//The same energy is now a dead battery...
So, TY is teh blonde now.
Which is something I've been wanting to re-do for a long time. I was blonde a year ago but it didn't last long because... I'm not sure. ..... I'll probably remember soon.
WELL, I'm blonde with red tips til I re-dye my hair again tomorrow. Bought more bleach already.
....I'm a bit nuts right now. I failed at the H'ween dance which means that I'm in self-renovation mode. If no one ..... desires me, it's all I can do.
Oh and I've been chopping my hair in weird places. ....It's like a state of losing my grip on reality. Cutting on a whim. .... some sort of depressive-coaping mechanism that I always do. ....when i get sad, I cut my hair. ...I'm a cutter. LAWLz!!!! Get it! A jokez!
Oh and since I lost my H'ween robot mask in the Van ride home from Vancouver.... I'm just gonna be a devil again this year. I have the pitchfork and the horns and the flame shirt and .... my hair has reddish tints (for now)... so maybe. ......who cares. ....not you, that's for sure.
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H'WEEN DANCE SYNOPSIS :
I guess, I should also comment on the H'ween Dance last Friday. ...umm... on the ride there I was singing songs and dancing and stuff, and being hyper crazy me that everyone is used to... and by the time I got there I REALLY had to urinate. heh ^^;; So I like ran inside and did my thang. Then me and george and Channy waited around on the inside because we are better then all the losers who had to wait outside. HA! And then the dance was open and we went in and put our clothes away and hit up the dance floor. ....and I was dancing and stuff.... but then I just stopped. I just couldn't find the point in dancing. Dancing is a ritualistic way of attracting mates in most cultures....but... what's the point. The only ones I wanted to dance with A) weren't there and B) weren't there YET. ... and those that did want to dance with me... were not at all my type. So many tried to dance with me and I was just like 'NO.' I'm an expert at giving evil dead cold glares of doom. .... so .... I kept dancing and shit even though I wasn't connecting wiht anyone and .... went outside to enjoy second hand smoke with friends then back in for the H'ween costume contest.
ANYHOO, so I'm watching the dance-off part of the competition and I look over to see Brody texting me. I had invited Brody to come weeks earlier since I miss him and only get so few chances to see him. I would have liked to talk to him about 'things' from the past that had been bugging me... but... it was too loud for me to hear anything, and we conversed by texting. Typical. That's the only way me and Brody have ever communicated. Text/type. And I was looking at him and kinda tilted my head to let him know, "yeah, it's me. Come over here you fool!" .... we checked in his jacket n stuff, and watched the costume contest which was very poorly set up. I'd have won had they you know... hovered their damn wand over my head instead of selecting five people from the start. I voted for Shorty.
So me and Brody danced, as friends, which is all I need. That's something that I respect about Brody.... no matter what drama we've had in the past, we always seem to restablish a basic level of friendship. ...something... I wish for from other people, sigh. Anyways, he touched my waist once and that got me physically-excited, it doesn't take much to stimulate me so .... we moved closer into the center of the human sea... but we didn't dance close after that. ...not close. ....not close enough. .... but ... I'll take the distance of seeing him, over not seeing him, anyday. ...blah, rambling. ....
So... .... we danced and texted about who we thought was hot at the dance. heh Black-Mesh-guy and hot-Robbie. .......and.... then before I knew it, cinderella had to leave the dance @11:30. ...I hugged him a short hug... I wanted more time. ....there's never enough time. I have unsorted buisness with Brody that rumbles around in my head from time to time. ... things that I'm 'over' but still... me and him have never talked about. .....sigh.
This feels like an LJ entry in depth. geez. Anyways after Brody left. I went back and danced with george Channy, Robbie, etc etc etc.
Heh Brad was part of a three way make out session. That's why his nickname is now 'Mantrain' with me and george. .....and what else is skanky.... OH, Chris got an air BJ from some random guy who ended up going home with him or something. WAY TO GO! Love is love is love is love.
......All around it was a good time. ...I kept getting myself down wishing a couple others were there. ....just my ex-y and my 'far, far away'. ....but still.... good times while they lasted. ....I cried on the way home. Sang sad songs. Felt unwanted, unloved, ugly, like I failed again. .... ....which is why I've gone crazy with my hair. ....maybe if I change myself again... .... maybe.... things can change with others.
