(no subject)
500. Where is your god now?
501. The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened, but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
502. When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
503. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death.
504. I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
505. You're mad.
No I'm not, I just wasn't breastfed.
506. Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits.
507. Two bitches can get along to whip the ass of a third bitch they hate more than one another.
508. I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it.
509. When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
510. You'll be equally good at a life of community service or a life of subversive criminality.
511. I've had worse. I mean, I know I say that so often, but odds are that I have, and if I haven't, this isn't going to kill me.
512. It's midnight, I'm working, and you just used a lot of big words. Go to bed.
513. Look: "less" is a subjective value.
514. Always a pleasure to spit in the face of natural selection.
515. I'm nearing the end of the first third of my life.
First half. You smoke.
516. Whoa, whoa! We just went from page six to page fifty! And switched books!
517. No one is coming to your funeral.
Three people are coming to my funeral.
518. So the moral is that I won't die alone just because I'm a jerk.
519. Help! I just pulled this out of someone! Can you help me put it back!?
520. I'm sorry I'm not any good at softball. I knocked two people unconscious, though!
521. If you don't, you will join the Legion of Suck as their leader, Captain Sucks Most of All.
522. Oh, look, time for me and all the sharp objects in the apartment to leave.
523. Yeh, you and my mate both seem to have a problem with my sharp things.
524. I just wanted to know how to make paper fuck.
525. You're talking, but all I hear is, "smack the stupid out of me with your spoon".
526. Your desk is so dirty that it's gained sentience.
It has not.
I have not.
See? Two to one.
527. Some things just have to stay unknown.
528. I'm the crying-on-the-inside kind of optimist.
529. What's that you're hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!
530. Shut up or I'll sew your nose shut, and you don't want to know how stupid you'll look with your mouth hanging open all the time.
531. We've got to help ol' Charles Darwin out! He's dead, he needs all the help he can get!
532. Somewhere, the spirit of Darwin weeps bitterly.
533. Look, son, I fucked up. I fuck up a lot. I don't think I've made a smart decision in the past five years. Maybe. I mean, I'm surprised my business isn't bankrupt, yet. So. Uh. There it is. I don't know what the hell else you want from me. An apology? I'm sorry I got you into this mess. Alright, FUCK this nancy bullshit. I OWN you, so you get your scrawny ass down here before I pull your intestines out through your nose!
534. There's shit that I know that you can't even begin to conceive.
535. See, this is where it gets fun.
536. Someday, we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
537. If you're not going to kill us, I have something in the oven that'll be done in a few minutes. Also, I'm about to sodomize that dumbass there.
538. Unintentional acrobatics are the best kind.
539. Tell me a story from the white sands of the moon.
540. When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
541. And you! You take too long to take a shit!
542. No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
543. We are acquaintances who occasionally bump into each other. Naked. With our crotches.
544. She may be a slut, but she's my slut, and I love her.
545. Ah, nothing quite like the violence of a horde of conniving, evil vaginas gnashing their teeth at someone.
546. Confusion is always the most honest response.
547. You are my sweetest downfall.
548. Let us toast to this catastrophe.
549. You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
550. The three hardest things in the world to do are climbing a fence leaning toward you, kissing a girl leaning away from you, and helping those who don't want to be helped.
551. I can count to bunny rabbit.
552. Fucked up and armed to the teeth.
553. Girls with guns. Pissed off girls with guns. Reality check: Do not get involved.
554. There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
555. "I told you so" has a brother. It's name is "shut the hell up."
556. You shouldn't take yourself so seriously.
Don't assume I believe what I say. Sincerity is the most flattering form of irony.
557. A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors.
558. The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection.
559. My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing.
560. In a lesson on teamwork, you beat your partner senseless.
561. To be great is to be misunderstood.
562. Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive.
563. You gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.
564. Oh, spare me your programmed teenaged outrage.
565. Let the cock of science fuck you.
566. To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood.
567. Wouldn't it be easier to just kill me?
Considering how difficult you are to kill--no.
568. It's ten thirty--do you know where your hot chick is?
569. I have admitted more than I needed to.
570. How do you tune two piccolo players?
Kill one.
