(no subject)
I'm sad. Just sad. not much of a reason. or maybe I'm scared I'm losing all the friends I worked so hard to make last year. I miss Josh. I miss Allie most of all though. I never see her. never. I have to wait till the end of the day when I'm tired and washed out. but no, mallall gets to have a class with allie. at least I have Jess and Jen still. thank god. and of course Napoleon in 3 of my classes to keep me on my feet. he's quite cute. god I just miss everyone. I'd even re-take suzanne foster just to have last semester classes back. I just miss.
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you had just woke up
And you said "this is the first day of my life
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"
So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Then waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me
I always wonder where my life is pulling me. and whether I'm going to survive it. and I wish school were as easy as it is right now. I had a horrible dream last night... it was dark and rainy/snowy like it was the other night and my mom came into the hallway where I was standing and told me my dad and younger brother had died in a car crash or something. actually I'm not sure if she told me they had died or that they were on the edge of death because I started crying and my mom hugged me and said "we can only hope now" and I guess that means that they were still alive but going through massive surgery and what not. I didn't know what to do. but it was weird because it was like I didn't even have an older brother in that dream. like there was never a thought that crossed my mind that I had and older brother. ANYWAYS...I fell back asleep quite quickly and had another dream...it again was snowy or whatever and I was dating Justin Arena again. (I think he is in this one because I was looking and Kelsey's pictures last night and lea and justin were in many of them). anyways..we were dating or something and he came over to eat dinner with my family and then he left. and then later that night he came back in his SUV (because he has in lisense now) and he threw rocks at my window and I came out to meet him, and right before we kissed, I woke up. I think this is due to the fact that I havn't kissed anyone in a good 4 months. I guess I don't remember them anymore. haha way to go beth. don't I just suck. well there ya have it...an entry to live by. enjoy reading that...it's a bit tidious.
[[_]]lOvE[[_]]