Shitassbitch
So I am angry, very angry.
And I am not even sure why. I have a problem... These new meds are making it tons worse. I mean the suicidal thoughts and urges to SI are practically out of control, and I am spending my whole day fighting for sanity. I know its stupid but I sont want to feel like this.
James says he will leave me if I dont "grow up" and stop being depressed. Instead of caring, I yelled, if he wants me to stop being depressed, why doesnt he stop being schizophrenic. I think he doesnt understand that I cant help it. Same with the purging. Its like I want to stop, who likes puking all the time.
And then I was listening to evanesence (how cliche) and this song, it was so triggering, and it reminded me of the abuse that happened when I was five, and i hit repeat and the song just kept playing, and I was more then triggered, driving down the street bawling about it all.
I hate myself.
And I am not even sure why. I have a problem... These new meds are making it tons worse. I mean the suicidal thoughts and urges to SI are practically out of control, and I am spending my whole day fighting for sanity. I know its stupid but I sont want to feel like this.
James says he will leave me if I dont "grow up" and stop being depressed. Instead of caring, I yelled, if he wants me to stop being depressed, why doesnt he stop being schizophrenic. I think he doesnt understand that I cant help it. Same with the purging. Its like I want to stop, who likes puking all the time.
And then I was listening to evanesence (how cliche) and this song, it was so triggering, and it reminded me of the abuse that happened when I was five, and i hit repeat and the song just kept playing, and I was more then triggered, driving down the street bawling about it all.
I hate myself.