Fic!

[juleskicks]

Would've posted more fic sooner, but this wound up being far, far longer than I'd imagined it would be. Cross-posted to a couple of places, including my personal journal, so apologies if you get it more than once.

Title: The Season of Spring Comes On
Author: twinkledru
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Okay. Well. This is all fiction. Duh. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was created by and is the property of Joss Whedon.
Notes: BtVS/Actorfic. 'Troy' actorfic, to be precise. Buffy Summers/Orlando Bloom/Sean Bean. Also, if you want to see it, Dawn Summers/Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston. Not that I would encourage you in seeing it. No sir. Oh. And it's post-"Chosen".



There were no new Slayers here, and minimal vampires. No, that's not what Buffy and Dawn were here for. Just the sun -- the sun that grinned down at them, its heat diminished slightly by the cool breezes that came off the sea and tugged playfully at Buffy's linen skirt.

There were no demons, there were no apocalypses to avert, no girls to train, no Hellmouths to watch over. They were here for the sun, and the breezes, and the beach that lay, a pale ribbon unfurled before the hotel, for miles in either direction.

They were here, in Malta, because for the first time in years, Buffy Summers was on vacation.

"Oh my god," Dawn said, for the nth time in the past few minutes. Buffy looked up from the ocean she had been staring out at from the balcony and gave her sister an expectant smile. Dawn ignored her sister's amusement, still gaping over the brochure. "They've got a spa, Buffy. A frickin' spa."

"Extra charge, of course," Buffy commented drily, looking back out at the sea. God, the ocean was huge.

"Well, yeah," Dawn allowed, then continued, her enthusiasm renewed, "but we're on a Council credit card! And Giles totally said you could splurge. You know he totally wants us to have a vacation now that he's, you know, basically running things."

"He said we could relax, and then he implied that we could maybe have a little fun while we were at it," Buffy said. "Not that we could go to the spa."

Dawn pff'd, and went back to the brochure. A few minutes later, she said, again, "Oh my god!" And so it had continued, pretty much the rest of the afternoon.

Buffy wondered later why she was so surprised that it had got weird. After all, this was her life they were talking about. In retrospect, it was actually kind of naive of her to think that they might've had, you know, a vacation that somehow, in some freakish, crazy way, resembled normal.

Dinner had been fun -- a nice restaurant, with Buffy warning the entire way that they totally were not going to eat like this every night, except maybe the last night, too. Dawn had viewed this as an opportunity not to be missed, and ordered a steak, which she only managed to eat half of. Buffy had expressed mortification when Dawn had inquired about the possibility of a box or bag to take the rest with her in, Dawn had ignored her, and after dinner, they had decided to go for a walk along the beach.

Which, hey, had seemed like a nice enough idea. Walk along the beach after sunset, what could go wrong?

Silly, naive Buffy.

They had been out for perhaps ten minutes when they came across a fire on the beach. Campfire, controlled. Or, well, it had been. No one was here now, and Buffy suddenly had a sinking feeling about the whole darn situation.

And then, at the same time that something pinged in some part of her brain, there came a low yelp, the sounds of a struggle. "Damnit," Buffy swore softly.

Dawn grimaced. "Vamp?" she asked.

"Yuh-huh," Buffy said, looking around and cursing herself for having been so unprepared. God, she couldn't have thrown a stake into her purse instead of the mascara? "Here." She pulled her necklace, with its simple gold crucifix, off and handed it to Dawn, and grabbed a piece of burning driftwood out of the fire. "We separate vamps from civilians, and you get them away." She was already running towards the struggling forms, racing over the sand. Dawn was having trouble keeping up across the shifting surface, and Buffy reached them first.

Four figures, all, judging by the sounds of the grunts and growls, male. In the flickering light of her burning stick, she was fairly certain that only two of them were vamps.

Oh, she could so do this.

"Oh my God," Dawn said when they'd got a little closer, and Buffy saw, from the corner of her eye, that her sister was gaping, a disbelieving grin on her face. "Buffy, that's -- "

"It can wait, Dawn," Buffy said. "Hey!"

All four people froze, and turned to stare at them. Buffy could imagine the sight greeting them -- two girls, one of them holding a burning bit of driftwood, one of them twirling a necklace like it was --

"Stop that, Dawn," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

Dawn held the necklace still. "God, you're so boring," she said, rolling her eyes.

"For God's sake, get out of here!" one of the humans yelled. He was English, and had a mess of dark curls on his head, and something about him struck Buffy as being vaguely familiar, but it was the vamps Buffy was concentrating on right now.

The vamp nearest him snarled at that, and its companion laughed and said something that Buffy didn't understand. She'd heard enough banter in her life to know that it was probably something that required an eye roll, though, so she rolled her eyes. "So," she asked cheerfully, "how you feeling, everyone?"

