up into the ceiling, the electricity surrounding Bucky's prison shutting off again. Then the front of the chamber hisses open and the other man falls into Steve's arms.
“I got you, Buck. It's going to be all right,” he murmurs, trying to settle his friend more comfortably. Bucky is disoriented, barely even awake, and his metal arm keeps throwing him off balance whenever he tries to sit up. Honestly, Steve is still kind of freaking out about that but he needs to get his friend out of here before they can deal with his injury and that's not going to be easy to accomplish. Particularly if he has to protect Bucky while trying to fight off Zola's soldiers and he's starting to worry about how long it's taking the other man to come out of it.
The scientist must have given him something and Steve doesn't have time to let him recover naturally. But just as the blond is about to throw Bucky over his shoulder and make a break for it, his friend begins to struggle wildly.
“No! No! No! I don't want it - take it off!” he shouts, pulling away from Steve’s hands. As he stumbles backwards, he starts tearing at the metal arm where it's attached to his left shoulder and the panicked entreaties he keeps muttering claw into Steve's heart.
“Hey, hey. Bucky! You're gonna hurt yourself,” he says, reaching out to grab onto his friend before he can cause himself serious injury. But Bucky just keeps struggling until Steve finally has to wrap him into a straitjacket hold and pull him back against his chest. “Sshh love, ssshhh. It's just Steve, your Stevie; it's going to be all right. Please, you have to calm down for me.”
He keeps murmuring soothing nonsense until Bucky begins to relax and when his friend finally turns to look at him, Steve breathes a sigh of relief.
“Stevie? Where are we? I don't... I don't remember much after the train. Just flashes where everything hurts and there are scientists and... what did they do to my arm?” Bucky's voices rises on the last word, an edge of panic returning to his voice before the blond soothes him down again.
“I'm not sure, Buck. I know you were injured when we fell and Zola captured us, but he was saying all sorts of crazy things so I don't know what's true. We can figure things out once we get out of here.”
“All right,” the other man agrees, pushing himself to his feet with a groan. He's still holding his metal limb away from his body awkwardly but at least he isn't falling over any more and that will have to do for now. Even if Bucky's only got one working hand at the moment there's no one else that Steve wants at his back during a firefight and he has to laugh when his friend adds cockily, “Come on then. Let's blow this joint.”
Though that's easier said than done when they reach the door of the laboratory because it's sealed shut tightly and there's no handle to be seen. So Steve starts looking for a metal bar that he can use to pry the damn thing open since even his fists can't punch through solid steel. Not without his shield at least.
But before he can start pounding on the metal, Bucky lays a firm hand on his arm. “Let me try,” the other man says, taking Steve’s place by the door as his new arm whirs into life. Steve watches with wide eyes as Bucky curls silver fingers into a fist and then slams his body forward, metal meeting steel with a deafening clang. The entire door bows inward, top half ripping straight off its hinges, and that may actually be the hottest thing that Steve has ever seen.
“As much as I hate this thing, it has its uses,” Bucky tells him with a crooked grin and when they get out of here, they're definitely gonna experiment. But when his friend grabs the edge of the door and tears it free, the corridor before them is filled wall to wall with soldiers staring back at them.
Steve clenches his fingers around the bar that he’s holding, even as his other hand reaches for the gun in his pocket, and he’s ready to kill everyone if that will get Bucky out of here. But before he can lunge forward to start the carnage, Zola interrupts him once again.
“Impressive, Captain. You reached Barnes far more quickly than I expected and you should consider this audition a success. However, I am afraid that there is one more thing you need to know before you do anything foolish. When we installed your friend's arm, we added some insurance to the mechanism for a situation just like this. So unless you wish to watch Barnes choke to death on cyanide, you will allow my men to take you back into custody.”
Steve turns to look at Bucky helplessly, his friend's mouth twisting in frustration at how's he's being used. But that's exactly the sort of thing that Hydra would have done and he can't risk the other man’s life on the chance that Zola lied.
So he takes off his helmet with a growl, laying the sidearm that he stole down on the floor while Bucky curls his hands into fists next to him. He is obviously furious but he manages not to lash out as the soldiers advance on them, though he flinches when they reach out their hands. Seeing this, Steve has to step between them, glaring at the lead guard until he stops in his tracks.