571. She asked if I was in jail.
That sounds like something my mom would ask.
572. She had the body of a Venus with arms.
573. There has not yet been a toilet that did not fall to him.
574. Those range from moderately terrible to superbly awful.
575. Concrete doesn't have the same give as water.
Unless you're a Saiyan.
576. Goddamn, praise the lord.
577. Memo: Ten pounds of C4 might be excessive.
578. Just kiss 'er!
I wonder how many of the world's problems would be solved if people just listened to that bit of advice.
579. What I'm trying to say is Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you.
580. I've gotten so many IM's from him that I wish I'd never read.
581. Kayleigh is an alcoholic.
Psh, I wish.
582. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
583. If God is our father, then Satan must be our cousin.
584. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
585. I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
586. If I'm not drunk, I've wasted a lot of good alcohol.
587. Don't drunk and do that!
588. Y'know, I'm wasted and I can't find my way home.
589. She wasn't young, but she was conscious.
590. You know what would make you feel better? Substance abuse.
591. Awww, nerd love.
Almost as good as nerd violence.
592. Ladies! Come ride the dragon!
That dragon or your dragon?
Yes.
593. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
594. I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
595. Have I failed to mention that I get mean when I'm upset? 'cos I do.
596. Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
597. Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.
598. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
599. I have a plan.
We aren't murdering anyone.
Okay, then I don't have any ideas.
600. Ooops. Looks like someone switched to big-boy pants a little too early.
601. Take that off.
What?
Fine coat like that and you're bleedin' all over it.
602. All kinds of death is about to hit not twenty yards away and I still can't keep my eyes off her.
603. Oh, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.
604. She doesn't quite cut his head off. Makes a pez dispenser out of him.
605. Shut up. You're dead. Dead people don't talk.
606. Dead people do not just get up and start eating people.
607. There's nothing like having your friends show up with lots of guns.
608. We hit this Tomb Raider moment where none of the fucking keys work and all the doors are locked.
609. You are my witness, my eyes, my evidence.
610. I'm the sort of person that would trash a hotel room--and then clean it up.
611. It's like watching a fourteen-year-old fumble with a girl's belt-buckle. Not there yet, but will be there eventually.
612. I'm forty-three, single, and I sit at home a lot. I wasn't supposed to fuck up quite so much.
613. If there is a god, and I ever meet him--I am going to kick him in the balls over and over.
614. Aren't virgins supposed to be ideal sex?
Well, see, this particular virgin seems to have been parented by a pencil sharpener and a vice grip.
615. That's my dad's cruel joke on the world.
616. I just remembered-- I have to run screaming from the room.
617. He wanted to rip out his very soul. The only reason he didn't was because he wasn't entirely sure he knew how to rip out souls.
618. And is it true that devils end up like you, something safe for the picture frame?
619. I find that I perform best while suffering extreme terror.
620. Virtue is its own punishment.
621. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow, we die.
622. Christianity is the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
623. I'm going to help you find your inner warrior!
Good luck. I think he's watering his prize tulips.
624. Unlike you, I actually need help setting myself on fire.
625. It's mine, and if you touch it, the vengeance I will reap will leave your soul in shreds.
626. Was it painful, having your soul removed?
627. The moon is sick and pale with grief that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
628. I don't know what I'm doing.
I admire how little that stops you.
629. Don't try to understand people with power, son. It causes lobe damage.
630. You're specifically forbidden to bring hamster powered lasers into the White House?
That's because of my mom....
631. Is there something wrong with me?
Yes. That's why we're friends.
632. Oh, but you didn't taste this waffle.
633. True enlightenment is not for the squeamish.
634. Someday, you are going to be very successful at something very stupid.
635. Experts in four different religious traditions have told me that you're cosmic retribution for my own childhood.
636. The truly enlightened can find the universe under a cherry.
637. He had a theory that the religious life, and all the agony that goes with it, is just something God sics on people who have the gall to accuse Him of having created an ugly world.
638. Stop riding the thermonuclear device.
639. Enlightenment, son, has been described as neither existence nor non-existence, a state that cannot be talked about or comprehended.
