(no subject)
I don't like winter. Its depressing. Sometimes I seriously think I have SAD....seasonal affective disorder. I'm always sad during the winter. I nearly cried for no reason today. I have a hard time sleeping and Im tired all of the time. I have no energy. It doesn't help that I don't like where Im at. I want to be in Lexington. No its not just because of Derrick. My friends are there. I feel like Im home when I go to Lexington. Im happy there. Right now Im in such a fragile mood that I think nearly anything could upset me and Derrick isnt answering his phone....he is asleep Im sure because he always falls asleep after he works early. But I just want to hear his voice. It really does help me sleep better at night. I hope we work out. I know some of you dont like him and after reading my journals I dont blame you but keep in mind I nearly only write when Im mad or upset. I dont take the time to write when Im happy. Those moments I keep. The bad moments I have to get out. Yes he does frustrate the hell out of me and Im not used to not always getting my way like I did with Clay. I think he and I both have some things to work on but I hope we can do that together. I just want a partner in life ya know. Someone to hug me and hold me when I need it. Someone to see the crazy that I am and not be scared off. lol all this crazy pouring out of me now. Its the SAD! lol I just want to be happy and loved.