....and that concludes my H'ween dance ramble.
Which is something I've been wanting to re-do for a long time. I was blonde a year ago but it didn't last long because... I'm not sure. ..... I'll probably remember soon.
WELL, I'm blonde with red tips til I re-dye my hair again tomorrow. Bought more bleach already.
....I'm a bit nuts right now. I failed at the H'ween dance which means that I'm in self-renovation mode. If no one ..... desires me, it's all I can do.
Oh and I've been chopping my hair in weird places. ....It's like a state of losing my grip on reality. Cutting on a whim. .... some sort of depressive-coaping mechanism that I always do. ....when i get sad, I cut my hair. ...I'm a cutter. LAWLz!!!! Get it! A jokez!
Oh and since I lost my H'ween robot mask in the Van ride home from Vancouver.... I'm just gonna be a devil again this year. I have the pitchfork and the horns and the flame shirt and .... my hair has reddish tints (for now)... so maybe. ......who cares. ....not you, that's for sure.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
H'WEEN DANCE SYNOPSIS :
I guess, I should also comment on the H'ween Dance last Friday. ...umm... on the ride there I was singing songs and dancing and stuff, and being hyper crazy me that everyone is used to... and by the time I got there I REALLY had to urinate. heh ^^;; So I like ran inside and did my thang. Then me and george and Channy waited around on the inside because we are better then all the losers who had to wait outside. HA! And then the dance was open and we went in and put our clothes away and hit up the dance floor. ....and I was dancing and stuff.... but then I just stopped. I just couldn't find the point in dancing. Dancing is a ritualistic way of attracting mates in most cultures....but... what's the point. The only ones I wanted to dance with A) weren't there and B) weren't there YET. ... and those that did want to dance with me... were not at all my type. So many tried to dance with me and I was just like 'NO.' I'm an expert at giving evil dead cold glares of doom. .... so .... I kept dancing and shit even though I wasn't connecting wiht anyone and .... went outside to enjoy second hand smoke with friends then back in for the H'ween costume contest.
ANYHOO, so I'm watching the dance-off part of the competition and I look over to see Brody texting me. I had invited Brody to come weeks earlier since I miss him and only get so few chances to see him. I would have liked to talk to him about 'things' from the past that had been bugging me... but... it was too loud for me to hear anything, and we conversed by texting. Typical. That's the only way me and Brody have ever communicated. Text/type. And I was looking at him and kinda tilted my head to let him know, "yeah, it's me. Come over here you fool!" .... we checked in his jacket n stuff, and watched the costume contest which was very poorly set up. I'd have won had they you know... hovered their damn wand over my head instead of selecting five people from the start. I voted for Shorty.
So me and Brody danced, as friends, which is all I need. That's something that I respect about Brody.... no matter what drama we've had in the past, we always seem to restablish a basic level of friendship. ...something... I wish for from other people, sigh. Anyways, he touched my waist once and that got me physically-excited, it doesn't take much to stimulate me so .... we moved closer into the center of the human sea... but we didn't dance close after that. ...not close. ....not close enough. .... but ... I'll take the distance of seeing him, over not seeing him, anyday. ...blah, rambling. ....
So... .... we danced and texted about who we thought was hot at the dance. heh Black-Mesh-guy and hot-Robbie. .......and.... then before I knew it, cinderella had to leave the dance @11:30. ...I hugged him a short hug... I wanted more time. ....there's never enough time. I have unsorted buisness with Brody that rumbles around in my head from time to time. ... things that I'm 'over' but still... me and him have never talked about. .....sigh.
This feels like an LJ entry in depth. geez. Anyways after Brody left. I went back and danced with george Channy, Robbie, etc etc etc.
Heh Brad was part of a three way make out session. That's why his nickname is now 'Mantrain' with me and george. .....and what else is skanky.... OH, Chris got an air BJ from some random guy who ended up going home with him or something. WAY TO GO! Love is love is love is love.
......All around it was a good time. ...I kept getting myself down wishing a couple others were there. ....just my ex-y and my 'far, far away'. ....but still.... good times while they lasted. ....I cried on the way home. Sang sad songs. Felt unwanted, unloved, ugly, like I failed again. .... ....which is why I've gone crazy with my hair. ....maybe if I change myself again... .... maybe.... things can change with others.
....and that concludes my H'ween dance ramble.