In the Breakdown...
Forgive and Forget right?
It sounds so easy, but then again everything does on paper. It took me so long to forgive everything that he did to me. I looked passed it all, I was the bigger person. It wasn't easy to forgive everything, to start with a new slate. Then after everything happend I had to forgive him one last time. I made sure it would be the last time. If there was one more cruel surprise waiting for me around a dark corner, let it come. I'm ready for it, at least I think I am. Even though my heart would break, the pieces scattered, I would leave him.
This ring hasn't left my finger, it helps me cope with the pain. I forgave all the past indulgences, I thought I did. I can't forget them, I don't think I ever will. How can you forgive someone when the thought of what they did plagues your mind? It's random and can't be predicted. It could be one word, a person that makes me think of the past, about what he did. I wonder if you can truly forgive a person? I mean completely.
I love him, people think that should be enough but it isn't. I love him and he loves me, he has made me the happiest person alive and the saddest. He's broken my heart in so many different ways. I think the person I can't forgive is myself for enduring what I did to get here. For months insecurity by insecurity I was broken down by him, by his actions. He didn't do it intenionally, there are always excuses.
I'm happy most of time but there are moments of pain. I remember everything, he remembers nothing. I live in pain, he lives in guilt. Love isn't always enough, it should be damn it! They say time heals all wounds and it has but the scars haven't faded yet, they never will.