Stares from the humans, laughter from the vamps. Buffy sighed, shaking her head, and performed an easy one-handed handspring, launching herself into the air and landing between the two vamps, her torch still burning. From the corner of her eye, she saw Dawn grab the dark-haired young man, and the other human, an older, blonde one. "I'm sorry," she said, as the vamps leered at her and began to close in. "The answer we were looking for was 'hot' -- " a jab with her torch to the right, setting one of the vampires on fire, "'hot' -- " a jab to the left, setting the other on fire, and as they blossomed into flame and finally vanished altogether, she smiled again and dropped the torch. "'Hot.'"

With an easy jerk of her arm, Buffy tossed the makeshift torch into the ocean and brushed some of the dust off her shirt. As she turned around, she realized Dawn was talking -- no, she was gushing -- to one of the men they'd rescued. The younger one.

"... and I totally loved 'Pirates of the Caribbean', I saw it twice the weekend it opened. In fact, one of my friends -- well, actually, he's my sister's best friend, but we're buds, too... he says I act way older than I am, but Buffy says he acts way younger than he is, so who knows? Anyway, he lost his eye in this monster battle back in our hometown, and now -- "

"Dawn, how about we give the almost-dead guys a little breathing room?" Buffy called, walking back over and giving the men a cursory glance. The elder of the two, a handsome guy with quiet green eyes, gave her a slightly uneasy smile, although he looked a little amused by Dawn.

"Ohmigod, Buffy," Dawn hissed, grabbing Buffy's hand and leaning down to whisper in her ear. "That's Orlando Bloom," she said, with an excited giggle, pointing to the younger man, the one with the dark brown curls and lively dark eyes. At the moment, though, he looked more like any of the hundreds of freaked-out near-victims she'd saved than an up-and-coming young star.

"Yes, and we used to live in Los Angeles," Buffy hissed back. "Remember the time Noah Wyle was in front of us in line for coffee? Chill out, Dawn. The guys almost died. And hey, novel idea, how about we *not* let them know about the whole saving the world thing?" She raised her voice, and turned to the men, smiling. "Hey," she said. "You guys okay?"

"What were those?" the elder man asked. His voice was soft, with an accent that she knew was British but she couldn't place, and there was something about that fact that surprised her. She realized she'd seen him in a few movies, too. She'd heard there was filming going on here on Malta, some big epic thing or other -- that must be it.

Buffy smiled wryly. "I really doubt you'd believe me if I told you."

"But -- " Orlando's voice was a little shaky, and he swallowed, staring at Buffy, his eyes wide. "But they weren't human, were they? They were too strong, and when you -- " He frowned a little. "How did you fight them?" he asked.

"Uh, hi, old-fashioned much?" Buffy snorted. "What, 'cuz a girl can't... " She trailed off, knowing that they wouldn't buy it. Two full-grown men, both of them easily six inches taller than Buffy and fifty pounds heavier, and they hadn't been able to fight them off. She shrugged and changed her tack. "I'm a superhero," she said matter-of-factly.

"It's totally boring," Dawn hastened to say. "She's strong and fast and super-flexible and stuff. Buffy smash," she explained cheerfully. "I do all the brain work. And stay in shape without the aid of superhero metabolism," she added, with a hopeful look at Orlando.

Buffy scoffed. "The brain work? Oh, right. You're a real intellectual heavyweight," she said, amused.

"Oh, says the girl who thought -- "

"So you two are sisters, then?" There was a smile on the elder man's face -- shaky, small, but still a smile, and Buffy couldn't help but return it.

"What gave it away?" Buffy grinned, and heard Dawn give a squeak and grab her arm.

"Buffy!" Dawn hissed. "Ohmigod, that's Sean Bean!"

Buffy blinked. "Who?" she hissed back.

And that was, in a nutshell, how it had gone from nice, ordinary, post-world-saving vacation to Wacky Summers Family Vacation. And it totally deserved the capital initials, because this was utterly wacky.

But on the plus side, it was only wacky in a peripherally supernatural way. The way where there was the occasional vampire to slay, but that was pretty much it. That was a pleasant change.

You had to be positive about these things.

And to be fair, beyond that, things were still... nice. Sure, ordinarily gleeful fangirls would just get autographs, maybe a photo or two, but, well, these were gleeful fangirls who had saved their lives. Or, at the very least, a gleeful fangirl who had helped save their lives, and her hot older sister, who had saved their lives. Which apparently was worth quite a bit more than the ordinary gleeful fangirl treatment.

Initially, it was worth dinner for Buffy, and a tour of the set for Dawn. Which, really, worked out well for both of them, as each girl was fairly certain that she had got the better deal. Buffy had no interest in doing much in the way of moving while she was here, and from what she could tell, Dawn had little interest in just lying around on the beach.

