Rather Slow
Now that the work season is nearly over (except for a few days of hell until Aug 15) I'm not feeling that mind bashing anticipation I felt a month ago. I was so looking forward to just sitting back and doing absolutely nothing, but now I feel like I want to accomplish something - something not in my "job" description. Sure, I'm excited to attend the Clan Gathering, but that lingering feeling of failure lays with me every night as I fall asleep. Maybe it is the maternal house that is falling down around me or the sleep when I'm dead attitude on the other side. One thing is for certain, I need to get back to school.
After this weekend I'll be able to devote more time to reaching my painting goals. I already "finished" the first piece (which I started last year...). It is abstract, frustrated, and emo. Every morning I wake up to it all I feel is disappointment. I want to do more and make it amazing, but I know that I can't right now. So I'm calling it abstract/finished for now and moving on. I finally came upon an idea for my next painting and decided not to restrict myself with this whole triptych...thing. I guess the inspiration lends itself to my current literary obsession and my daily commute.
I'm reading Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrel. Read it. If you've read it or are in the proccess of reading it you'll understand.
There is a local gang of crows that hang out in the various parking lots, ponds, and retirement centers around my neighborhood. Every day I can expect them to be on their rounds in the usual places. As I trot past them on Scrambles I've collected freeze frames of them in my mind. Alquiline, streaking gloss and flowing black or sometimes bobbing and hopping; always intelligent and familial. While I believe them to be a murder of five, I'm thinking of displaying three in my landscape. I know it's summer, but my mind is already in winter. Stark and grey with crows distant outlines, waiting for one of there own to land. Maybe. It will be very "oil". At least my pallette won't be so vomitious with colors and confusion.
Am I getting sick again? God, I hope not.
After this weekend I'll be able to devote more time to reaching my painting goals. I already "finished" the first piece (which I started last year...). It is abstract, frustrated, and emo. Every morning I wake up to it all I feel is disappointment. I want to do more and make it amazing, but I know that I can't right now. So I'm calling it abstract/finished for now and moving on. I finally came upon an idea for my next painting and decided not to restrict myself with this whole triptych...thing. I guess the inspiration lends itself to my current literary obsession and my daily commute.
I'm reading Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrel. Read it. If you've read it or are in the proccess of reading it you'll understand.
There is a local gang of crows that hang out in the various parking lots, ponds, and retirement centers around my neighborhood. Every day I can expect them to be on their rounds in the usual places. As I trot past them on Scrambles I've collected freeze frames of them in my mind. Alquiline, streaking gloss and flowing black or sometimes bobbing and hopping; always intelligent and familial. While I believe them to be a murder of five, I'm thinking of displaying three in my landscape. I know it's summer, but my mind is already in winter. Stark and grey with crows distant outlines, waiting for one of there own to land. Maybe. It will be very "oil". At least my pallette won't be so vomitious with colors and confusion.
Am I getting sick again? God, I hope not.