Thursday the 12th is always the day before Friday the 13th.
Well shit gets good and shit gets bad. Cameron came into my work when I first came in cause he was in the parking lot and we were talking to my boss Harry, and he said if he had either of our lives growing up, he probably wouldn't be able to handle it. Sometimes I don't know how well I can handle it myself, I've only been in this stupid house a week, and already I'm wondering how long this shit is going to last, my mom and stepdad have been fighting and shit, it's rediculous. Hopefully Cameron, Brandon and Aaron are going to be finding a place together and splitting the rent soon, so if shit gets ugly over here, I'll have someplace I can go.
Sometimes I look at everything around me, at what I think I have, and it feels so temporary. Where will I be in a year? In San Diego? In California even? I know there's no way I'm going to stay with my 'family' very long after I turn 18, I just have to get my phone and my car into my name and I'm out. Once that happens, I still don't know exactly what I'm going to do. Am I going to live with my friends in our dream house and party all the time and live our dream life? Is there any way I'll be able to go to Brooks like I've been wanting to? I know I'll never be able to afford it. It just seems like my whole future is so rediculous, nothing I'd like to happen really has a chance of actually turning out right. I'm probably just making a bigger deal out of shit than it is. I feel like I can't handle anything sometimes.
Oh well, life is hard, tough shit.
The key to being an optimist is living in the present (I actually learned something from STAR testing today), and right now things are actually pretty good. Vlada's cousin is having another party, and I can't wait to get retarded. I really really need it right now. School is getting easier because AP tests are over, and the weather is getting warmer since it's almost summer. I really need to ride more though, I feel bad everytime I see my bike in the garage, like I'm neglecting it.
Oh well, let's think about good shit. Here's two good pics from a pretty fun day over at Christian's house.
that's everclear he's drinking, and there's no chasers on that whole block.
Manly!!
Tamir said I'm cute and that he likes me today. He's a weird guy, everybody used to be sure he was gay, but he's just weird. I really suck at taking compliments because I'm really not used to it, so I just kinda turned red and walked away.
I've got some homework I have to do, so I gotta go.
PS I'm sure nobody's going to read this because everybody is too busy reading somebody elses stupid monologues all day *ahem*. I'm such a loser. Does anybody out there want to pretend to be my ex girlfriend who I used to be really serious with? I don't have any real ones.
Sometimes I look at everything around me, at what I think I have, and it feels so temporary. Where will I be in a year? In San Diego? In California even? I know there's no way I'm going to stay with my 'family' very long after I turn 18, I just have to get my phone and my car into my name and I'm out. Once that happens, I still don't know exactly what I'm going to do. Am I going to live with my friends in our dream house and party all the time and live our dream life? Is there any way I'll be able to go to Brooks like I've been wanting to? I know I'll never be able to afford it. It just seems like my whole future is so rediculous, nothing I'd like to happen really has a chance of actually turning out right. I'm probably just making a bigger deal out of shit than it is. I feel like I can't handle anything sometimes.
Oh well, life is hard, tough shit.
The key to being an optimist is living in the present (I actually learned something from STAR testing today), and right now things are actually pretty good. Vlada's cousin is having another party, and I can't wait to get retarded. I really really need it right now. School is getting easier because AP tests are over, and the weather is getting warmer since it's almost summer. I really need to ride more though, I feel bad everytime I see my bike in the garage, like I'm neglecting it.
Oh well, let's think about good shit. Here's two good pics from a pretty fun day over at Christian's house.
that's everclear he's drinking, and there's no chasers on that whole block.
Manly!!
Tamir said I'm cute and that he likes me today. He's a weird guy, everybody used to be sure he was gay, but he's just weird. I really suck at taking compliments because I'm really not used to it, so I just kinda turned red and walked away.
I've got some homework I have to do, so I gotta go.
PS I'm sure nobody's going to read this because everybody is too busy reading somebody elses stupid monologues all day *ahem*. I'm such a loser. Does anybody out there want to pretend to be my ex girlfriend who I used to be really serious with? I don't have any real ones.