“We can walk on our own,” the blond growls. “Show us where to go and we'll follow you.”
The guard seems confused by Steve's opposition, pausing awkwardly with his hand in midair while the rest of the men shuffle nervously. They stand in this frozen tableau for a few seconds until the speakers crackle to life again.
“Oh, just do it,” Zola sighs. “It's not like they couldn't break your handcuffs anyway.”
With permission granted, the soldiers fall in around Steve and Bucky and the whole group shuffles slowly down the hall. The guards lead them up a couple levels, their path twisting through a score of nearly identical passageways that Steve can't keep track of no matter how he tries. By the time they come to a halt, he's well and truly lost and he just hopes that Bucky managed to note the turns where he failed.
“In there,” one soldier orders in roughly accented English, gesturing with his gun toward another metal door. Through the opening, Steve can see what looks like a prison cell, if slightly nicer the usual - complete with cot and a toilet in the corner of the room.
However, when he moves to follow Bucky through the doorway, the guards block his way again. “Not you. You're in the next one,” one of them says, pointing toward another door down the hall.
“You can't separate us; I won't let you,” Steve replies, shaking his head in denial even as Bucky turns back to him worriedly. But the door slides shut before he can take more than one step toward the exit, Bucky's face disappearing behind solid steel again. He can hear the other man pounding on the other side of the door and Steve is about to rush forward when the noise cuts off suddenly.
“Bucky! What did you do to him?” he shouts up at the ceiling, glaring the soldiers off until Zola responds.
“Relax, Captain. I simply shut off that fancy arm of his before your friend could do any more damage to our fine facility. Now accept that you have no power here and follow these nice men into your room. We furnished it just for you.”
“How do I know that you won't kill Bucky as soon as I walk in?” Steve protests, fighting the urge to whale on the door frantically.
“So suspicious, Rogers. I am hardly going to kill one of my assets without cause, particularly not when I can use him as leverage over you. But I also cannot have you plotting with each other as I believe that you were hoping to. There is no escape, Captain; the sooner you accept this, the sooner all of us can get along. However, if it makes you more comfortable, I will allow you to see each other through the walls.”
It's not as though Steve has any other options, not as long as Zola has that kill-switch in Bucky's arm. So he allows the soldiers to lead him toward the next cell over, ducking his head through the door first to check whether Zola lied. However, one wall of the room is made of some weird substance, cloudier than glass but clear enough to see Bucky through.
The other man is leaning against the far wall of his room, clutching his metal arm where it's hanging limply at his side. He looks tired, a bone-deep exhaustion that Steve doesn't like to see, but a relieved smile breaks across his face when the blond knocks on the joining wall.
“Steve!” Bucky mouths, rushing over to stand across from him. “Are you all right?”
But whatever the clear substance is, it's obviously soundproof and Bucky leans back with a frown once he realizes.
“Sorry, Captain. I told you - I won't have you planning anything and before you decide to be creative, you should know that I can hear everything,” Zola says smugly and Steve is getting really tired of listening to him. “Now you should sleep because I have a very busy year arranged for you.”
As soon as the scientist falls silent again, the lights cut out and plunge both rooms into darkness, one so absolute that Steve feels like he's gone blind. However, even though he probably should take Zola's advice, he can't bring himself to go lay down on that cot. Instead he slumps back against the joining wall between their cells, the surface trembling slightly when Bucky does the same.
Then Steve lets his head drop onto his chest as the stress of the day washes over him. He may have only been awake for a few hours but he's been running on adrenaline since his eyes opened and it doesn't take long for sleep to pull him down again.
---
The following months pass by with excruciating slowness, every free minute stolen by training, lessons and Zola's experiments. While Steve never sees the scientist in person, his voice is everywhere - waking them up in the morning, lecturing him on the righteousness of Hydra's mission and always holding Bucky's death over them like an axe about to fall.
But for now Steve just endures it, allowing Zola's scientists to poke and prod him to their hearts' content. Though when it’s Bucky's turn to be examined, no one but Steve can calm him and while the other man’s panic is not entirely feigned, it’s also not as bad as it appears.
