Probably.
I called this boy today. ...he gave me points. ^^ heh
We've been talking on stickam (Danny, B, and Steven have met him)... and being cute with each other... and naming our pillows and blankets after eachother... and after he signed off stickam I waited 3 minutes and then phoned him. He thought I was just gonna txt him, but I suprised him and so he gave me extra points. <3
His voice is hawt *blush*. ....but he lives near New York. :( ...but he promised that when he tours with his band, he'll take me to a concert. ...and it's just ... an online crush-thing.
...usually I'm not trusting. Especially of the online thing. or the long distance thing. or the webcam thing. or the compliments thing. and I don't trust myself when it comes to actually finding someone that makes my chest heavy like it is. ....but I'm tired of not having any outlet to feel loved, or express love in all it's different forms. So I'm gonna go for this thing. I'll get hurt. We all do. But we all heal. And atleast I know that. Scabs over scabs. Hope is not added to the equation this time, I know this one is stupid with no hope. ...but at least it won't drag on forever, toying with my heart. And I can accept it for what it is. ...the yearning for love.
...I'm not gonna close of the rest of the world. THAT would be naive. I'm still gonna keep at what I'm doing, and hope for the best. I mean... Derrik did want to hug me 3 times last Saturday <3<3<3. And I know that I don't want a boyfreind anymore... just an outlet. ^^ lol And no, I'm not gonna be some promiscious whore.
I know how crazy this all sounds. And from some unconnected third person perspective, this probably seems stupid when taken out of context. I know that. I see that.
But, maybe I'm crazy.
L8R.
(PS. I'm getting my lip ring wednesday or thursday with Page. <3∞ )
We've been talking on stickam (Danny, B, and Steven have met him)... and being cute with each other... and naming our pillows and blankets after eachother... and after he signed off stickam I waited 3 minutes and then phoned him. He thought I was just gonna txt him, but I suprised him and so he gave me extra points. <3
His voice is hawt *blush*. ....but he lives near New York. :( ...but he promised that when he tours with his band, he'll take me to a concert. ...and it's just ... an online crush-thing.
...usually I'm not trusting. Especially of the online thing. or the long distance thing. or the webcam thing. or the compliments thing. and I don't trust myself when it comes to actually finding someone that makes my chest heavy like it is. ....but I'm tired of not having any outlet to feel loved, or express love in all it's different forms. So I'm gonna go for this thing. I'll get hurt. We all do. But we all heal. And atleast I know that. Scabs over scabs. Hope is not added to the equation this time, I know this one is stupid with no hope. ...but at least it won't drag on forever, toying with my heart. And I can accept it for what it is. ...the yearning for love.
...I'm not gonna close of the rest of the world. THAT would be naive. I'm still gonna keep at what I'm doing, and hope for the best. I mean... Derrik did want to hug me 3 times last Saturday <3<3<3. And I know that I don't want a boyfreind anymore... just an outlet. ^^ lol And no, I'm not gonna be some promiscious whore.
I know how crazy this all sounds. And from some unconnected third person perspective, this probably seems stupid when taken out of context. I know that. I see that.
But, maybe I'm crazy.
L8R.
(PS. I'm getting my lip ring wednesday or thursday with Page. <3∞ )