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[raptor_wings]

I'm scared.

Comments

[inochiken]

'Bout what?

[raptor_wings]

Death
Death in my house
Watching someone die
The hospital in my living room
Unknown family members
Silent stares
Lost memories
The sound of labored breathing
Upcoming mental breakdowns
Losing chances
Not caring enough
Caring about the wrong things
Lost privacy
Frailty

Not getting my Govenor's School resume turned in because I'm scared.

[inochiken]

Death is never a cut-and-dry type of thing.

I always just try to appreciate the person's existence. That's even if I don't feel like I miss them as much as I *should*, or care about them dying as much as I *should*.

I'm still very much a sociopath in many ways, so I can't technically be sad about or miss anyone- but I can try hard to appreciate their being here, even if I wasn't as close to them as I should haven been, or feel awkwardly about their loss because of stuff between me and that person (or lack of stuff between me and that person...)

You can be afraid if you want to; there's nothing wrong with that. We're here to talk to you if/when you need it.

[raptor_wings]

So, is it okay not to miss her when she dies?

[inochiken]

In a word: yes.

Though you should make an effort to think about her some, even if it's just kind of a rambling, abstract line of thought.