The 40 Year Old Virgin?
So tonight we sat down and saw The 40 Year Old Virgin...and I'm telling you...I don't think I've ever laughed so hard, or so much, for any other movie. The scene would change and I'd still be laughing. The jokes were very sexual, very in your face, but in a kinda refined way. This isn't American Pie or anything here...it's not gross or anything, but just funny.
Case in point, in one scene, they're showing why the title character didn't lose his virginity in the past. one scene shows him with the girl, she's pretty enough, get the bra off of her...with much difficulty. And she's like, "I'm going to suck your big...thick..." And he leans back and she says, "...Toe." And his eyes just go WIDE. And she just starts like...erotically...sucking his toe...and he's just sitting there STARING...very funny...and then she tickles him by her sucking and he KICKS HER IN THE FACE...blood everywhere.
SO Funny.
I could never watch the movie with the folks, of course. There's too much swearing. It's too vivid. It's too...real. I mean...this is the way real people talk and behave about sex. YES there are guys who go for the drunk chicks. ("I mean a REAL DRUNK chick here Andy...I'm looking for vomit in the hair.") But what's so great about it is that the movie doesn't glorify that kind of stuff. It presents it. Some characters would go for that, but they're not still virgins now, are they? No...Andy ( the main character) is looking for something different.
At first, Andy reminded me of my friend Kurt. I laughed at how the social awkwardness and stiffness reminded me of my old friend. But when I stopped to think about it, about mid-way through the movie...Andy had morphed into me. I had the social awkwardness with women, sure. It only comes out every once in a while now. (Like that girl at work. OH MY GOD. I was RETARDED around her.) But watching Andy in his early relationships stage...that's where I feel I still am.
That surprised look on his face when he gets kissed...I still get that. It still surprises me when I get kindness back or interest back.
This was all quite unsettling to me to think about. I hate weakness in myself. (Same as what you said, Karleen.) And I hate to think of myself still getting all giddy because a girl gave me her number, or touched me, or heaven forbid, kissed me.
And the steps Andy went through, I liked, a lot. Dating and getting physical, getting to that step slowly. Most relationships for me, either we jump right in, diving into the pool without water... ;) or it's a struggle for me, continually trying to do things with them and impress them to bide myself 'worthy' of their affection.
So I dunno. Maybe all guys could relate to the movie, and that's why it sold so well. But I've NEVER been able to see a girl I considered pretty, just start talking about nothing, and like, get her number. Not really. I've never been able to 'pick up' women, either. And I don't think it's that I'm unattractive or anything, not really. (When I"m DOWN I sure do though!) I think it's because I'm like Andy. I consider sex a specialy thing, something I want to share with someone I care about. (Maybe not necessarily relationship-wise as much. I love relationships, but I'm also open to a little bit of openness at the begining and stuff.) Regardless, every woman I've tried to sleep with, I've wanted to sleep with, I liked.
None of this, 'bagging' chicks, planting seeds BS.
I want to share myself, all of myself with someone. I want to wake up next to someone I can smile at. I want a person to challenge me, who's as smart and funny and whatever as me, and challenge me to be even more of what I can be, what she sees IN me. I want, as I said once, to feel again like, "being a better man" for that person.
So I guess like Andy...I just have to wait. Hopefully I'm not forty, with my hair falling out and things going wrong with my body!
Thinking about it in retrospect...if I hadn't lost my virginity the way I had, would I still be in Andy's boat? Being with a women helped me a lot, it boosted my self esteem. I felt accomplished sexually, that not only did a woman want to be involved with me sexually, but that I DID A GOOD JOB. Who would have thought a guy who grew up in such a sexually repressed household, would be told by all his partners that he was very good, and by some, the best? *Scratches his head* I guess twenty-some years without anything, and begin a writer, I had a bit of creativity and plans to it all??? Seriously though, I mean, at least I gave it up with someone I cared for. It could have always been worse...always.
I know one thing though...I'm not giving up on my new years resolution. I'm not going to care about women stuffs anymore. If things go my way, great. But none of this giving all my attention to women who make up excuses not to be with me. Since I've already said, if I want to sleep with you, you're special to me, and you turn that down, then I guess I'm just not special enough for you, and I can move along. No more of this dumping emotional junk on me, dragging me down with your emotional baggage, and then dropping the hammer and slamming me into 'friend land'.
