New Year Resolutions for 2007:

Jan 02, 2007 19:22

1. Build a lifesize statue of a ladybug out of earwax and sell it on eBay for at least $3.99 plus shipping.
2. Attack a bear somewhere in the world but preferably not in a zoo unless I am desperate.
3. Tease and antagonize all robots in hopes of starting the dreaded cyberwar predicted in Terminators 1-3.
4. Kidnap a Pilates instructor until she's fat and then release her back into the wild.
5. Make out with the spirit of an as yet unborn human.
6. Pour lemonade all over Rosie O'Donnell's breasts.
7. Trap 12 dogs in a burning building for a minimum of 45 seconds (by February 20th).
8. Invent a very popular dance within the Beaumont-Port Arthur metroplex.
9. Ridicule my opponents into wearing sweatshirts to Galveston.
10. Tear up a twenty dollar bill belonging to a black baby.
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