AUUUUGH YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
(Yup, still alive. I sprained my ankle kind of badly on Saturday, I have to wear a splint, it's all very badass-looking. Apart from that, I'm doing good!)
Maybe it's just me, but I hate, hate, hate being hit on (in the flirtatious sense) in the street. It just makes me squirm. Talking to a random guy whose single preoccupation is to have sex with ( Read more... )
Maybe it's just me, but I hate, hate, hate being hit on (in the flirtatious sense) in the street. It just makes me squirm. Talking to a random guy whose single preoccupation is to have sex with ( Read more... )
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Sérieusement, plus le temps passe et plus je me dis qu'il faudrait que j'apprenne un peu à me battre. Pas nécéssairement pour ce genre de cas (snober, ça marche mieux), mais de manière générale.
Plus généralement à propos des dragueurs lourds, d'un côté je me dis que je suis trop gentille et qu'il faudrait que je fasse comprendre plus fermement que non, désolée, pas intéressée, va te faire, mais d'un autre, ça me fait je vois pas pourquoi ça serait à moi de rectifier mon comportement juste parce que ce genre de gars est insupportablement collant...
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That's just what a couple of people on my f'list have been talking about. Yes, it's probably not a bad idea for women to learn assertiveness/self-defence skills, but the fact remains they shouldn't have to put them into practice. People including women are nobody's property but their own.
(sorry to rant, but there's been some Very Serious posts by aforementioned f'listies regarding times when women have had worse than people hitting on them in the street...)
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One thing that's really puzzling is: If people use those flirting techniques, does it mean there's an important succes ratio? I mean, I've talked to a lot of straight/bi girls (to make sure it wasn't just a matter of sexual orientation), and none of them actually enjoy being hit on like that. I know I tend to hang out with the geeky crowds who don't enjoy social interaction all that much when it comes to strangers, but I have yet to meet someone (even a vague friend of a friend) who actually once met a boyfriend/sexual partner/just friend through this particular channel.
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(This is incredibly geeky of me, but I like it better when social mechanisms involve discussing books or computers. Or both.)
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But people can be particularly tenacious if they're interested in something. It's one of the best and worst features of our species
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It might just be me, but when someone, especially a man, comes and talks to me in the street for no apparent reason (someone asking me for a light, or the time, or directions all constitute "apparent" reasons, even if it's just a way of starting a conversation), I instinctively assume a defensive position. It's kind of stupid, and I guess it has everything to do with me being awkward when talking to people I've never met before, but it means that anyone trying to flirt with me will be considered aggressive, even if they do nothing wrong.
And, sadly, I've never actually met a guy who hit on me in the street and then just went away when told no. But that might just be Murphy (or Nyarlathotep. Or maybe they're one and the same) having fun with me.
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IAWTC
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Je snobe aussi. Mais ça ne suffit souvent pas, pour moi.
Je n'ai pas envie d'être gentille avec des tocards pareils en les remettant poliment en place (ah, comme si !), mais je sais que ça ne sert à rien non plus de leur dire méchamment à quel point ils me répugnent, mais voilà, oui : pourquoi ça serait à nous d'avoir à nous battre pour qu'ils nous fichent la paix ?
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