*waves weakly* hey guys
I haven't dropped off the face of the planet, even though that's what it feels like. Even to me. I never realized exactly how losing your job affects a person. It's like I stopped being me exactly and my life was (still is to be truthful) in a holding pattern waiting to start again. I totally pulled into myself, even away from people out in the flesh and blood world. But, hey, my house has never been cleaner. :D
When I realized what a tailspin I was in I really started to worry that I'd crash in a bout of crippling depression (been known to happen) the kind that leaves you laying in bed trying to find the energy to roll over. That hasn't happened though and I feel like I've been waiting for that shoe to drop too. It's like all I've been doing is waiting for something to happen.
I am employed again, thank all the little gods. It's not a driving job, in fact I'm working at a grocery store. Not as a clerk, (although I had to learn that as part of the training and it wasn't bad actually) I'm working in the back room as one of those people who take care of ad pricing and invoices and signage and that sort of thing. It's not a bad job, I've only been at it three weeks, but I like it and the people I work with well enough. It's not full time and the pay is lower than I was making so we're just getting by but we are getting by.
It's less stressful that's for sure. I'm happier, I think. The Boy and The Man have both made comment that my moods are better than they'd been near the end of the last job. I just need to whip the social anxiety in the ass and get myself back out there with all ya'll.
You know I haven't even been following the news until the last week? Me, a soap-boxer for digital rights and personal responsibility and I've gone over two months without cracking a news site. I haven't even logged on to twitter since some time in january I think. I feel guilty so I don't do anything then I feel guiltier so I do less and it's an evil spiral. I haven't even been lurking anyplace out of some sort of guilt for not wanting to interact. (I have overactive guilt I suppose :(
I do miss ya'll and I think about my friends out here in the digital world and what I ought to be saying to ya'll at any given time. I need to work on transitioning my thoughts to the ends of my fingertips I suppose. That's always been hard for me.
So, I'm going to try to catch up with everybody. I may not comment, but I will be reading and I will get my ass back on twitter for the ease of communication if nothing else. (tho due to my smart phone breaking in a not covered by warranty way (stupid limited protection plan) my connectivity is limited. Also I can't use my phone at work except on break, which given the type of work I do doesn't always happen. It's only a six hour shift tho so that's not horrible. And I totally lost track of what I was doing with the parentheses so we'll just skip trying to put them back in shall we.
Gotta go finish getting ready for work. (are there more satisfying phrases?) Repeat after me: I will not pussy out on getting back online and social and will do more catching up this afternoon.
Wish me luck.
This entry was originally posted at http://ranua.dreamwidth.org/163947.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
When I realized what a tailspin I was in I really started to worry that I'd crash in a bout of crippling depression (been known to happen) the kind that leaves you laying in bed trying to find the energy to roll over. That hasn't happened though and I feel like I've been waiting for that shoe to drop too. It's like all I've been doing is waiting for something to happen.
I am employed again, thank all the little gods. It's not a driving job, in fact I'm working at a grocery store. Not as a clerk, (although I had to learn that as part of the training and it wasn't bad actually) I'm working in the back room as one of those people who take care of ad pricing and invoices and signage and that sort of thing. It's not a bad job, I've only been at it three weeks, but I like it and the people I work with well enough. It's not full time and the pay is lower than I was making so we're just getting by but we are getting by.
It's less stressful that's for sure. I'm happier, I think. The Boy and The Man have both made comment that my moods are better than they'd been near the end of the last job. I just need to whip the social anxiety in the ass and get myself back out there with all ya'll.
You know I haven't even been following the news until the last week? Me, a soap-boxer for digital rights and personal responsibility and I've gone over two months without cracking a news site. I haven't even logged on to twitter since some time in january I think. I feel guilty so I don't do anything then I feel guiltier so I do less and it's an evil spiral. I haven't even been lurking anyplace out of some sort of guilt for not wanting to interact. (I have overactive guilt I suppose :(
I do miss ya'll and I think about my friends out here in the digital world and what I ought to be saying to ya'll at any given time. I need to work on transitioning my thoughts to the ends of my fingertips I suppose. That's always been hard for me.
So, I'm going to try to catch up with everybody. I may not comment, but I will be reading and I will get my ass back on twitter for the ease of communication if nothing else. (tho due to my smart phone breaking in a not covered by warranty way (stupid limited protection plan) my connectivity is limited. Also I can't use my phone at work except on break, which given the type of work I do doesn't always happen. It's only a six hour shift tho so that's not horrible. And I totally lost track of what I was doing with the parentheses so we'll just skip trying to put them back in shall we.
Gotta go finish getting ready for work. (are there more satisfying phrases?) Repeat after me: I will not pussy out on getting back online and social and will do more catching up this afternoon.
Wish me luck.
This entry was originally posted at http://ranua.dreamwidth.org/163947.html. Please comment there using OpenID.