Sit in the chair and be good now..
I'm not real sure what I'm doing with my life right now. Everythings trying to go in different directions, and trying to split me appart in the process!
In my health/ hygiene:
I've started a diet now b/c I know that i'm really too lazy to bring myself to exercising as much as would be needed to lose my desired weight. Not to say I haven't exercized, but more that its the diet that I've been paying the more attention to. I keep low calories, fat, and carb intake, and i will only allow myself 3 meals a day. Its not going too bad nowadays but the first few days were a BITCH!
BTW, its not a good thing to try to start a diet off on the same day you're staying up all night doing school work. Last week i went through a period where i only slept 4 hrs in two days. and didn't eat much either. its no wonder that when i finally got drunk as hell i PUKED!
Also decided on getting back into my make-up routine. I'm gonna fix my hair like it was last summer, and start dressing up more often. I'm tired of looking like a fucking nerd/guy/fat ass/whatever else u can think of. No matter what PEOPLE think, i'll wear what i see fit.
School/insurance/job:
ahhhh, all the things u don't wanna do, and deff. don't wanna hear about. well lets start off with insurance. i have no health insurance anymore, which means of course that i would find that i'm starting to get a toothache, ow... Also i'm supposedly moving into the trailor down on our farm, but not really, b/c that place sucks, but all my mail will go there and shit like that, b/c i'm claiming myself as an independent and i'm applying for financial aid. i hope i find out about it b4 its too late. also about the insurance/therapist thing, i have to go to the VA and get some sample meds until i get back on the insurance. and the only way i can get back on it, is if i become a full time student which is why im turning in the financial aid...blah..blah..blah, see where i'm going here?
as far as the job part ::laughs:: yeah right!
oh umm, well i actually probably need to start looking b/c its quite possible that kevin could lose his any day now. whether he quits or gets fired, his district manager and kniving little assistant manager are trying to get rid of him. so one of us has to start looking for one!
Drinking/Drugs/and the like:
well i'm proud to say that i haven't smoked in a LONG time. well for me at least, considering i've had a chance a couple times, and that i've been stressed lately. i haven't really even drunk that much, and the last time i did was very recently, in which i got sick from whiskey, beer, and no food....coulda had something to do with kevins driving too...
im doing damn good about the munchies when under influences too!
My Creative Outlets:
here recently i've been trying my damnedest to get some kind of idea or inspiration for my ending photography project. i've thought about the decay/death thing. but i don't have much time for it. then i thought about the erotica, but don't really have enough to work with to perfect it. also ive kinda found myself crawling back towards the dead baby doll thing. and serial killer, mental institute, expressions, murder, beauty, and trapped woman...
i have NO IDEA what im doing! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ok over that...
Social life:
not one really. we've hung out with ben and jd a lot lately, but except for that its pretty much been just me and kevin inseperable for a while. i love it sometimes, but sometimes i cant even find time for myself. it seems like things are kinda starting to regress with us, which is not a good thing, and other people just now realizing their own problems and then realizing things from the past dosent help. im not pointing fingers, im not blaming, but goddamn sometimes the past just stay what it is? the past?
In my health/ hygiene:
I've started a diet now b/c I know that i'm really too lazy to bring myself to exercising as much as would be needed to lose my desired weight. Not to say I haven't exercized, but more that its the diet that I've been paying the more attention to. I keep low calories, fat, and carb intake, and i will only allow myself 3 meals a day. Its not going too bad nowadays but the first few days were a BITCH!
BTW, its not a good thing to try to start a diet off on the same day you're staying up all night doing school work. Last week i went through a period where i only slept 4 hrs in two days. and didn't eat much either. its no wonder that when i finally got drunk as hell i PUKED!
Also decided on getting back into my make-up routine. I'm gonna fix my hair like it was last summer, and start dressing up more often. I'm tired of looking like a fucking nerd/guy/fat ass/whatever else u can think of. No matter what PEOPLE think, i'll wear what i see fit.
School/insurance/job:
ahhhh, all the things u don't wanna do, and deff. don't wanna hear about. well lets start off with insurance. i have no health insurance anymore, which means of course that i would find that i'm starting to get a toothache, ow... Also i'm supposedly moving into the trailor down on our farm, but not really, b/c that place sucks, but all my mail will go there and shit like that, b/c i'm claiming myself as an independent and i'm applying for financial aid. i hope i find out about it b4 its too late. also about the insurance/therapist thing, i have to go to the VA and get some sample meds until i get back on the insurance. and the only way i can get back on it, is if i become a full time student which is why im turning in the financial aid...blah..blah..blah, see where i'm going here?
as far as the job part ::laughs:: yeah right!
oh umm, well i actually probably need to start looking b/c its quite possible that kevin could lose his any day now. whether he quits or gets fired, his district manager and kniving little assistant manager are trying to get rid of him. so one of us has to start looking for one!
Drinking/Drugs/and the like:
well i'm proud to say that i haven't smoked in a LONG time. well for me at least, considering i've had a chance a couple times, and that i've been stressed lately. i haven't really even drunk that much, and the last time i did was very recently, in which i got sick from whiskey, beer, and no food....coulda had something to do with kevins driving too...
im doing damn good about the munchies when under influences too!
My Creative Outlets:
here recently i've been trying my damnedest to get some kind of idea or inspiration for my ending photography project. i've thought about the decay/death thing. but i don't have much time for it. then i thought about the erotica, but don't really have enough to work with to perfect it. also ive kinda found myself crawling back towards the dead baby doll thing. and serial killer, mental institute, expressions, murder, beauty, and trapped woman...
i have NO IDEA what im doing! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ok over that...
Social life:
not one really. we've hung out with ben and jd a lot lately, but except for that its pretty much been just me and kevin inseperable for a while. i love it sometimes, but sometimes i cant even find time for myself. it seems like things are kinda starting to regress with us, which is not a good thing, and other people just now realizing their own problems and then realizing things from the past dosent help. im not pointing fingers, im not blaming, but goddamn sometimes the past just stay what it is? the past?