Endless.
As a child I was always alone... but I never understood how empty being alone felt until I learned about love.
I was always angry.
With everything and anything that was alive beyond the walls that I lived in.
And all the people I lived with.
And thats all I understood for a long time.
I saw movies and read books about other things.
But anger was what I knew best.
Im not sure what I wanted to explain here....
it was just sad realizing how empty my whole life was before.
To learn about love should have been wonderful but it wasn't for me.
It opened my eyes to what my life was really like.
How different and cruel it is compared to many...
And as all the memories came flying by through my head, I changed entirely.
I think I hated more and more things and more and more people... until eventually when I was in Mexico it all just exploded out of me.
I couldn't comprehend anything. And I didnt try at the time...
to be honest... right now i still hate who I am.
Where I was, and what I had done when I was there...
I may be better now, I may do good things now
but the things I had done can't be forgiven.
If there is something after this... send me to where the darker souls go. Please...
sorry I strayed from the beginning... but this mind has no end.
I was always angry.
With everything and anything that was alive beyond the walls that I lived in.
And all the people I lived with.
And thats all I understood for a long time.
I saw movies and read books about other things.
But anger was what I knew best.
Im not sure what I wanted to explain here....
it was just sad realizing how empty my whole life was before.
To learn about love should have been wonderful but it wasn't for me.
It opened my eyes to what my life was really like.
How different and cruel it is compared to many...
And as all the memories came flying by through my head, I changed entirely.
I think I hated more and more things and more and more people... until eventually when I was in Mexico it all just exploded out of me.
I couldn't comprehend anything. And I didnt try at the time...
to be honest... right now i still hate who I am.
Where I was, and what I had done when I was there...
I may be better now, I may do good things now
but the things I had done can't be forgiven.
If there is something after this... send me to where the darker souls go. Please...
sorry I strayed from the beginning... but this mind has no end.