Keep Runnin' Your Dick Sucker...
...and you will actually be successful, and history will not see you become Her Empress the Grand Cooch of the DurrDurrs.
Scientists discover most fertile Irish male
DUBLIN (Reuters) - Scientists in Ireland may have found the country's most fertile male, with more than 3 million men worldwide among his offspring.
The scientists, from Trinity College Dublin, have discovered that as many as one in twelve Irish men could be descended from Niall of the Nine Hostages, a 5th-century warlord who was head of the most powerful dynasty in ancient Ireland. His genetic legacy is almost as impressive as Genghis Khan,
the Mongol emperor who conquered most of Asia in the 13th century and has nearly 16 million descendants, said Dan Bradley, who supervised the research.
"It's another link between profligacy and power," Bradley told Reuters. "We're the first generation on the planet where if you're successful you don't (always) have more children."
Well goddamn, Watson, I wonder why the fuckity fuck that could be? Forget today's society being "fast paced", requiring a sacrifice of time on behalf of the successful that would normally be dedicated to spawning (applies to men as well as women in this sense - it takes a fertile-yet-disappointing man about 15 seconds to sire children with a willing woman, but multiply that by about twenty bajillion and throw in some unwilling wives and conquests and we're talking serious amounts of time spent out of the office).
My theory on why we are the first wave of people to be successful without breeding oceans of xeroxes, which is of course correct simply because it's my theory, is that the practice of fuckreating your own army can only secure success until you propagate yourself out of space - that is, you start running out of brood mares from which your studs are genetically distinct. You slowly start shoveling slag into your gene pool until, eventually, it's a mud puddle. Sure, you'll have millions of descendants centuries from now, but it will not serve your longterm goals very well if their names are Duurrr, Uunnghhh, Hahahahah, Eeee Eeee, Fiftysix!, and *drool*.
Not being a member of Team Ooblah (they arrive at games in The Shortbus TM), I'm even more confident than I was before that I will indeed rule up in this bitch one day very soon. I'm coming to take what I want - do not stand against me. As I will leave no heirs, I have no sense of responsibility tied to whatever I steal from you, either. Wordy McMotherFucking word - it's all mine! Gooooooooo HEDONISM! HEY!
Scientists discover most fertile Irish male
DUBLIN (Reuters) - Scientists in Ireland may have found the country's most fertile male, with more than 3 million men worldwide among his offspring.
The scientists, from Trinity College Dublin, have discovered that as many as one in twelve Irish men could be descended from Niall of the Nine Hostages, a 5th-century warlord who was head of the most powerful dynasty in ancient Ireland. His genetic legacy is almost as impressive as Genghis Khan,
the Mongol emperor who conquered most of Asia in the 13th century and has nearly 16 million descendants, said Dan Bradley, who supervised the research.
"It's another link between profligacy and power," Bradley told Reuters. "We're the first generation on the planet where if you're successful you don't (always) have more children."
Well goddamn, Watson, I wonder why the fuckity fuck that could be? Forget today's society being "fast paced", requiring a sacrifice of time on behalf of the successful that would normally be dedicated to spawning (applies to men as well as women in this sense - it takes a fertile-yet-disappointing man about 15 seconds to sire children with a willing woman, but multiply that by about twenty bajillion and throw in some unwilling wives and conquests and we're talking serious amounts of time spent out of the office).
My theory on why we are the first wave of people to be successful without breeding oceans of xeroxes, which is of course correct simply because it's my theory, is that the practice of fuckreating your own army can only secure success until you propagate yourself out of space - that is, you start running out of brood mares from which your studs are genetically distinct. You slowly start shoveling slag into your gene pool until, eventually, it's a mud puddle. Sure, you'll have millions of descendants centuries from now, but it will not serve your longterm goals very well if their names are Duurrr, Uunnghhh, Hahahahah, Eeee Eeee, Fiftysix!, and *drool*.
Not being a member of Team Ooblah (they arrive at games in The Shortbus TM), I'm even more confident than I was before that I will indeed rule up in this bitch one day very soon. I'm coming to take what I want - do not stand against me. As I will leave no heirs, I have no sense of responsibility tied to whatever I steal from you, either. Wordy McMotherFucking word - it's all mine! Gooooooooo HEDONISM! HEY!