However, their captors don’t know Bucky well enough to tell the difference so they allow Steve to sit by his chair whenever Hydra’s tests require his friend to be conscious and he watches as the doctors open up his arm. He watches their movements very carefully and their enemies never seem to realize just what they're teaching him. Admittedly the technology is far beyond anything that he's ever seen before but Steve is a motivated student and these men are incredibly willing to brag about their work.
In fact, when he asks for proof that Zola's kill-switch exists, the technician actually points it out to him and although the five-minute lecture that follows doesn't tell him how to remove it, it's certainly a start. No wonder Zola was complaining about his minions when this is the level of intelligence they show, but Steve will take any advantage that they can get right now.
Meanwhile, Bucky starts mapping out the complex, his reputation for instability a great excuse for flipping out randomly. He has made a habit of darting down unexplored corridors whenever their guards stop paying attention and after the tenth time, they don't even bother to punish him.
Though that may have something to do with the teary-eyed pleading that meets the soldiers every time they catch him and Steve never thought there would be a wartime use for his ability to cry on cue. Not that Bucky is entirely unaffected by everything that has happened, but he's dealing well enough for now. Steve's presence seems to give him comfort and even if they're forbidden from conversing when their guards are with them, the pair has found ways to communicate.
For while the cameras make it difficult, they're both a fair hand at reading lips and they trade bits of Intel whenever they're in the same room. Which is relatively often since Zola seems fascinated by how his experiment stands up against Erskine’s original.
These sparring matches are good practice for their eventual break out, particularly as Bucky becomes more comfortable with what his arm can do. Suddenly the other man can hold his own against Captain America and as soon as they manage to dig out Hydra's fail-safes, Steve knows they'll be unstoppable. Though in all honesty, he often becomes a bit distracted during these sessions since that one kiss they shared is only the beginning of what he wants to do.
It's almost torture to have Bucky beneath his hands, skin slick with sweat and lips close enough to kiss again. It's torture but Steve doesn't dare as long as they've still got their audience.
So he holds himself back instead and it's not like they don't have practice at pretending not to care. He's been doing that for half his life, ever since he realized that he wanted Bucky more than any girl he'd ever seen.
The only time Steve allows himself to think about it is at night when the two of them are talking through the wall. Because even though the barrier is soundproof and the lights always shut off as soon as the doors lock behind them, vibrations travel through the wall quite well.
So they tap out long conversations, spelling out guard routines and weapon caches and sometimes classic poems letter by letter against the wall. Bucky likes listening to the simple rhythms when the need for escape starts buzzing beneath his skin; although sometimes even that isn’t enough to hold the nightmares back. On those nights neither of them sleeps easily and all Steve wants to do his wrap his fellow in his arms again.
When they finally get out of here, the first thing he's doing is buying them a room where they can be together and damn anyone who tries to tell him that it's wrong. Assuming that anyone even cares since Zola had not been lying when he said that this was a brand new century.
Not that the scientist has explicitly mentioned the new laws on homosexuality in any of his dossiers but Steve can read between the lines of media. He actually finds these lessons fascinating despite their situation because he never would have believed that the world could change so much. There's new technology that he never even imagined, new politics, new movements and new heroes, although all that Zola really cares about is teaching him and Bucky to blend in.
He wants them to be invisible, which means they have to know what's normal instead of freaking out whenever they see the price of meat these days. So the scientist introduces them to cell phones, the latest trends and internet, while Steve slowly pieces together an image of Hydra's plan.
Because Zola is no better than his minions if they ask the right questions and Bucky is quite skilled at making him monologue.
“Hydra is everywhere!” the voice exclaims when his friend dismisses the importance of his organization, Zola’s fanaticism ringing in their ears. “We have wormed our way into the governments of every major superpower; I exist within the heart of SHIELD itself and we are almost ready to step into the light again. Indeed you will be instrumental in conquering your precious country as we crush our enemies for good.”
Zola never realizes that each person whom he names as a target is one more ally for Steve to turn to in the future, though in his defense the scientist also seems to be quite mad. He keeps claiming to be dead, his mind preserved within some secret bunker and their communication done through the internet.
