Random thoughts
A few random thoughts before I turn in for the night...
I'm fucknig sore as hell from work and wearing high heels. I like dressing up and stuff, but seriously, it's crap. My legs don't want to move, and even now they're cramping.
"Yeah, Livejournal is like the emo Diaryland." Do you guys remember diaryland? It's all left behind. I remember when diaryland was the shit, and the only shit. Then it was Livejournal. Now everyone's slowly recruiting to greatestjournal and myspace. When will the madness end??
Mitch Hedberg died, which is really sad. He was a truely funny guy. You should do some research, or better yet, just go to http://www.involution.com/mitchquotes.php to read what he's said. I swear you'll find him funny!
"No I don't know what it's like to be you. But I know what it's like to be me. It's lonely and it hurts."- love love LOVE this quote! I heard it on TV randomly as I was passing by, and I think it suits me right now.
I'm so tired I'm about to collapse, but I need to shower before tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm probably hanging out after school with Drew. Yep. Mom actually said yes... she said no at first, but we agreed that if Heather goes with us, it'd be okay. I love hanging out with him! I should bring him to McDonald's to meet Josh, since I can't exactly bring Josh to Drew since it won't be until May 19th that he gets out of jail...
Oh gosh! Nothing can ruin my good mood. I just want to go back to work and do it all again, over and over again. It was wonderful! So lovely, so innocent. Shit... I've gotten attached. I've got to learn not to get attached.
That's how you get hurt, right?
Well, so I'm a bit attached to Josh, but I always have been. You can ask my ex, Travis- I talked about Josh more than anyone from work. Always. I mean, we were hired together- hell, I helped him fill out his application forms. I've always thought he was wonderful, always. I'm more attached to him then Drew I think... not like romantically, but as a person. He's interesting and fun, and it helps that he's SOOOOOOO cute! Oh my gosh, I could never go out with him because of age, but it's so great just to have fun and flirt. Alot of times I think he's much like Drew- forgetting my age and all and just being there with me. It was so great for HIM to ask for the hug. If it had been me and Drew, or me and Matt, or me and anyone else, I'd be asking him... but I started walking away, and he said, "don't I get a hug?"
That STILL makes me smile... that simple gesture. For once I let go, did whatever felt right... and the guy asked for me first. You have no idea how wonderful that is. I know it's really really stupid to get caught up in a day of flirting, but it made me feel worth something... like somebody out there likes me a little bit in a way better than friendship. What if we did end up together? Josh is quite the gentleman, but in a funny, suave way. He's never gotten angry with me, or refused me a hug. He ALWAYS gives me money for food when I ask, even though HE'S the one in jail. When I ask for super-big cones, he knows JUST how I like 'em (McDonald's raunchy calendars, HAHA!). He understand my infatuation with chicken selects and ranch sauce, Christian music at church, and dying my hair for theater. He KNOWS me, and he listens to me too. I don't tell him every little detail of my life, but whenever I share with him a problem, he gives me the crappy, nonchalant answer that always seems appealing but no one else ever brings it up. I actually, honestly, only see one fault with him: that he's serving time in jail. Other than that.... he's perfect. he's not cocky, but he's confident. He has that hot, grunged-up style I love about him. He has a tongue piercing and tatoos, and he's completely not me. I would be mortified for him to see me in a play, but it's not in a bad way. I feel like I can be dependent of him, but independent of him. He has his life, I have mine. Oh yeah, he smokes. But you know, everyone has something about them, that little habit or addiction that they can't seem to let go of. We all know I have a couple of things, but he knows about them, and it's not that big of a deal to him... in fact, he has those same addictions (we're all so bad at McDonald's, lol). I'm laid-back around him, but I still get those butterflies. That's how I know that whatever this lovely, floaty mess of confusion is- I like it.
Maybe this is the beginning of great things to come.
Kristena
I'm fucknig sore as hell from work and wearing high heels. I like dressing up and stuff, but seriously, it's crap. My legs don't want to move, and even now they're cramping.
"Yeah, Livejournal is like the emo Diaryland." Do you guys remember diaryland? It's all left behind. I remember when diaryland was the shit, and the only shit. Then it was Livejournal. Now everyone's slowly recruiting to greatestjournal and myspace. When will the madness end??
Mitch Hedberg died, which is really sad. He was a truely funny guy. You should do some research, or better yet, just go to http://www.involution.com/mitchquotes.php to read what he's said. I swear you'll find him funny!
"No I don't know what it's like to be you. But I know what it's like to be me. It's lonely and it hurts."- love love LOVE this quote! I heard it on TV randomly as I was passing by, and I think it suits me right now.
I'm so tired I'm about to collapse, but I need to shower before tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm probably hanging out after school with Drew. Yep. Mom actually said yes... she said no at first, but we agreed that if Heather goes with us, it'd be okay. I love hanging out with him! I should bring him to McDonald's to meet Josh, since I can't exactly bring Josh to Drew since it won't be until May 19th that he gets out of jail...
Oh gosh! Nothing can ruin my good mood. I just want to go back to work and do it all again, over and over again. It was wonderful! So lovely, so innocent. Shit... I've gotten attached. I've got to learn not to get attached.
That's how you get hurt, right?
Well, so I'm a bit attached to Josh, but I always have been. You can ask my ex, Travis- I talked about Josh more than anyone from work. Always. I mean, we were hired together- hell, I helped him fill out his application forms. I've always thought he was wonderful, always. I'm more attached to him then Drew I think... not like romantically, but as a person. He's interesting and fun, and it helps that he's SOOOOOOO cute! Oh my gosh, I could never go out with him because of age, but it's so great just to have fun and flirt. Alot of times I think he's much like Drew- forgetting my age and all and just being there with me. It was so great for HIM to ask for the hug. If it had been me and Drew, or me and Matt, or me and anyone else, I'd be asking him... but I started walking away, and he said, "don't I get a hug?"
That STILL makes me smile... that simple gesture. For once I let go, did whatever felt right... and the guy asked for me first. You have no idea how wonderful that is. I know it's really really stupid to get caught up in a day of flirting, but it made me feel worth something... like somebody out there likes me a little bit in a way better than friendship. What if we did end up together? Josh is quite the gentleman, but in a funny, suave way. He's never gotten angry with me, or refused me a hug. He ALWAYS gives me money for food when I ask, even though HE'S the one in jail. When I ask for super-big cones, he knows JUST how I like 'em (McDonald's raunchy calendars, HAHA!). He understand my infatuation with chicken selects and ranch sauce, Christian music at church, and dying my hair for theater. He KNOWS me, and he listens to me too. I don't tell him every little detail of my life, but whenever I share with him a problem, he gives me the crappy, nonchalant answer that always seems appealing but no one else ever brings it up. I actually, honestly, only see one fault with him: that he's serving time in jail. Other than that.... he's perfect. he's not cocky, but he's confident. He has that hot, grunged-up style I love about him. He has a tongue piercing and tatoos, and he's completely not me. I would be mortified for him to see me in a play, but it's not in a bad way. I feel like I can be dependent of him, but independent of him. He has his life, I have mine. Oh yeah, he smokes. But you know, everyone has something about them, that little habit or addiction that they can't seem to let go of. We all know I have a couple of things, but he knows about them, and it's not that big of a deal to him... in fact, he has those same addictions (we're all so bad at McDonald's, lol). I'm laid-back around him, but I still get those butterflies. That's how I know that whatever this lovely, floaty mess of confusion is- I like it.
Maybe this is the beginning of great things to come.
Kristena