"21st Century Workout" or "How I Managed to Improve My Mind Through Egyptian Hypnosis"

Aug 28, 2007 08:18

I am currently in the middle of a brand new self-help program I have stumbled upon. Its called "Actually Doing Shit". Those names I threw out in the subject are not the True Name. I simply threw them up there to discourage intellectual copywrite thieves from stealing the True Name even though the True Name is listed just two lines below. I believe that most thieves are lazy; too lazy to read anything but the subject line, so I am not worried. Actually, the "21st Century Workout" does describe my new program, for it is the 21st century and you do get a workout. The Egyptian Mind Hypnosis was the false part, which is sad, since that sounds cool and exciting. Basically, my workout involves tying a rope to a tree in a raging river and an innertube to the other end. Sit in the tube and fly down the river at top speed until the rope tightens and you jerked to a violent stop. Then you grab the rope and pull yourself back towards the tree against the current. It is a lot like pulling yourself up a building. Not only does it hurt muscles you never knew existed, but it rubs your nipples raw on the stupid innertube at the same time. Do that about five times, plus swim down the raging river for about a mile twice. Then move all your belongings out of your house to a new place. Finally, repeat. I do not know how successful this muscle improvement program of "Actually Doing Shit Instead of Sitting On My Duff" (I just expanded the title -ed)will be, since I am only on phase two. But I am currently too sore to even move (exaggeration. Obviously I have to move to type) and I am not done moving the belongings out of my house the first time. Once I finish with this on Friday I am supposed to go back to the river where I will probably try the rope trick some more and then I come back to Austin only to move all of my belongings from the storage unit where I am putting them now to another house. That is an update on my life. I have no room for anything else that does not involve living like a gypsy, improving my muscles, and worrying. And going out to eat since I will be homeless for a week. So, if any of those four things interest you I would be happy to do them with you sometime. Call me.
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