While this would explain why neither he nor Bucky have seen the man in person since they were captured, this is one thing that Steve just can't wrap his mind around. Enormous monsters made from failed versions of his serum, fine; tiny little phones that you can fit in your pocket, fine; but machines that can think are where he draws the line.
Yet as insane as the future has become, Steve and Bucky eventually learn everything that Zola has to teach them and this means that their time is running out. Soon the scientist is going to require them to hurt someone in exchange for Bucky's life and this is a choice that neither man can make.
So they spend long nights hashing out their escape plan and long days running mission simulations with Hydra’s soldiers, tests that they do their best to fail. While they cannot delay forever, all Steve and Bucky need is one perfect moment and it arrives in the form of Zola’s crazy laughing glee.
“Wakey, wakey, Captain. I have a gift for you,” the scientist yells as the lights flicker on that morning, Steve rolling over on his cot with a groan. “One of my moles within SHIELD liberated something from the agency's weapon storage; something that you should be pleased to see.”
This time their escort leads them down a different corridor than usual, finally coming to a halt in front of a heavily armored door. They gesture Steve inside and when he enters, his shield is laying on a table in the center of the room. He rushes over to pick it up, the familiar weight in his hands like meeting an old friend again, and he swipes it through the air a few times just because he can. Bucky snorts with amusement at his antics but Steve hadn't realized how bereft he felt without his signature weapon until now. He feels like Captain America again, and Captain America is going to break outta here.
“Consider this a graduation present, Rogers; for I have decided that you and Barnes are ready to begin. You will be given your mission briefing tomorrow morning on your way to the United States and you will fulfill your instructions exactly, unless you wish your friend to die painfully of course... Now take them back to their rooms - I have preparations to make and I do not wish to be disturbed.”
They're never going to get a better chance than this now that Zola is distracted and Steve already armed. So he catches Bucky's eye as their guards close in around them and when the other man nods his willingness, they attack.
The first soldier goes down in seconds, Steve's shield slamming him to the floor with a dull clang, and the rest of their escort isn't far behind. Bucky throws one man through the wall even as the blond grabs another by the neck, the man's spine snapping like a matchstick beneath his hands. They don't have time for mercy at the moment and from what he's learned about the new Hydra, these soldiers don't deserve it anyway.
“Now! Hurry!” Bucky shouts when the last guard falls, ripping the sleeve away from his metal shoulder so that Steve can work on it. They only have a minute or two before someone notices and the first thing that Zola will do is make his threats reality.
Yet despite the fear rising in his throat, Steve's hands are steady as he twists his fingers through a series of complicated catches until the top panel of Bucky's arm pops off. He's not going to try to remove the poison, that kind of delicate maneuvering would take more time than they have, but the remote commands are all heard by the same central switch. If he can get that loose then Bucky's arm will only have one master, assuming, of course, that nothing else goes wrong.
“Just rip it out already,” the other man demands, his body tense as he watches the entrance at Steve's back. But Steve can't just go ripping things apart if he wants the arm to stay functional and he's pretty sure that he'll trigger something if he doesn't do this right.
After all, Hydra is the type of organization to kill anything it can't control and so the blond forces himself to follow each step carefully. The scientists had only removed the switch once in his presence - due to a malfunction that Bucky caused one evening and Steve had smacked him upside the head when he learned of that risk - but no one had died then so he knows it's possible. Of course, he's only about two thirds of the way through the sequence when the switch suddenly blinks into life and he doesn't have time for caution anymore.
“Shit!” Steve curses, snapping the last few wires as quickly as he can. Then he pulls the mechanism free and stares into the mess of metal as though he could actually tell if something wasn't moving like it should. “How do you feel? I didn't hurt you, did I? Anything feel weird?”
“Well, I'm pretty sure they didn't build my arm to warn me before it kills me, but I don't feel like I'm dying yet. So I guess you managed it, buddy.” Bucky says with a relieved smile, leaning forward to rest his head on Steve's shoulder for a second before they have to fight again. “Now come on, we've got a base to - … Do you hear beeping?”
