Me and Billy Luv don't wanna fuck your girlfriends
Listen: I'm sitting outside of some bar in Dunedin, Florida with Bill E. Luv. It's around 2am and the throng of people from inside are starting to disperse onto the sidewalk. You know how bars are at this time; everbody makes a last ditch effort to pick up someone or find something else to do. A kind of a sad, begging ambience which is the final proof that the party is over. As Billy and I are standing outside of the bar smoking cigarettes, a not-too-unattractive (but nothing amazing) girl in a horizontally-striped green and white t-shirt starts talking to me. She's a bit dumb, but nice, so I start joking around about her shirt. As I'm about to go into whatever lame punch line I had, a guy standing off to the side of her looks over at me and goes "don't even finish it, dude. That's my girlfriend." A bunch of people get quiet as if this guy is actually going to do something to me. Me and Billy start laughing. The girl looks at me, smiles (in a sort of Tina Turner "Ike doesn't always act like this!" kind of way), and waves good-bye as he drags her off.
This pisses me off/amuses me on many levels. 1.) Your girlfriend walked up and started talking to me, not vice-versa. 2.) Your girlfriend probably isn't hitting on me. 3.) I'm certainly not hitting on your girlfriend 4.) If your faith in this girl's monogamy is so brittle that you think she'll be swayed by two fags with Brian Jones haircuts who she met outside of a bar at 2am WHILE YOU WERE WITH HER, you might wanna look into getting a different girlfriend 5.) People of the opposite sex sometimes talk to each other. It doesn't mean they are going to go run off into a bush and have sex. 6.) Not letting your girlfriend talk to other people is probably a really good way to drive her away from you (and into the arms of Bill E Luv!)
Dragging your girlfriend away like an ape is probably really "cute!" and endearing to a certain kind of (really dumb) girl. However, most of the girls I've dated would find this to be annoying and embarrasing. Like, I guess it's kind of romantic, but it also tends to point towards a restraining order in the not-so-distant future.
Making a scene about it also kind of implies that you secretely think your girlfriend is a slut.
Anyways, typical American bullshit. A cologne-infested dickhead who thinks he owns his girlfriend. I may be an asshole, but I never pulled that shit with anybody I dated. Just walk away, or kindly ask her not to talk to other guys after you get home. Don't drag other people into it. Completely ridiculous. Have some self-respect, and have some respect for your girlfriend's social freedom.
I don't know why I'm bothering to write this, but it just got me thinking.
Amen.
This pisses me off/amuses me on many levels. 1.) Your girlfriend walked up and started talking to me, not vice-versa. 2.) Your girlfriend probably isn't hitting on me. 3.) I'm certainly not hitting on your girlfriend 4.) If your faith in this girl's monogamy is so brittle that you think she'll be swayed by two fags with Brian Jones haircuts who she met outside of a bar at 2am WHILE YOU WERE WITH HER, you might wanna look into getting a different girlfriend 5.) People of the opposite sex sometimes talk to each other. It doesn't mean they are going to go run off into a bush and have sex. 6.) Not letting your girlfriend talk to other people is probably a really good way to drive her away from you (and into the arms of Bill E Luv!)
Dragging your girlfriend away like an ape is probably really "cute!" and endearing to a certain kind of (really dumb) girl. However, most of the girls I've dated would find this to be annoying and embarrasing. Like, I guess it's kind of romantic, but it also tends to point towards a restraining order in the not-so-distant future.
Making a scene about it also kind of implies that you secretely think your girlfriend is a slut.
Anyways, typical American bullshit. A cologne-infested dickhead who thinks he owns his girlfriend. I may be an asshole, but I never pulled that shit with anybody I dated. Just walk away, or kindly ask her not to talk to other guys after you get home. Don't drag other people into it. Completely ridiculous. Have some self-respect, and have some respect for your girlfriend's social freedom.
I don't know why I'm bothering to write this, but it just got me thinking.
Amen.