So... like that time I drank pepto bismol?
640. Mom, if that thing I lost turns up in here, it is one of the non-poisonous varieties.
641. Huh. I really don't understand law.
Yeah, I've noticed.
642. You mean the rules are made by people whose brains don't work?
Adults like to call this "democracy".
643. I'd give my left nut to see that again.
644. Get me a fellow-creature bludgeoning device.
645. Eccentric? Perhaps, but who could be better dinner company? He makes opening a door--an act of clumsy, outmoded chivalry for most guys--into a humble expression of egalitarian respect. He orders in whatever language is called for. His dining recommendations have yet to miss. A hard day in court fades away as I observe the elegance with which he does ordinary things. Then he looks into my eyes across the candle and says, "You know, dragon boogers are much larger than mammal boogers." The flaw that makes the masterpiece.
646. You'll find the place you belong.
I don't want to belong.
Home.
Oh.
647. If you want to see me naked, you'll have to offer me candy and cigarettes like everyone else.
648. I hate snow. I hate people that like snow. I hate being out in snow. I hate people causing me being out in snow. I also hate papaya, which is besides the point, being that I hate snow.
649. Just a precaution- make sure he's dead.
650. Remember to get your whole head in front of the shotgun. Thank you for calling!
651. I will be the one to hold you down and kiss you so hard that you will never want another one.
652. I should dissect your arm while it's still attached.
653. Much of the social history of the Western world for the last three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good at the time.
654. Get off your fuckin' cross. We need the fuckin' space to nail the next one up.
655. I am a beast, I am, and if my teeth and claws can't keep my skin whole, it isn't worth keeping.
656. Sounds flammable.
657. Oops, I got it right!
658. Rain. Quencher of forest fires, lifeblood of crops, delayer of sporting events. It completes water's cyclical journey from ocean to atmosphere and back to earth. The merest hint of it and we cancel our plans, as in, "let's stay home, it looks like rain." Of course. For some, it's just an excuse to dance naked in puddles.
659. I like to go to bed knowing every night knowing I haven't done anything to make the world any worse.
660. Surely you've noticed that most I do is extremely strange.
661. I'm just getting over the idea that this stuff happens to you without my directly causing it.
662. Never do anything phenomenally stupid.
663. I wasn't--I was laughing in terror!
664. It's like trying to find a needle in a stack full of needles!
665. That charmingly bossy tone is why he's not getting anymore drugs. They bring out this megalomaniacal streak in him.
Yeeeah, that's... that's not the drugs.
666. That wasn't a euphemism, so take your hand out of your pants.
For your information, I was scratching myself. Not everything is about you.
667. I'm here to poke you where it hurts.
668. I wanted to hear you beg me to save your life. That's why I became a white mage.
669. Is there a white mage in the audience?
670. Don't fuck with the man in charge of your pain meds, son.
671. I bet I just made my oncoming beating even worse.
Nah. I was gonna put the brass knuckles on anyway.
672. I always knew it would end like this. Never pictured you in that hat, though.
673. Fuck you all to hell.
674. Given the chance, I would happily dance on the grave of the world.
675. Never underestimate the power of a sick mind.
676. You half asleep or just stupid?
677. Don't ask- it was messy.
678. If you don't let him in, Mom, the terrorists win.
679. Round and round the monkey goes, and if he stops, then off with his nose!
680. I saw the lightning strike foreshadowing your arrival, and I thought it'd be someone creepy.
I didn't do that.
Then who did?
... hi, Mom.
681. My dad says that exploding ducks are a good omen.
682. I'm sorry I tried to raise the dead, darling.
It's okay. I know it's not like you to use your sexy intellect for evil.
683. One of the professors in your university is playing with space-time concepts that no human mind should ever know. I'm here to encourage her. And if all goes well? Nuclear winter!
I don't know him, but I think I love him a little.
684. Your friends are so weird.
685. Tender! Three beers! And I don't know what these other two are having.
686. You forgive me, I give you a hand job.
Sex fixes nothing.
You'll feel better!
I would ejaculate hot burning hatred. I would aim for your eyes. I would make a point to.
