[Dispatch #001]

[rankyakukaku]

Hello there, everyone on the 'network

Comments

[tapdancinskelly]

Hello Kaku, my name is Brooke, it's a pleasure to meet you. I was wondering... If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching or pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?

[rankyakukaku]

Well, vanilla, naturally, providing that my taste buds aren't seared from making love to the burning flames.

You would be Dead Bones Brooke, would you not?

[tapdancinskelly]

Dead to the bone Brooke at your service. Yohohoho! Although I must admit, I do prefer simply Brooke.

[rankyakukaku]

Pleasure to meet you, Brooke, I'm Kaku.

My, that's extraordinary, isn't it.

[tapdancinskelly]

I think I remember some of the crew mentioning you before.

Ah, so I see you must have already heard of my incredible skill of being able to...
BEND IN A 45 DEGREE ANGLE!! Yohohoho!

[rankyakukaku]

Did they?

Hahaha, I hadn't, but that's quite an amusing party trick! I'm sure it's quite popular.

[tapdancinskelly]

Some of them spoke quite fondly of you, while others with a hint of resentment. I personally tend to think you're a nice guy at heart.

I was trying another party trick today... but that hasn't seemed to work out well for me. Yohohoho!

[rankyakukaku]

...Aha. Well, that's good to know, I suppose.

Goodness. Has it just come off, or have you lost it completely?

[tapdancinskelly]

It just sort of came off and won't come back on.

[rankyaku_kaku]

That seems troublesome.

...Are you seeing out of the eyesockets of your detached skull, or some odd perspective hovering above your severed neck, I wonder?

[tapdancinskelly]

The detached skull, although it's an interesting theory you had there. It does make it so it be all too dizzying to try juggling with my detached head, which was another party trick I was going for.

[rankyakukaku]

That would be something to see. It certainly seems like it must be very disorienting; I suppose you must be careful not to let your body stub its toe. Or accidentally walk overboard.

[tapdancinskelly]

Well to be honest I haven't dare leave my room yet in the fear that I might accidentally do such a thing. You have noooo idea how hungry I am. Yohohoho!

[rankyakukaku]

Aren't your 'nakama' looking out for you? The cook in particular doesn't seem the type to let you go hungry.

[tapdancinskelly]

Hmm... you know he might feed me if I asked him to, but he hasn't dropped by the room and I hadn't thought about it.