But I Wasn't.
My therapist is gone.
Exactly the scenario that I had feared/pictured, was in fact...fact.
He either died sometime over the weekend or the beginning of the week; the therapist he shared the suite with went to his apt this morning and had the cops get into it and they found him. I assume he'd had a heart attack since he smoked at least as much as me (if not more) and never looked as if he was in the best of health. We won't find out for sure until the coroner's job is done.
This is all very surreal to me. This morning I got a call from his cell, and I had a moment of relief when I saw it was him---but it was a policeman instead, going through the numbers trying to contact family members. He wouldn't tell me what the deal was, but I knew, and it was confirmed by calling someone else. Long story.
Anyway.
I am knocked for a loop by this.
This man has helped me so much, especially in the last 4 months. His support and patience and insight meant (mean) the world to me. I feel a bit lost since he was my sounding board and my ally. At first I was sort of numbed and stunned, the entire thing is so surreal. But as the day and night have gone on, my heart hurts and the reality of not having him there to talk to is sinking in hard. I told him everything and I have lost a person who was/is of major importance to me. He helped me to start taking care of myself. I am so utterly grateful to him for his support and belief in me, in my potential and ability to grow and change.
So I'll probably write more about him and all this later. Right now it's late and I'm going to try and wind down and get some rest. It has been a very stressful, disorienting and sad day.
Exactly the scenario that I had feared/pictured, was in fact...fact.
He either died sometime over the weekend or the beginning of the week; the therapist he shared the suite with went to his apt this morning and had the cops get into it and they found him. I assume he'd had a heart attack since he smoked at least as much as me (if not more) and never looked as if he was in the best of health. We won't find out for sure until the coroner's job is done.
This is all very surreal to me. This morning I got a call from his cell, and I had a moment of relief when I saw it was him---but it was a policeman instead, going through the numbers trying to contact family members. He wouldn't tell me what the deal was, but I knew, and it was confirmed by calling someone else. Long story.
Anyway.
I am knocked for a loop by this.
This man has helped me so much, especially in the last 4 months. His support and patience and insight meant (mean) the world to me. I feel a bit lost since he was my sounding board and my ally. At first I was sort of numbed and stunned, the entire thing is so surreal. But as the day and night have gone on, my heart hurts and the reality of not having him there to talk to is sinking in hard. I told him everything and I have lost a person who was/is of major importance to me. He helped me to start taking care of myself. I am so utterly grateful to him for his support and belief in me, in my potential and ability to grow and change.
So I'll probably write more about him and all this later. Right now it's late and I'm going to try and wind down and get some rest. It has been a very stressful, disorienting and sad day.