(no subject)
So I managed to get called an asshole by one of my very good friends. Sad part is that I did deserve it and it was over something to fucking stupid and insignificant. For the most part, I'm pretty apathetic about everything that goes on with my life. I basically have no ego whatsoever and that's probably a very bad thing because I sell myself short in everything I do and don't take pride in anything when I'm in a non-intoxicated state of mind.
But from time to time, I feel I have to prove I'm right about something. And when it does happen, it's over something so insignificant that I should probably be shot for wasting my time trying to prove a needless point.
So here's my excuse to all of this rubbish. Burnout. Not necessarly from the work environment, but with everything I do. I do too much and expect too little in return. It's a very inefficient way to get through life. Therefore, I often see those rainy days that I wish the world would just come to and end so all of us fuckups can be put out of our misery.
I really do envy those that can pretty much get anything they want out of something effortlessly. It's normal practice for me to pour my heart and soul into things only to have it blow up in my face. At times it angers me and makes me feel like my purpose in life is to be an example to everyone else on how matters on not supposed to be handled.
But from time to time, I feel I have to prove I'm right about something. And when it does happen, it's over something so insignificant that I should probably be shot for wasting my time trying to prove a needless point.
So here's my excuse to all of this rubbish. Burnout. Not necessarly from the work environment, but with everything I do. I do too much and expect too little in return. It's a very inefficient way to get through life. Therefore, I often see those rainy days that I wish the world would just come to and end so all of us fuckups can be put out of our misery.
I really do envy those that can pretty much get anything they want out of something effortlessly. It's normal practice for me to pour my heart and soul into things only to have it blow up in my face. At times it angers me and makes me feel like my purpose in life is to be an example to everyone else on how matters on not supposed to be handled.