(no subject)
i swear to god i'm going crazy.
i mean, i feel fine now, but i've been an emotional trainwreck the past couple of weeks.
i had a mental breakdown last night, in which i sought refuge in my mom (which is how i know it's really bad), but she didn't really help, and she blamed it on my lack of employment.
i talked to her today when she came home, and we decided to get me a meeting with a psychiatrist and look into getting me back on meds. i see pam on thursday, but i have a feeling pam will suggest the same.
i don't know what's wrong with me. if it's depression, or anxiety, or both. i just feel...crazy, for lack of a better word. neither this nor that, i'm here, but i'm not. i just feel crazy.
i don't even know if it has to do with mike. i'm sure part of it does. and i'm sure part of it has to do with being home with nothing to do, stranded at my house because my 16-year old sister (with which the relationship is particularly volatile as of late)keeps hijacking my car.
i don't know. it just doesn't seem like enough to push me over the edge like i am.
i'm seeing mike tonight. i don't know what we're going to do. maybe watch pan's labryinth, as he hasn't seen it.
uuuugh.
i need druuuuugs.
i mean, i feel fine now, but i've been an emotional trainwreck the past couple of weeks.
i had a mental breakdown last night, in which i sought refuge in my mom (which is how i know it's really bad), but she didn't really help, and she blamed it on my lack of employment.
i talked to her today when she came home, and we decided to get me a meeting with a psychiatrist and look into getting me back on meds. i see pam on thursday, but i have a feeling pam will suggest the same.
i don't know what's wrong with me. if it's depression, or anxiety, or both. i just feel...crazy, for lack of a better word. neither this nor that, i'm here, but i'm not. i just feel crazy.
i don't even know if it has to do with mike. i'm sure part of it does. and i'm sure part of it has to do with being home with nothing to do, stranded at my house because my 16-year old sister (with which the relationship is particularly volatile as of late)keeps hijacking my car.
i don't know. it just doesn't seem like enough to push me over the edge like i am.
i'm seeing mike tonight. i don't know what we're going to do. maybe watch pan's labryinth, as he hasn't seen it.
uuuugh.
i need druuuuugs.