JUST STAY AWAY for awhile
ok....this weekend was pretty good. i had my b day party on saturday and got to hang out with all my friends. it was fun. on sunday, kevin called and asked if he could come over, and i was like duh. well later, me him and kelly are on the bed and he is talking to kelly and he was like, "i am bored, i only came over to see you" he acted like i wasnt even there. it made me feel like i was invisible for some reason. i dont know, maybe i was just in a weird mood. and this next thing, i dont really know if i should be mad about it. i know that i kinda should, but i dont know. i was online, and i was talking to moey, and we have been planning a trip to indiana, and she tells me last night that i dont need to go cause she found somebody else to go. i was a lil upset. she called later and said i could still go, but, i dont want to now. cause i really wanted it to be just me and her, ya know, like a way for just us 2 to hang. well thats all down the drain. am i that replacable? i am starting to think that the only true friend that i have is jenny and kelly. i know that kevin is my friend, but yea. maybe i am just being a bitch, but i am just getting so sick and damn tired of people thinking that they can just walk all over me and i will just sit there and let them. one of these days i am going to snap. people are just going to push me way to far, and i will end up saying things that people do not want to hear me say.
another thing that is pissing me off is that my dad is always freaking drunk. its like an everyday thing. i am seriously thinking about moving back in with my mom. the only trouble is that i dont want to hurt my dad. that is the only problem, i always give up my happiness to make him happy, and even though i am here, he still isnt happy. i just dont know what to do. god: i know that i never pray or go to church, but, if you could just do me one really big favor. will you get my dad to stop drinking? its just going to end up killing him and i dont want to lose him. i love him very much! i know that i may not show it all the time but i do. and i want him to be happy. it just kills me to see him wasted all the time. and i know what happened with me on saturday was wrong, but, it was fun, and i do plan on doing it again, but, i will never become like my dad is. i promise! i just need you to do me this one favor, i dont ask very much of you, except i could really use your help with this one. please? if he stops drinking maybe i could be happy as well?
even though i am depressed cause i know that i made a bad mistake by moving in here. i moved in here just so maybe my dad would stop drinking. well, did that work out? no, now i wish that i hadnt of left heathers house, cause i realy miss being over there. i miss being able to see my mom for a couple of hours each night, i miss talking to heather and mark, and i really miss, angus and sadie. i just dont really know how i could tell my dad that i want to move back in with my mother, it would just kill him in a great way.
another thing i wish would happen is that i would get a boyfriend. i know that i have complained about it before, but i just want somebody that i could laugh with, and enjoy being with. i thought that you were suppose to find your first love in high school, well that doesnt look like its going to happen to me. maybe i am destined to be alone all my life.
but i am done complaining, i have to go take a shower. bye ya'll.
another thing that is pissing me off is that my dad is always freaking drunk. its like an everyday thing. i am seriously thinking about moving back in with my mom. the only trouble is that i dont want to hurt my dad. that is the only problem, i always give up my happiness to make him happy, and even though i am here, he still isnt happy. i just dont know what to do. god: i know that i never pray or go to church, but, if you could just do me one really big favor. will you get my dad to stop drinking? its just going to end up killing him and i dont want to lose him. i love him very much! i know that i may not show it all the time but i do. and i want him to be happy. it just kills me to see him wasted all the time. and i know what happened with me on saturday was wrong, but, it was fun, and i do plan on doing it again, but, i will never become like my dad is. i promise! i just need you to do me this one favor, i dont ask very much of you, except i could really use your help with this one. please? if he stops drinking maybe i could be happy as well?
even though i am depressed cause i know that i made a bad mistake by moving in here. i moved in here just so maybe my dad would stop drinking. well, did that work out? no, now i wish that i hadnt of left heathers house, cause i realy miss being over there. i miss being able to see my mom for a couple of hours each night, i miss talking to heather and mark, and i really miss, angus and sadie. i just dont really know how i could tell my dad that i want to move back in with my mother, it would just kill him in a great way.
another thing i wish would happen is that i would get a boyfriend. i know that i have complained about it before, but i just want somebody that i could laugh with, and enjoy being with. i thought that you were suppose to find your first love in high school, well that doesnt look like its going to happen to me. maybe i am destined to be alone all my life.
but i am done complaining, i have to go take a shower. bye ya'll.