687. I was thinking, "Why doesn't this form have tentacles? I love tentacles!" and here I am.
688. Act surprised or I'm going to strangle you with your intestines.
689. ...My mom slipped my boyfriend a roofie. Just when I think I'm well-adjusted.
He should learn to have his problems at a sane hour.
690. Thank you for the crispy human strips.
Bacon, dear. It's bacon.
Actually, dear, you remember how you told me to get rid of that one corpse?
691. I need advice!
I... think... you... should... eat her brain.
692. Do you have emotions?
No. I had them surgically removed at age twelve. It makes playing Sudoku and eating puppies much easier.
693. Howl for me, baby.
694. I want to lay my kill at your feet.
695. There are three types of people to us--family to protect, bitches to sex up, and prey.
696. He met the lady in the garden to bargain for her purity.
She said, "I'll take you to bed, if you give me knowledge instead."
He said, "Who'd have guessed you'd tempt me?"
697. A woman that drives that slowly must be searching for her clitoris.
698. Do you even know what that word means?
I know you were doin' it!
699. Most people don't associate stalking with romance.
700. I knew nothing good would come from cheap eggs.
701. With all due respect--Mrawr, ma'am.
702. You are young, you will learn.
703. Plus, it's the noble thing to do.
Fuck nobility, I'm gonna hit it with a rock.
704. If it bleeds, I can kill it.
705. So many questions, so little desire to ask any of them.
706. Let me be the one to talk to these people, I know how to communicate with them-- I've been on cops.
707. When you stop fearing the monster under your bed, you turn into it.
708. The universe is cocking its fuck-with-me-gun.
709. Feelings of love are just a temporary lapse in judgment.
710. I don't mind that you're researching serial killers. It's when you giggle that I get nervous.
711. It's the only time acting crazy gives me good results.
712. The room did not win.
713. It's kind of like a fat kid not having to get up off the couch kind of happy.
714. I never said "phantom."
Oh, excuse me, what would you say then? Spirits, ghosts, entities?
I don't know what's in there. It's an evil fucking room.
715. Best weapon for hand to hand combat is a sock with a brick in it.
716. You say "'erbs" and we say "herbs", because there's a fucking aich in it.
717. I am going to eviscerate you. With. My. Hat.
718. Before ya leave, let me present you with a wilted flower intended to incur your pity and love.
But--I don't--! ...Bloody hell. It's ugly and in need of love. Like you.
719. I don't like being a Gemini, but I like being a Gemini.
720. You're our friend.
You just tried to kill me!
Show of love, 'round here.
721. I have a job for you. It's not illegal, but it may be fatal.
In that case, it depends on the pay.
722. When the gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers.
723. What are you doing?
Electroshock therapy.
Can I watch?
724. Alright, everybody, pretend to be normal!
725. I'm not asking you to be normal. I'm asking you to be a little smarter about your crazy.
726. I've got you under my skin.
727. How wild are we getting tonight?
I brought bail money.
728. We're out to make boys cry or get arrested.
729. Her skin drew me in just like a magnet--Little girl, my little world is yours.
730. Don't worry about your health. It'll go away.
731. If only you had been born a little earlier when the world was freer.
732. I cut off both your wings on principle alone.
733. Play is play and fun is fun, but it all gets quiet when the goldfish dies.
734. It's not my fault I've got bad karma.
735. Humans would be a lot less crazy if they had a natural predator.
736. With great power comes the ability to cause one helluva mayhem.
737. If you can't take the heat, die faster.
738. Life is like a meat grinder. You only get out of it what you put in, but by then it's usually a bloody mess.
739. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
740. Women- you can't live with them, you can't... Well, no, that's pretty much it.
741. A good friend would bail you out of jail. Your best friend would be in jail with you going "MAN, that was fucking AWESOME!"
742. Yeah, it was something that crazy voice in my head said.
743. I believe the word you're looking for is AAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!
744. Oh, right, I'm killing you. I'm sorry, I got distracted.
745. Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
746. We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.
747. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
748. Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
749. If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
750. I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
751. I am not young enough to know everything.
752. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
753. A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
754. The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.
755. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
756. Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
757. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
758. Only the shallow know themselves.
759. The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
760. Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
761. I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.
762. One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.
763. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.