Steve looks down at the switch in his hand and curses violently because the lights flickering within it can only mean one thing. So he throws it deeper into the vault, grabs Bucky by the waist and leaps through the doorway just as the world explodes. They crash into the floor heavily, the two men curling up beneath the shield as best they can and Steve swears that he feels flames licking at his heels for a moment before the heat recedes.
“I guess they really didn't want you to remove that,” Bucky laughs beneath him, the sort of awkward giggle that comes from the stress of nearly dying yet again. But it makes his eyes crinkle up at the edges and Steve can't resist the urge to kiss him anymore.
So he leans down to press their lips together softly, licking his way into the other man's mouth when Bucky kisses back. He's still the sweetest thing that Steve has ever tasted and he releases those full lips a few moments later with a reluctant sigh.
“All right,” Steve says, shaking his head a bit to clear it as he stands up again. “There'll be time enough for that once we break out of here.”
“Hey, you kissed me, buddy,” Bucky retorts snarkily, though he also accepts Steve's hand to pull himself to his feet. “Now, I can get us most of the way to the surface, but we'll have to improvise from there and I want to take a quick detour along the way. Just remember to watch my six instead of drooling over my ass like I know you want to do.”
Steve moves past him to take point with a smirk and now that Bucky's said it, he can't resist allowing his eyes to roam a bit. In his defense, Bucky's ass is fantastic and his friend is in better shape now than he's been in years.
Three square meals a day probably has something to do with that, he thinks, admiring the muscle that Bucky put on during their imprisonment. Though he can't gawk for too long since alarms are sounding and he soon needs all of his attention in order to stay alive. While Hydra's goons aren't particularly skillful fighters - Zola must really have been counting on Bucky to keep Steve in line - the soldiers have some nasty weapons on their side.
However, the fight gets a little fairer once Bucky swipes some kind of laser off a fallen body and starts wreaking havoc on everything he sees. He seems determined to wipe this base off the map and Steve can't begrudge him his vengeance after everything that happened to them here.
So he just backs his fellow up as they tear through the soldiers like knives through butter and it's almost terrifying how well they fight in sync. Bucky has always known Steve better than anyone and now that their strength is nearly equal, he can follow where his Captain leads.
This is what Steve has always wanted somewhere deep inside his heart. He has wanted someone who can fight at his side instead of in front of or behind him and now that he finally has it, no one is taking this away from him, particularly not Hydra. So his own punches are no less vicious than the ones that Bucky throws.
Things get even more interesting a few minutes later because the detour his friend mentioned passes through the kitchens - which contain technology no less insane than anything else these days but just as flammable as that which Steve remembers - and the explosions start just as they reach the next floor.
“This is as far as I ever made it and your Russian is better than mine; you want to take point now?” Bucky calls back over his shoulder, shooting another guard as he rounds the corner behind Steve.
Then he ducks as the shield flies over his head to take out another group of soldiers, flashing Steve a brilliant feral grin when the other man rushes by. Bucky falls in behind him and they continue down the corridor, Steve stopping at every junction to check the signage on the wall. History isn't the only thing that he's been studying these past months, so their path is a whole lot straighter than his initial rampage was.
Soon they can see daylight in the distance and the pair bursts through one last armored door into a large windowed hall. Or lobby, really, since the décor would look like something from a swank hotel in Paris if not for all the men with guns.
There must be thirty of them, every single weapon trained on Steve and Bucky, but they've come too far to give up now. So they dive behind one of the thick wooden desks as their enemies open fire, bullets and energy beams bouncing off the walls.
“Give it up, Captain. You may have done some damage to my facility, but your escape ends now!” Zola's screams during a pause in the gunfire, the scientist still hoping to keep his experiments.
As if they would ever allow themselves to be used against their country or kill innocents who have done nothing wrong. Fighting soldiers is one thing but Steve will die before he allows Hydra to bring the world to its knees and he sees this same determination in Bucky's eyes.
So he grips his shield tighter when the other man grabs of a chunk of stonework in metal fingers, diving over the desk just as Bucky hurtles it. He follows the missile with a burst of cover fire, a soldier dropping each time his gun goes off. This distraction is enough to get Steve close, the blond sprinting across the marble floor before their enemies can react. By the time they bring their weapons up again, he's in the midst of them and he uses fist and shield to deadly consequence.
