(no subject)
Things are sluggish, at best. I feel like a car that's unwilling to start unless given a push, a jump, and new parts. My project feels like its becoming a failure of one. I am actually going to go to class and willingly tell Gene that I have no idea what I am doing, and I need help. I will bring in the home movie stuff, and maybe some of that will do something. I am really so far gone on this project. I read some of my older entries and found that I do feel lost before an epiphany, but so far, I haven't reached that peak yet. I just hope Gene isn't disappointed or annoyed, but rather is willing to help me figure out just what it is that I want to do.
I have done some of the things suggested, but I don't know how any of it will fit into anything I am doing. And my mom is leaving in two weeks for her vacation...
I have been feeling alternately depressed and anxious lately. Rob and I hung out with my sister, her husband, and angie's friend hahn and drank all saturday night. It was real cool, but then sunday I got wicked depressed, especially thinking about how lost I feel. That's when I started to reread some old journal entries and started to feel better cause I realized how much of my feelings I was ignoring when I was with matt. I had a lot of private entries that confided that I was so unhappy, that he was so terrible to me, and it just seemed like every other entry was "he's mad at me..." or "things were going so well until..." And then I think about how much I have now, and I feel good. But I can't help but put that good feeling to a halt because that this happiness is temporary.
Well, I dont think this entry helped me to any conclusions. I wish it had. I don't feel any better having put words down.
I have done some of the things suggested, but I don't know how any of it will fit into anything I am doing. And my mom is leaving in two weeks for her vacation...
I have been feeling alternately depressed and anxious lately. Rob and I hung out with my sister, her husband, and angie's friend hahn and drank all saturday night. It was real cool, but then sunday I got wicked depressed, especially thinking about how lost I feel. That's when I started to reread some old journal entries and started to feel better cause I realized how much of my feelings I was ignoring when I was with matt. I had a lot of private entries that confided that I was so unhappy, that he was so terrible to me, and it just seemed like every other entry was "he's mad at me..." or "things were going so well until..." And then I think about how much I have now, and I feel good. But I can't help but put that good feeling to a halt because that this happiness is temporary.
Well, I dont think this entry helped me to any conclusions. I wish it had. I don't feel any better having put words down.