764. He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
765. He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.
766. In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
767. The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
768. Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
769. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
770. What am I supposed to do with him? I can't carry him!
Don't they teach you kids anything in health class anymore?
What are you talking about?
Take a look around. The birds, the bees the flowers and the trees.
I'm not that kind of girl, Botan!
I know a certain diary-reading kitten who says other wise! Meow!
771. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
772. You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
773. The Christian religion is a very powerful and convincing mistake.
774. Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
775. When I finish reading, I'm going to kick your ass.
776. I've got my rape hat on, Honey, but I always could accessorize.
777. Space is big. You won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
778. Your perversions are coming into a disturbing focus.
779. Could you stop smiling? It's disturbing the time-space continuum and slowing down my watch.
780. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
781. A clean desk is a sign of a messy drawer.
782. We are the kind of good Christians who rebuke those who do not obey the rules.
783. Only the faithless know love's tragedies.
784. They don't laugh at jokes, they laugh at tragedies.
785. Adventure is just bad planning.
786. I didn't copy you, you did it for me.
787. Got his head so far up his fuckin' ass that lump in his throat is his goddamned nose.
788. The very butcher of a silk button.
789. I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
790. The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
791. I wouldn't want you to think of me as invincible. So just call it virtually invincible instead.
792. Weeps for the wicked.
793. After first arriving on earth, he came up with a theory that if humans didn't talk all the time, their mouths would freeze up. Shortly after that, he abandoned that theory for a theory saying that if humans didn't talk all the time, their brains would start working.
794. So you say you're under a curse? So what, so's the whole damn world.
795. Laws are like sausages. It's best not to see them made.
796. An undead monkey. Top that.
797. I love those breaking noises.
798. Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.
799. Where is that monkey, I want to shoot something.
800. The people's revolution is going to be a podcast.
801. So break the bruised monogamy and let him fade to memory. Your erotic, wet, atomic eyes keep reoccurring in my mind. Do me a favor please, and touch your lips to mine.
802. I want out, I want to escape the human role. I wanna melt down the mold.
803. It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.
804. I greatly desire a word with you.
Don't you mean "Hold the fuck still and let me bitch at you"?
805. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
806. I've been sane too long.
807. Do it in the name of heaven, you'll be justified in the end.
808. The last thing I remember, I was going somewhere, and then the stop sign got in the way.
809. I'm gazing on eternity and floating on serenity.
810. I love him, I really do, but every time I see him, I feel the need to cause him bodily harm.
811. If you ever even attempt at thinking something so vile again, I'll have your balls so quick you'll be singing notes even dogs can't hear!
812. "Normal" is for those who can't do any better.
813. Caught between emptiness and eternity.
814. I've done worse, and I plan to do more.
815. I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
816. Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
817. No human thing is of serious importance.
818. The more I study religions, the more I am convinced that man has never worshipped anything but himself.
819. Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love.
820. Someone's boring me. I think it's me.
821. Scientific studies have proven that humans will kill everything.
822. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
823. Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back.
824. The cat could very well be man's best friend, but they'd never stoop to admitting it.
825. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
826. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
827. Every hero becomes a bore at the end.
828. Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
829. In order to be great, you need to see what great is, then follow it with all your heart.
830. Gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.
831. I'd rather have my intestines pulled out.
832. Jealousy is the most sincere form of flattery.
833. I love you with all the madness in my soul.
834. Poetry is the highest form of self-deception.
835. You know you can't read.
It's the bible, you get credit for trying.
836. What explosion?
837. Jesus is in the backseat and he's booing me.
838. Last four days on earth? If I could do it, I'd get some.
Well, we can do the next best thing.
Huh?
Kill people.
839. Complete strangers are my best friends.
840. A being neither human nor beast, looking for his place in this world.
841. Large chance of death... small chance of success.... What're we waiting for?
842. I'm not crazy, but I think that voice in my head might be.
843. Taking over the world is so passé. But taking over the universe...
844. There's nothing worse than being soaked in your own vomit.
That's my vomit.
I spoke too soon.
