Serendipity
I had a two hour lapse between some classes today and through some quick logic decided that it would be pointless to walk all the way back to my room. So I resolved myself to slowly eat my lunch and see what happened from there. I had to go Uptown to the copy shop for a class workbook, I realized, and placing my white rimmed sunglasses on my nose I walked on - insert catchy reborn of innocence Karen O music here. After not having to wait in line (a shocker) I left the copy shop with my purchase within a matter of a few minutes; it was at that moment that I felt that I wanted, against all my previous emotional experience, to stay Uptown a while, alone, and generally be leisurely about getting to wherever I had to go.
I had never been to the art store at all last year...I had thought about it several times. I went in and was greeted quite cordially. This caught me off guard, because I suspected that I looked out of place; i.e. with no real intentions whatsoever. I just didn't want to go in and look and seem pointless so I bought a portable sketchbook and some calligraphy nick knacks. I left the art store and almost made it to campus, but promptly turned around and decided I wanted something chilled and refreshing. Enter Italian grape soda.
It was after the fact that I had a small conversation with the lovely gelato shop attendant and as I was walking under some cooling trees, that I had the epiphany that I was happy. What?! Really?! This happiness lasted about another 30 minutes until it fizzled into my normal complacency and fatigue. That was strange. And beautiful. I wonder how I can repeat this episode or make it longer.
Sure, I can be happy at other times but not without the overbearing self consciousness I usually experience. I felt guilty for spending some money, more now than then, but it doesn't seem like I cared after the fact.
I will enjoy my art supplies. I enjoyed my soda. I enjoyed the perfect weather. And for a little while I enjoyed the strange surge of endorphins.
I had never been to the art store at all last year...I had thought about it several times. I went in and was greeted quite cordially. This caught me off guard, because I suspected that I looked out of place; i.e. with no real intentions whatsoever. I just didn't want to go in and look and seem pointless so I bought a portable sketchbook and some calligraphy nick knacks. I left the art store and almost made it to campus, but promptly turned around and decided I wanted something chilled and refreshing. Enter Italian grape soda.
It was after the fact that I had a small conversation with the lovely gelato shop attendant and as I was walking under some cooling trees, that I had the epiphany that I was happy. What?! Really?! This happiness lasted about another 30 minutes until it fizzled into my normal complacency and fatigue. That was strange. And beautiful. I wonder how I can repeat this episode or make it longer.
Sure, I can be happy at other times but not without the overbearing self consciousness I usually experience. I felt guilty for spending some money, more now than then, but it doesn't seem like I cared after the fact.
I will enjoy my art supplies. I enjoyed my soda. I enjoyed the perfect weather. And for a little while I enjoyed the strange surge of endorphins.