Once Bucky joins the fight it's over in a matter of seconds, though Steve is finally breathing hard when he brings the last man down. “I told you Zola. We will never work for you,” he says, spitting blood onto the floor.
He stands there panting as Bucky starts going through the soldiers' pockets, stuffing a mix of bills, IDs and weapons into his fatigues. They'll need whatever they can get to survive in this new century and if they've learned anything from Zola's lessons, it's that money doesn't go far anymore. So Steve leaves Bucky to his scrounging and picks up one of the laser weapons off the floor.
Given the explosions that he's still hearing, their exit did some serious damage, but damage isn't good enough. He wants this place utterly destroyed, nothing left but ghosts and memories, and he fiddles with the weapon's settings until he has something that should work.
Steve waits until Bucky finishes his thieving before switching the laser on, the barrel quickly starting to smoke as it overheats. He hurls this makeshift bomb as deep into the complex as he can and then the two men run toward the outside door.
“There is nowhere that you can go where Hydra will not find you.” Zola screams behind them as they burst into the cool morning air. “I will make it my mission to capture you, to humiliate you as you have done to me, and I will not be so kind next time. Do you hear me, Rogers?! I have going to bathe my circuits in your blood! Rogers! Do you h-”
The scientist keeps ranting even as they run out of earshot, Steve and Bucky hitting the dirt when Hydra's base dissolves into a wall of blue-tinged flame.
“Huh. That worked better than I expected,” Steve says, looking back to see half the mountainside caving in before his eyes. He has no idea where they are and this fight is far from over, but at the moment, he really doesn't care. Because they're free; they're both free and Hydra has no idea what it just unleashed.
Of course, while the blond has always been stubbornly optimistic, Bucky is far more practical and it's he who speaks the obvious. “We can’t go home. That's what Zola will be expecting and they'll be prepared for it.”
“But we also can't run forever, Buck.” Steve argues, the need for action thrumming in his blood. “We have to stop them once and for all so that they can’t keep hurting innocents.”
“I know, Stevie, I know.” Bucky sighs before walking over to place a soft hand on his back. “And we will. But… not yet? Once we start there won’t be any stopping ‘til it’s finished and I’m tired, Steve. I’m tired of fighting all the time. Besides, from what Zola was saying, Hydra won't be prepared to strike for a while and we need to regroup before we do anything.”
How can Steve refuse the other man when he looks so exhausted, covered in dirt and blood and gunpowder residue? To be honest, he doesn't feel much better and there's no point in starting a war when they're in no shape to finish it.
That's just bad strategy, so Steve concedes the argument, looking down at his fellow with a soft smile of his own. “Then we’ll travel. We’ll go somewhere that no one knows us and enjoy our freedom while it lasts. I know I wouldn’t mind having you to myself for a year or two and once we've recovered, we can come up with a plan.”
He knows this was the right answer when the other man leans up to kiss him soundly and he can't stop himself from wrapping his hands round Bucky's waist. Steve pulls them flush together; head already reeling from the feel of his friend pressed against him and his knees wobble when Bucky groans into his mouth. He still can't quite believe that this is happening, that he's allowed to touch and hold and kiss his fill after so many years without. And yet, this must be real because none of his fantasies hold a candle to the feel of Bucky's mouth.
“So, lover, did you have somewhere in mind?” His fellow murmurs when he finally pulls back again, staring up at Steve with lust-blown eyes. “Because I've always wanted to see the Taj Mahal.”
“Then we'll go there, Bucky. We'll go anywhere you want,” Steve promises, tangling their fingers together and pressing his lips to the back of Bucky's hand. The other man flushes at the gesture, cheeks turning rosy under the streaks of grime and a pleased smile dancing on his lips.
“Be careful, Stevie. I might get used to this,” he warns, though if he wanted the blond to take his griping seriously, he should have let go of his hand.
So Steve just smiles and sets off down the hill, figuring that they're bound to run into another person or a town eventually. While they still have far too many obstacles to overcome in the future, it's a beautiful morning and the blond intends to enjoy this second chance. So instead of worrying over things that he can't fix right now, he just tugs on Bucky arm until he's walking at Steve's side where he belongs.
Part II