845. Look what I found!
Where?
In a coffin buried in a graveyard.
Usually, I find your childlike innocence cute, but this is just creepy.
846. What did I tell you about messing around with the walking undead!
847. I got hit by a car.
Ouch.
It was a 66 mustang convertible.
COOOOOL!
848. I'd never hurt another living thing. But if I did, it would be you.
849. Seriously, what is war good for?
Getting re-elected.
God help us.
850. Poison... throwing stars... hatchet...
School supplies?
851. What's so fun about peace, love, and understanding?
852. What do you want for Christmas?
A new dress that isn't red. A machine gun. And world peace.
853. If they made a list of the top ten most disgusting places on earth, at least six of them would be men's restrooms.
854. I feel like our electoral system is flawed. That's why I don't vote. Plus, I'm a convicted felon. And too young.
855. What will happen to me when I die?
You? Eternal damnation.
Sweet!
856. This is the most dead I've ever been.
857. I blacked out and then my kitten was gone.
You are way more messed up than I thought.
858. That's it, my head as a trampoline is where I draw the line!
859. Adding injury to injury.
860. So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?
861. Kick-ass things come in short packages, too.
862. Sorry, but blood can only run so thick.
863. Who shit in your pants this evening?
864. Rugby? Like the sport?
I like to think of it as an inspiration. It's the closest humans get to recreational pain.
865. I had a dream last night.
Was she hot?
866. Built like a brick shithouse.
867. Ready for fresh injuries.
868. I thought I was crazy, but you take the prize. What the hell was that!? You don't make bombs go boom in your face!
869. They're as afraid to look up as we are to look down.
870. They'll save their murder attempts for tomorrow.
871. Useful as tits on a boar.
872. This is like fighting a brick. How many times do I have to throw you around?
873. Well, there are worse endings.
874. I'm surrounded by imbeciles. They mean well, I suppose.
875. Oh, but it's not as much fun if she doesn't scream.
876. It's fun to do the impossible.
877. You do too have ears!
878. We'll be lost before the dawn.
879. Well, I'm a wicked young lady, but I've been trying hard, lately- aw, fuck it, I'm a monster, I admit it.
880. I can take anything you throw at me, and if I can't, I'll learn how.
881. Mother used to say, if you want you'll find a way, but mother never danced through fire's shadow.
882. I hate it when she looks at me like that. She does it on fucking purpose, man.
883. Now it's Rorschach and Prozac and everything's groovy!
884. Those flames really roared when the wind started blowing.
885. Back to the criminal set, but they can't catch me, yet.
886. It is a rule to suffer for the sake of love.
887. She feels like kicking out all the windows and setting fire to this place.
888. Given the capacity to be stupid, people will be.
889. I could see my downfall in those eyes, but I didn't care. I was in love.
890. Death is a worry of the living. The dead like myself only worry about decay and necropheliacs.
891. I'm hearing voices but all they do is complain.
892. I guess we'll have to knock 'em all out!
Just don't hit too hard, I hate crippling civilians.
Are these two serious?
893. If you find anything, make a noise we'll all hear, so either scream or blow something up.
894. And now... the end...
895. He looks really girly the first time he gets blown up.
896. You must've been dreaming.
897. Sanity? I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place.
898. You must be compensating for something abysmal.
899. I can't accept this. I value our friendship and all we've been through, but... I don't like you that way.
900. Why is he stabbing the ground instead of the other guy? The last time I checked, the ground doesn't bleed nearly as much as a person!
901. I know as much of games as I do hugs and puppies, and I care for them even less.
902. Where your beauty lies, so does my demise.
903. I don't really want what I want! No one does!
904. Stray
905. Get your philosophy from a bumper sticker.
906. Was it you that set out for paradise?
907. Everyday should be a good day to die.
908. I feel like the ugly one at the dance.
909. I think it's perfectly clear, we're in the wrong band.
910. Just don't retch. If you retch, my feelings are gonna be hurt.
911. I did it, do you think I've gone too far?
912. All you people are the skewers of our dreams.
913. I live on the corner of Gray Street and the end of the world.
914. All my screams whispering out.
915. It's such a waste to live and die for the dreams of our fathers.
916. Smoking my inspiration.
917. Championship goose flesh, baby!
918. Hiding from some poisoned memory.
919. Disconnect and self-destruct one bullet at a time.
920. Bullshit. Bullshit. Uber bullshit.
921. They were right about you.
922. Now to pull your halo down around your neck and tug you off your cloud.
923. Gun-shy martyr
924. I'm alright, I tell myself twice in the mirror 'fore I can't go to sleep at night. I need a lullaby, I need some time, I need to find my way back home.
