One Piece - Why Do You Suck So Much, Fandom?
To: Select Members of One Piece Fandom
Attn: 'Special' One Piece Fan Authors at The Pit
Congratulations!
You suck so much I can't even muster the right words to express how speechless I am. You have done it. I applaud you. By surprise you've taken a huge chunk of the One Piece Fan Fiction pie and transformed it into a rotting death marsh. And you're still chomping, chomping, and chomping without any signs of stopping! What a persistence!
You unleash an abomination whenever you proudly click that SUBMIT button with your pudgy finger. Feel that rumble? That's another brain destroyed. I bet you weep with joy every time you manage to birth another monster into this fandom (which is about every chocolate cycle). From your stunted summaries to your even more stunted characterization, you've awed me. Truly, you have.
Pages and pages of the highest-grade shit, pardon my Skypiean, filled this little corner of One Piece section at The Pit. Your shit. Please, stop the diarrhea. There isn't enough room in this space continuum for your ego.
Let's be peaceful. I respect your rights to write and publish. If it weren't for my last foolish and strictly voluntary venture to The Pit in desperate attempt to find a good fic (for a specific pairing, I may add), this rant would not materialize. Honestly? I had the thought of leaving many of you reviews, but that would mean taking up a Luffy-esque proportion of a task and I am just not as tough as the Captain is. Hence, this letter filled with a year of pent-up frustration.
I understand that this is my personal sentiment. I am looking down at you. Down, down, waaaay down. Accept it. I am taking the Snob niche here (it's mine, not sharing, nyah nyah) and I intend to fully act befitting its title. It's not because I am an exceptional fan writer or a knowledgeable canon purist. Enel forbid. I'm just a commoner. But I am a commoner with a dream! A dream! A dream of a higher standard in the One Piece fan fiction corner; a standard in which the majority of One Piece fics will not have the misspellings of every day's words or a character's name; a standard where canon characters have good chance to shine and show their true personalities as opposed to their pod persons!
You, apparently, won't have a place in this dream of mine. You will be a forgotten part of the history--just like the Oharas are, except that they're literate and you're not.
Still, it's a dream. That means it may or may not come true. I'll just have to give it my best.
You know what? I'm not as vexed as I was at the beginning of this letter. Writing it helps me put my emotions at check. Maybe I'll go ahead and finish that piece of concrit I was mulling over. I'm going to erase the bit where I'd written : "...please for the love of an okama, stop writing!" because it's not nice and quite harsh.
Okama has feelings.
You don't.
Bitch.