Jobsearch Bullshit
Note to self: DO NOT eat before you make jobsearching calls. You'll only get so nervous you'll want to throw it all up.
Thankfully, that didn't happen, but I was close.
Of course the two places I called (a few times), didn't pick up. Thanks guys. It means alot.
This is getting to be a real strain on my mind. I'm ready to give up. Nothing's working, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And with every unanswered email, every un-returned phone call, I feel worse and worse.
My un-motivation has gotten to a point whereby I can't even be bothered trying to self-harm, because I just know I'm going to fuck that up too. Insofar as one can mess-up self harm. I've never considered it an option before, I always thought it was weak, and now that I am, I've no motivation for it. What the hell?
I can't even put up a facade any more to my parents that makes it look like I'm doing something about the job shit.
Two goddamn, retarded, ass-fucked years. Am I really that worthless to the workforce? That I can't even perform menial tasks? Someone always finds a criteria to exclude me from the work. Packing plant? Too small, unable to do heavy lifting. Call centre? Not enough experience. Receptionist? Can't type fast enough. Fast food places? Too old. Adult stores? Too young, even though I'm over 18. And despite the fact that I have experience in retail, I don't even hear back from those guys.
Eww, I have milk breath. I'm gonna go do something to get rid of it.
Thankfully, that didn't happen, but I was close.
Of course the two places I called (a few times), didn't pick up. Thanks guys. It means alot.
This is getting to be a real strain on my mind. I'm ready to give up. Nothing's working, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And with every unanswered email, every un-returned phone call, I feel worse and worse.
My un-motivation has gotten to a point whereby I can't even be bothered trying to self-harm, because I just know I'm going to fuck that up too. Insofar as one can mess-up self harm. I've never considered it an option before, I always thought it was weak, and now that I am, I've no motivation for it. What the hell?
I can't even put up a facade any more to my parents that makes it look like I'm doing something about the job shit.
Two goddamn, retarded, ass-fucked years. Am I really that worthless to the workforce? That I can't even perform menial tasks? Someone always finds a criteria to exclude me from the work. Packing plant? Too small, unable to do heavy lifting. Call centre? Not enough experience. Receptionist? Can't type fast enough. Fast food places? Too old. Adult stores? Too young, even though I'm over 18. And despite the fact that I have experience in retail, I don't even hear back from those guys.
Eww, I have milk breath. I'm gonna go do something to get rid of it.