925. There's nothing you can give me.
926. What's your name?
927. And won't they miss you when you're gone?
928. The best answers, we get on our own.
929. Note to self- learn to shut mouth.
930. Who's my all grown up little cabbage?
931. I just died in your arms. It must have been something you said.
932. Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.
933. Got enough guilt to start my own religion.
934. Where are those angels when you need 'em?
935. She called me up and said, "You know that I'm drowning."
936. Tell me what the rain knows.
937. I'm going to break your nose off and shove it up your ass so you're stuck smelling shit for years to come.
938. Just ignore the smoke and smile.
939. Survival of the fittest is the law of the land. To fool and be fooled is the reason we live.
940. I've never had anything good happen to me when I trust others.
941. As your leader, I encourage you from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you, and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is, I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!
I didn't think so.
942. Don't fear anything but you.
943. Blood-spattered angel.
944. If you see a stranger, follow him.
945. And I curl up in some corner of a lost reality and dream what's left of my life away.
946. I know you hear me, I can taste it in your tears.
947. You always did prefer the drizzle to the rain.
948. Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos, your reality.
949. Is it all just a dream?
Yeah. Just a dream.
950. The mind has already forgotten what the body still misses.
951. What you don't know can kill you.
952. He looked at me and he said, "I'm not afraid to die." I said, "I don't find that even remotely funny."
953. Indestructible.
954. When I was walking up the stairs, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again, today. I wish, I wish, he'd go away.
955. I wants me gold, y'dig?
956. Failing miserably to rescue sleeping beauty.
957. Urge to destroy world rising.
958. Where will you go, now you've no home?
959. Why?
960. Why not?
961. Step away from the window and go back to sleep.
962. In the devil's playground with an idle mind.
963. Son of a- [BOOOOOOOM!]
964. Smells like bad meat or really good cheese.
965. Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to.
966. I love children, and I think I'll have one. On TOAST.
967. You depend on our protection, yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth.
968. Hello, Mr. Zebra, can I have you sweater, 'cos it's cold, cold, cold in my hole, hole, hole.
969. This is what I am, I am a man, so come and dance with me, Michael.
970. I'll tell you, instead of being alone in a group, it's better to have real solitude, all by yourself.
971. And you will shed tears of scarlet.
972. Those living for death shall die by their own hand.
973. Whose idea was all this anyway?
974. But why would you say that I am mad?
975. You'll have the rest of your lives to think about this. And I suggest you think quickly, for a long life is never guaranteed.
976. Playin' solitaire 'til dawn with a deck of fifty one.
977. Your halo's slipping down to choke you now.
978. Little angel, go away, come again some other day. The devil has my ear today, I'll never hear a word you say.
979. Asunder
980. Hold on to nothing as fast as you can.
981. Dishes take baths, not showers.
982. I'd rather be on my own.
983. It's not that I don't like you, you just bother me.
984. How'd you like to know what it's like?
985. Your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel.
986. Flocking like sharks to an open wound.
987. Let your tears wash away your last days.
988. Bang
989. Without a home, do you have a heart?
990. We're the ones who're actually alive.
991. Go ahead. Shoot me.
992. I think I know, I don't think I know, I don't think I think I know, I don't think I think.
993. She's so sweet with that 'get-back' stare.
994. Angel of Hell
995. Devil of Heaven
996. Powdered eggs?!?!?!
997. I do not fear death. Death is merely a dream, a dream in silence, a dream that lasts for an eternity.
998. To the point of tears
999. Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
1000. They ask me if I feel remorse, and I answer, 'Why, of course! There's so much more I coulda done if they'd'a let me!'