...
I'd rather play video games.
Case in point, in one scene, they're showing why the title character didn't lose his virginity in the past. one scene shows him with the girl, she's pretty enough, get the bra off of her...with much difficulty. And she's like, "I'm going to suck your big...thick..." And he leans back and she says, "...Toe." And his eyes just go WIDE. And she just starts like...erotically...sucking his toe...and he's just sitting there STARING...very funny...and then she tickles him by her sucking and he KICKS HER IN THE FACE...blood everywhere.
SO Funny.
I could never watch the movie with the folks, of course. There's too much swearing. It's too vivid. It's too...real. I mean...this is the way real people talk and behave about sex. YES there are guys who go for the drunk chicks. ("I mean a REAL DRUNK chick here Andy...I'm looking for vomit in the hair.") But what's so great about it is that the movie doesn't glorify that kind of stuff. It presents it. Some characters would go for that, but they're not still virgins now, are they? No...Andy ( the main character) is looking for something different.
At first, Andy reminded me of my friend Kurt. I laughed at how the social awkwardness and stiffness reminded me of my old friend. But when I stopped to think about it, about mid-way through the movie...Andy had morphed into me. I had the social awkwardness with women, sure. It only comes out every once in a while now. (Like that girl at work. OH MY GOD. I was RETARDED around her.) But watching Andy in his early relationships stage...that's where I feel I still am.
That surprised look on his face when he gets kissed...I still get that. It still surprises me when I get kindness back or interest back.
This was all quite unsettling to me to think about. I hate weakness in myself. (Same as what you said, Karleen.) And I hate to think of myself still getting all giddy because a girl gave me her number, or touched me, or heaven forbid, kissed me.
And the steps Andy went through, I liked, a lot. Dating and getting physical, getting to that step slowly. Most relationships for me, either we jump right in, diving into the pool without water... ;) or it's a struggle for me, continually trying to do things with them and impress them to bide myself 'worthy' of their affection.
So I dunno. Maybe all guys could relate to the movie, and that's why it sold so well. But I've NEVER been able to see a girl I considered pretty, just start talking about nothing, and like, get her number. Not really. I've never been able to 'pick up' women, either. And I don't think it's that I'm unattractive or anything, not really. (When I"m DOWN I sure do though!) I think it's because I'm like Andy. I consider sex a specialy thing, something I want to share with someone I care about. (Maybe not necessarily relationship-wise as much. I love relationships, but I'm also open to a little bit of openness at the begining and stuff.) Regardless, every woman I've tried to sleep with, I've wanted to sleep with, I liked.
None of this, 'bagging' chicks, planting seeds BS.
I want to share myself, all of myself with someone. I want to wake up next to someone I can smile at. I want a person to challenge me, who's as smart and funny and whatever as me, and challenge me to be even more of what I can be, what she sees IN me. I want, as I said once, to feel again like, "being a better man" for that person.
So I guess like Andy...I just have to wait. Hopefully I'm not forty, with my hair falling out and things going wrong with my body!
Thinking about it in retrospect...if I hadn't lost my virginity the way I had, would I still be in Andy's boat? Being with a women helped me a lot, it boosted my self esteem. I felt accomplished sexually, that not only did a woman want to be involved with me sexually, but that I DID A GOOD JOB. Who would have thought a guy who grew up in such a sexually repressed household, would be told by all his partners that he was very good, and by some, the best? *Scratches his head* I guess twenty-some years without anything, and begin a writer, I had a bit of creativity and plans to it all??? Seriously though, I mean, at least I gave it up with someone I cared for. It could have always been worse...always.
I know one thing though...I'm not giving up on my new years resolution. I'm not going to care about women stuffs anymore. If things go my way, great. But none of this giving all my attention to women who make up excuses not to be with me. Since I've already said, if I want to sleep with you, you're special to me, and you turn that down, then I guess I'm just not special enough for you, and I can move along. No more of this dumping emotional junk on me, dragging me down with your emotional baggage, and then dropping the hammer and slamming me into 'friend land'.
...
I'd rather play video games.