I'm lost without you...
well, today was an interesting day. I worked at the mothers morning out at bethany's church. I made 30 $ it was exciting. I enjoyed myself, i spent the afternoon with lauren and josh, entertaining as usual. and then tonight i went to caroline's for her mom's birthday, i wasn't really expecting to go to a flute party. it's just hard, i'm just not a part of that group. I guess i never realy was, but whatever. I'm just starting to really come to realize that i'm growing up and growing apart from old friends. it's just diffrent. It's hard, i talked to Emily, and she told me that she was pretty much have a rough time, and it basically boils down to..she's not in high school anymore, and i feel the same as her, but i'm just now a senior. Ah, it's all coming so fast, and i feel like i'm leaving some behind.
I just have felt lately that, i can't be myself. I can't be myself even around some of the people i dearly love. I feel like im not understood, and i am judged. I just want to be myself and have some independance.. i wrote a song because i was feeling this way..here it is, it's not very, but i'll take comments.
This isn't me but it's who you want me to be.
I'm trying so hard to be the girl you expect me to be, but it's killing me, to lie to myself like this.
I'm breaking down and wishing to just be...me.
If you realy loved me wouldn't i have a chance to breathe, if you really loved me couldn't you take me for who i am , if you really loved me wouldn't you just set me free, if you really loved me i would have the chance to live.
This pressure you put on me is wearing at my heart.
Can't you let me go to a live a life that i want, but i'm sittin here paitiently, waiting for my time to come back around.
If you really loved me wouldn't i have a change to breathe, if you really loved me couldn't you take me for who i am if you really loved me wouldn't you just set me free, if you really loved me i would have a chance to live.
Well, thats really the update of my life right now. I talked to emily about college a bit and she calmed my nerves quite a bit, soi feel good about my chances of getting into FSU. But i am still going to sign up for the SAT again just in case.
I'm ready for this year, but i am still scared, i don't wanna screw it up. I'm excited about being President, and i'm excited about just learning more and more about myself. But i'm scared. All too much.
So hopefully California for spring break is going to happen! i want to go really bad.
My dad is out of town. i hate is so much when he is gone, he will be gone for 5 weeks in a row (home fri-sun). I want him to just come back and stay put. Ah, i'm gnna go..i don't feel very good, or very emotionalyl stable right now.
I just have felt lately that, i can't be myself. I can't be myself even around some of the people i dearly love. I feel like im not understood, and i am judged. I just want to be myself and have some independance.. i wrote a song because i was feeling this way..here it is, it's not very, but i'll take comments.
This isn't me but it's who you want me to be.
I'm trying so hard to be the girl you expect me to be, but it's killing me, to lie to myself like this.
I'm breaking down and wishing to just be...me.
If you realy loved me wouldn't i have a chance to breathe, if you really loved me couldn't you take me for who i am , if you really loved me wouldn't you just set me free, if you really loved me i would have the chance to live.
This pressure you put on me is wearing at my heart.
Can't you let me go to a live a life that i want, but i'm sittin here paitiently, waiting for my time to come back around.
If you really loved me wouldn't i have a change to breathe, if you really loved me couldn't you take me for who i am if you really loved me wouldn't you just set me free, if you really loved me i would have a chance to live.
Well, thats really the update of my life right now. I talked to emily about college a bit and she calmed my nerves quite a bit, soi feel good about my chances of getting into FSU. But i am still going to sign up for the SAT again just in case.
I'm ready for this year, but i am still scared, i don't wanna screw it up. I'm excited about being President, and i'm excited about just learning more and more about myself. But i'm scared. All too much.
So hopefully California for spring break is going to happen! i want to go really bad.
My dad is out of town. i hate is so much when he is gone, he will be gone for 5 weeks in a row (home fri-sun). I want him to just come back and stay put. Ah, i'm gnna go..i don't feel very good, or very emotionalyl stable right now.