Although, in Buffy's defense, it wasn't all lying around on the beach. Sometimes it was stretching out on the balcony of their hotel room with a magazine. Or in the jacuzzi tub in their room. If she was really daring, there might be a little stroll into a couple of the shops down the street. Their clothes *had* all been destroyed in a massive crater, and whatever Giles said about that wearing thin as an excuse for using the Council credit card for shopping, he really couldn't be expected to understand the sartorial requirements of two young American women. Seeing as how he was an old(ish) British guy.

Dawn had come back from her tour of the set giggling, and smelling a little weird, and talking about how cool Brad was. "Brad?" Buffy asked, from her chair on the balcony.

"Pitt! Duh! Ohmigod, we had the coolest time. He's so totally awesome... ooh, key lime yogurt. You know what would be good in this?" Dawn asked, opening her yogurt. "Frosted Flakes."

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "Yeah," she said. "Great. What's that smell?" She sniffed the air again. It reminded her of Dingoes, for some reason, but beyond that, she couldn't place it. And the breeze, smelling of the sea, soon snatched it away, and then Dawn was asking her what she was going to wear to dinner.

So she had gone to dinner. And dinner had turned into another dinner, which had eventually led lunch the next day (which Sean and Orlando had both had off). It was all a sort of sun-bright haze, sea air and cool nights and sand slipping into her sandals when they walked on the beach.

And slowly, slowly, with easy questions and easier smiles from Sean, with warm laughter and warmer teasing from Orlando, she had begun to explain just what those things had been. Slowly, slowly, she had found that her own story was willing to be told, as well, little bits and tales of Sunnydale coming out, coaxed with little bits and tales of Canterbury, little bits and tales of Sheffield.

And then it was some ungodly hour of the morning, and the phone was ringing. Buffy gave a low, protesting groan, and tried to bury her head in the pillow. This strategy did not go quite as well as she would've liked, as Orlando made a sound similar to what she guessed she had, and sleepily took the pillow right out from under her head, putting it on top of his. Revenge would be hers. Oh, her time would come. But first, that phone was still ringing. Buffy glowered at Orlando (who, as his head was under the pillow, missed this entirely), then rolled over and reached over the blinking Sean to grab the phone. "Mrph?" she managed, rubbing her eyes and resting her chin on Sean's chest.

"Yeah, send up three ice cream sundaes," came Dawn's voice on the other end of the line. It was way too perky for this hour.

What hour was it, anyway? The sky was just beginning to lighten. God, the sun wasn't even up yet. And why was Dawn ordering ice cream sundaes?

"With extra hot fudge," called a woman's voice.

"With extra hot fudge," Dawn said.

"And brownies!" came a request in a guy's voice.

"And brownies," Dawn added. "Ooh! And Cheetos!"

Buffy blinked, and lifted her head, frowning. "I don't think they have Cheetos here. Wait, Dawn?" she asked, as she sat up fully, coming more awake. "What are you -- are you trying to order room service?"

"Buffy? Oh my god, this is so crazy!" Dawn giggled. "I was just ordering room service, and the girl sounded just like you!"

"Dawn, you didn't order room service, you asked me for food. And are you -- are you in a hotel room with two strangers? What the hell -- what room are you in, Dawn? I'm coming up there right now!" She clambered over Sean, eliciting a grumbling sort of sound from him, which she ignored as she began looking for her shoes. "Tell me what room you're in, Dawn."

Dawn gave a squeak, and hung up. Buffy glowered at the handset, then hung up and began trying to find the rest of her clothes. A couple of seconds later, the phone rang again. Both the men in the bed groaned, and Buffy, hoping it was Dawn, picked up. "Dawn?"

There was a gasp. "Dude! Orli, you know Dawn?" It was a man's voice -- and it was oddly familiar.

Buffy frowned. "This isn't Orli. This is Dawn's sister. Buffy."

Silence. At the sound of his name, Orlando had lifted the pillow from off of his head and blinked sleepily, confusedly, at Buffy. More silence, then muffled voices, then the click as the man hung up. Belatedly, Buffy placed his voice -- it was the guy who'd been in the background when Dawn had called just moments before. She hung up again, swearing to herself that if she had to search every room in this hotel, she would.

