The change in seasons.
I've been sensitive to the seasons for a long time now.
This year is strange.
I recall wanting winter to end. I recall trying to keep my window open in 50 degree weather while the snow was barely beginning to melt.
But right now... I feel nothing.
Summer is not as valuable to me at the end as it is at the beginning, and, for the most part, I outright dislike fall. But every season invokes a different reaction in me, and normally, that novelty is more than enough to make me excited for the changes in weather.
I feel nothing.
I don't really feel like it's the summer, and I don't really feel fall yet. And the only two reasons this is a problem are that, for one thing, I'm having trouble finding music to listen to (because above all, I associate my music with seasons); and the other thing is that I'm not as excited for college as I could be.
(Then again, this whole college thing still feels absolutely surreal.)
The main reason I can think of that I'd feel like this is because I spent at least a whole month doing nothing but playing Sword. This means that I actually had something to do for a good chunk of the summer, and it was impossible for me to become bored. The normal process goes like this: I'm really excited for summer, summer comes, I feel fantastic for the first two months, and by August, I get bored of never having anything to do and I want fall to break the monotony. This process was interrupted because I did have something to do, and I didn't get bored.
It happened last summer, too - except last summer I was in Russia for a month.
It's interesting to look back at this summer. After all, I was so damn excited to finally get out of high school and not have to do anything anymore and just relax. The three months ahead of me seemed endless. And now, just like that, it's gone.
The other possibility is that I'm becoming less sensitive to the seasons. I would like this to be true - I don't want to lose all sensitivity, but I also dislike how sometimes my mood is dependent solely on the progression of the seasons - but I'm not going to rush to conclusions quite yet.
This year is strange.
I recall wanting winter to end. I recall trying to keep my window open in 50 degree weather while the snow was barely beginning to melt.
But right now... I feel nothing.
Summer is not as valuable to me at the end as it is at the beginning, and, for the most part, I outright dislike fall. But every season invokes a different reaction in me, and normally, that novelty is more than enough to make me excited for the changes in weather.
I feel nothing.
I don't really feel like it's the summer, and I don't really feel fall yet. And the only two reasons this is a problem are that, for one thing, I'm having trouble finding music to listen to (because above all, I associate my music with seasons); and the other thing is that I'm not as excited for college as I could be.
(Then again, this whole college thing still feels absolutely surreal.)
The main reason I can think of that I'd feel like this is because I spent at least a whole month doing nothing but playing Sword. This means that I actually had something to do for a good chunk of the summer, and it was impossible for me to become bored. The normal process goes like this: I'm really excited for summer, summer comes, I feel fantastic for the first two months, and by August, I get bored of never having anything to do and I want fall to break the monotony. This process was interrupted because I did have something to do, and I didn't get bored.
It happened last summer, too - except last summer I was in Russia for a month.
It's interesting to look back at this summer. After all, I was so damn excited to finally get out of high school and not have to do anything anymore and just relax. The three months ahead of me seemed endless. And now, just like that, it's gone.
The other possibility is that I'm becoming less sensitive to the seasons. I would like this to be true - I don't want to lose all sensitivity, but I also dislike how sometimes my mood is dependent solely on the progression of the seasons - but I'm not going to rush to conclusions quite yet.