(no subject)
So I thought I had a job interview today for an office position for the Michigan Atheltic summer camps-turns out it was an interview to be a camp counsler fo rthe summer camps-they made a mistake and thought I wanted to be interviewed for both. So after the main guy gave his little intro speech I said that I applied for the office job and he apologized for wasting my time and was really sorry for the mix up, then he asked if I wanted to stay and interivew for the counsler job anyways. I thought about it for a split second, kindly said no thank you, and he said he would be contacting me later about the office job.
Then I got on the bus and made my way to my car at the State Street commuter lot to bring back to the free parking garage after 5 so I won't have to wait for the bus to take me to my car at 9 pm tonight when I am done with my econ test. On the way to my car I started thinking about the counsler job and what they were offering-a private room in South Quad (still community bathroom downthe hall), three free meals a day, and $165 a week, and work from 8 pm to 8 am every day, which would allow me to take a spring and a summer class during the day (b/c I am about to fail my second econ test and I will be dropping it on Friday) it would have been perfect, I would get to live on my own for the summer. Then I got hit by a major panic attack, I got really hot, so I'm sure my face was red, my heart started pumping fast, and a feeling of nausea came over me. Just the thought of living on my own made me freak out.
I don't know how everyone does it. Some people come here from LA, or New York, miles and miles, hours and hours away from home and they are ok. Even my friends, Keehner is four hours away, hell Patti isn't even on the same continent anymore, and they are ok. I couldn't even live 20 mins away from home, I tried that, my stuff spent a total of 11 days at Oxford, I spent a total of 5 days. Just something about being alone that freaks the hell out of me. I was telling Keehner this, I didn't even consider out of state schools because I didn't want to be alone, going to a new place and not knowing anyone. Oh I told myself it would be different in Ann Arbor, that I would change, that I would be more out going, I would go make new friends, I would be different that before. I got into Ann Arbor and I didn't change, I stayed the same, I didn't want to be out going, I didn't want to make friends, I wanted to go back home, because change is the scairest thing to me. I thought my love for the Football Team would over-come the being alone thing, but I was alone in Ann Arbor and I couldn't handel it.
I admire those who can go live on their own, to go to school in a different state, who can go to a place where they know no one and are ok with it. I wish I could be like that, but I don't understand how you guys can do that. Leaving home and being HOURS away from home scares me to death-like I said I couldn't even make it being 20 mins away from home. I remember those 5 days I spent in Ann Arbor, I was alone the whole time-eating alone-going to class alone-watching TV alone-killing time alone-I don't think I talked more than 20 words in a day-most of my "talking" was done online to friends who hadn't left for school yet-lying in bed realizing your all alone is a scary thought.
So I figured, "Hey, if I'm going to be alone all the time I might as well not feel horrible the whole time" So I moved back home. And I do the same things-go to class alone-eat alone-kill time alone-and I might say a total of 10 words while I'm on campus (exculding radio-which by the way is the only time I feel wanted or accepted). Then I go home and I talk, and laugh, and goof around, and have fun.
Well I got to get heading over to the MLB, I'm in the fish bowl right now, so I can fail a test for the second time in as many tries, drop the class on Friday, and hope that I can take Econ 101 and 102 at Schoolcraft or Henry Ford. If I can't do that, then I will take Econ 101 in the Spring Term, and Econ 102 in the Summer Term.
Oh by the way, I got accepted into the School of Ed.
Then I got on the bus and made my way to my car at the State Street commuter lot to bring back to the free parking garage after 5 so I won't have to wait for the bus to take me to my car at 9 pm tonight when I am done with my econ test. On the way to my car I started thinking about the counsler job and what they were offering-a private room in South Quad (still community bathroom downthe hall), three free meals a day, and $165 a week, and work from 8 pm to 8 am every day, which would allow me to take a spring and a summer class during the day (b/c I am about to fail my second econ test and I will be dropping it on Friday) it would have been perfect, I would get to live on my own for the summer. Then I got hit by a major panic attack, I got really hot, so I'm sure my face was red, my heart started pumping fast, and a feeling of nausea came over me. Just the thought of living on my own made me freak out.
I don't know how everyone does it. Some people come here from LA, or New York, miles and miles, hours and hours away from home and they are ok. Even my friends, Keehner is four hours away, hell Patti isn't even on the same continent anymore, and they are ok. I couldn't even live 20 mins away from home, I tried that, my stuff spent a total of 11 days at Oxford, I spent a total of 5 days. Just something about being alone that freaks the hell out of me. I was telling Keehner this, I didn't even consider out of state schools because I didn't want to be alone, going to a new place and not knowing anyone. Oh I told myself it would be different in Ann Arbor, that I would change, that I would be more out going, I would go make new friends, I would be different that before. I got into Ann Arbor and I didn't change, I stayed the same, I didn't want to be out going, I didn't want to make friends, I wanted to go back home, because change is the scairest thing to me. I thought my love for the Football Team would over-come the being alone thing, but I was alone in Ann Arbor and I couldn't handel it.
I admire those who can go live on their own, to go to school in a different state, who can go to a place where they know no one and are ok with it. I wish I could be like that, but I don't understand how you guys can do that. Leaving home and being HOURS away from home scares me to death-like I said I couldn't even make it being 20 mins away from home. I remember those 5 days I spent in Ann Arbor, I was alone the whole time-eating alone-going to class alone-watching TV alone-killing time alone-I don't think I talked more than 20 words in a day-most of my "talking" was done online to friends who hadn't left for school yet-lying in bed realizing your all alone is a scary thought.
So I figured, "Hey, if I'm going to be alone all the time I might as well not feel horrible the whole time" So I moved back home. And I do the same things-go to class alone-eat alone-kill time alone-and I might say a total of 10 words while I'm on campus (exculding radio-which by the way is the only time I feel wanted or accepted). Then I go home and I talk, and laugh, and goof around, and have fun.
Well I got to get heading over to the MLB, I'm in the fish bowl right now, so I can fail a test for the second time in as many tries, drop the class on Friday, and hope that I can take Econ 101 and 102 at Schoolcraft or Henry Ford. If I can't do that, then I will take Econ 101 in the Spring Term, and Econ 102 in the Summer Term.
Oh by the way, I got accepted into the School of Ed.