The phone rang a third time. Buffy, unfortunately, was pulling on her jeans, and one-legged hopping, even one-legged Slayer hopping, wasn't enough to get her to the phone before Sean grabbed it, apparently wanting to avoid more confusion. "Yeah?" he said, his voice rough with the recent waking. Buffy grabbed for the phone, but Sean slid away from her, and she overbalanced and tipped, crashing onto the bed. Orlando snickered, and Buffy glowered at him as she pulled herself up and lunged for the phone again. He grabbed her ankle, and Buffy yelped as she crashed down again. Sean slid out of bed easily, getting out of her reach, and Buffy kicked at Orlando. Not hard -- or, well, she hadn't meant for it to be hard. But she must've kicked harder than she thought, because he gave a yelp, and pounced on her, naked.

"Yeah. No, Brad, you want to call room service like this." Sean seemed oblivious to the wrestling pair on the bed as he gave instructions. "Brad, have you got two girls with you?" He grinned at Buffy, who tried again to grab for the phone. "Yeah. Her sister's worried about her. Yeah, I'll tell her. No, we don't want ice cream. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'll tell her. No, you don't -- 'lo, Dawn. No, I'm not dead. No, Dawn, that were Boromir. Yeah, I'll tell her. 'Bye, love."

He hung up, and grinned at Buffy. "Your sister says hi."

"Where is she?" Buffy demanded, shoving Orlando away. He fell off the bed, and she grimaced. "Oops. Sorry, Orli."

"Christ, Buffy, I probably broke something... " Orlando kept grumbling as he pulled himself up and back onto the bed. "I thought that was Brad?"

"First the one, then the other, then the one again," Sean explained patiently, sitting back down on the bed. "She's with Brad and Jen, Buffy, you don't have to worry."

Orlando snorted. Sean glared at him, and he sat back, an amused look in his dark eyes.

Buffy frowned. "What?" she asked, worried. "Wait, Brad and Jen? As in, like, Pitt and Aniston?"

"As in, like, Pitt and Aniston," Orlando said, mimicking Buffy's voice. Buffy glared at him, and raised her fist. He shoved her first, though, and then dove off of the bed, pulling a pillow to cover himself with as she fell against Sean.

"Well -- oof. Sorry. Well, is she okay with them? What's wrong? Is something wrong with them?"

"Nothing's wrong with them," Sean said patiently, as Buffy righted herself, grabbed the pillow, and whacked Orlando with it. "She'll be fine with them."

"Just make sure you wash her clothes before you go to the airport," Orlando said, climbing back up onto the bed yet again. There was a smirk on his face, a knowing one -- he felt that he had come out even with Buffy in the fight because he knew something she didn't.

Buffy glared at him. Orlando pretended to ignore this, but as he settled down on the bed again, he said, in what was obviously a capitulation, damnit, "Bloody stoners."

"Stoners?" Buffy repeated, frowning a little. "Um, isn't that -- I mean, maybe I should find her. Getting arrested in a foreign country -- "

"They haven't been arrested yet," Sean said, his quiet voice calm and even, as he stroked Buffy's hair reassuringly. "And they've not exactly been subtle about it."

"I'm just glad he's got two people to distract him now," Orlando grumbled, tugging at the blanket. "God, before Jen got here, he would call us when he got high. And he's a paranoid bastard when he's fucked up."

"Gay sex, interrupted," Buffy quipped, giving in and scootching so that Orlando could pull the blanket over himself. "Very tragic."

This earned her glares from both of them, and she smiled innocently as she lay back down as well. "I'm not gonna be able to get back to sleep now," she complained, even as she yawned loudly.

"Sure you're not," Sean agreed easily, lying back down beside her and kissing her bare shoulder.

"You could take those off," Orlando suggested, a hopeful look on his face as he hooked a finger through the belt loop of her jeans. Buffy snorted, but undid the top button anyway.

"I'm only doing this 'cuz I can't sleep in my clothes," she said, wriggling out of her jeans.

"I thought you said you weren't going to be able to get back to sleep anyway," Orlando said, taking the jeans and tossing them across the room with a satisfied look. She hadn't bothered to pull on underwear, as she'd been certain that Dawn was getting herself into some kind of trouble, so they were all once again equally naked.

Buffy nodded, yawning again and lying back down. "That," she said cheerfully, "might have been mistakenly reported."

Sean made an agreeingish noise as he pulled her a little closer to him. He was, she thought, already falling asleep again. Which really wasn't sounding like that bad a plan, and maybe if she just lay here for awhile...

"You're sure they're not molesting her?" Buffy asked, sleepily.

Orlando had seemed the most awake of the three of them, but he had fallen asleep the most quickly, too, for he was already snoring. Sean's breathing changed a little when she asked this, and she felt him smile. "Yeah," he said softly, chuckling a little.

Buffy made a soft, satisfied noise, accepting this, and closing her eyes. "I could've gone for some ice cream," she grumbled, her voice soft.

She heard Sean laugh, softly, and she thought he might've said something in reply, but it didn't quite make sense, and the next thing she knew, she was opening her eyes, and it was suddenly morning.