NQPWF Deadzone #1 (Part 1)
(clips are shown of The Climax winning the royal rumble)
(clips are also shown of Weapon X's vicious attack on Elmo Machete)
(scene cut to El Lobo standing in the ring to start the show)
El Lobo: I don't know what the hell happend at the Royal Rumble, but I was screwed. I had eliminated my way to the end and Climax was eliminated already, that belt is MINE! I Deserve it! Not this Climax guy. You know what I had to go through to to come here? I had to basically travel on an iceberg just to get off of Alaska. AND, in the meantime, I was criticized for doing it. People telling me that I'm never gonna make it over in the real states. For Crying out loud my father wanted me to be an ice fisher! BUT I WASN'T HAVING IT! And now, I'm being screwed out of a the one thing that I want! Climax doesn't want this! I DO! I deserve to be...
("Big In Japan" hits)
Stop Sign Bob: Wait a second Lobo. You honestly think you are deserving of a title shot? what the hell have you done lately? You jobbed in matches to Finno, Deathrow, and oh yeah, Ceej-Tank! How the hell can I let you get a shot at our World Title when you haven't won a match in a month?
El Lobo: I WAS SCREWED! EVERY SINGLE TIME AN INTERFIERENCE OR A WEAPON...
Stop Sign Bob: SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! Quite frankly I don't give a shit about you, or any matches that you've had. I don't care how many times you have won or how many titles you've held, and I certainly don't care about your boring ass background story. So you know what Lobo? This is what you gotta do to ever gain a World Title shot in this fed. You have to defeat, that's right, EVERY SINGLE MEMBER IN THE NQPWF! And if you don't beat every person in any match that I create for you, you will NEVER recieve another Title shot, with ANY title EVER AGAIN!
El Lobo: That's proposterous! What do you see me as? an under-rated midcarder who needs to show his place? I'M ABOVE THAT AND I DESERVE THAT TITLE SHOT!
Stop Sign Bob: Well seeing that I'm in charge, I COULD just say right now you'll never get a title shot again. So if you don't accept this generous offer, then it's tata to your career!
El Lobo: (Thinking to himself for a minute) ...Fine. But it's only because I'm extremely confident and driven to this title.
Stop Sign Bob: Well it's been a pleasure doing business with you, because your first opponent won't be a simple one...
(Stop Sign Bob leaves the ring with the camara fading out and Lobo standing in the ring annoyed and confused)
(Camara fades back up to the chairman office where Bob and Moe Esch are talking about what just occured)
Stop Sign Bob: Whew, well that was tough. I can't stand it when people abuse my power.
Moe Esch: Well they can't do anything about it, your in charge and you gotta lay the law down.
Stop Sign Bob: Heh you know what, you're right! Lobo really thinks he deserves a title shot and I'm putting him to the test. This should be a good learning expierience for him.
Moe Esch: Well if you don't think he deserves it, then who does?
Stop Sign Bob: (Puts arm around Moe) Heh Heh, you know what? I think I've gone long enough without a title shot, I've been doing a lot of work around the fed, hell pretty much 100% of it. So you know what, I'm gonna reward myself with a title shot tonight against The Climax. Just like the good old days.
Moe Esch: You really sure you wanna do this?
Stop Sign Bob: Just as long as I don't have to beat every person in the fed, I'll be fine!
(Moe and Bob both laugh as the scene cuts)
(Scene cuts to commentators)
Matti H: It looks like Lobo has got a real test coming up for him these next few weeks!
Christo: Well hopefully that Alaskan bear can pull it out okay.
Matti H: Indeed. Well it looks like we're gonna have an exciting show today! Tag Titles will be on the line as The Megastars have challenge the 4our 5ided Trian6le.
Christo: After the rumble, I'm suprized Elmo is even able to move!
Matti H: We'll also see The RWF in 6-man Tag action against The Dancin' Fool, Jeepers, and Murphy.
Christo: Well we know that Deathrow and the Fool have had a huge rivalry as of late after Deathrow took the New York Title away from him.
Matti H: and we can't forget what happend when Deathrow almost cost Jeepers the National Title.
(Clip shows Jeepers in a match against Brisk. Deathrow runs in and gives Jeepers 3 Death Penalty's. Right when he puts Brisk over to cover Jeepers, Dancin Fool runs in and gives the Get Down to both Deathrow and Brisk and then puts Jeepers over Brisk to have Jeepers retain the title.)
Christo: If it wasn't for the Fool, Jeepers would be titleless, but you can't help but think that Dancin Fool is more concerned about getting his own title back from Deathrow.
Matti H: Well any way you put it, they are all out for blood!
Christo: Don't forget our main event that was just announced, Climax getting his first title defence against the chairman Stop Sign Bob!
Matti H: And El Lobo will be in action, but we have no idea who against as of right now!
Christo: Expect this show to kick a lot of ass! let's get this kicked off with Chadwick Mcfarfigfoogalheimengotsmilkthethird announcing our first match!
Chadwick: Ladies and gentlepeople, It's my honor to introduce to you, Endless Mike!
("Dr. Worm" by They Might Be Giants hits as Endless Mike comes out talking on two cell phones at once while the crowd viciously boo's him)
Matti H: The NQPWF Sports Agent! You gotta love this guy!
(Endless Mike grabs a microphone)
Endless Mike: As you all know, I haven't had much success with my clients lately. Lobo had me fired in an instant, I couldn't get The Megastars the Tag Team Titles, I admit, I have failed recently. So here is what I'm gonna do. Tonight, I'm gonna scout this next match, and trust me, the winner will be getting a visit from me, and this time, I'm gonna sign the NEXT NQPWF WORLD CHAMPION!
(Endless Mike drops the mic and walks over to the commentary booth and sits down)
Chadwick: This match is schedualed for one fall.
("In Bloom" by Nirvana hits and the crowd boo's)
Chadwick: Making his way to the ring first, from the Bronx, New York weighing 210 lbs, Caged Heat!
(Caged Heat walks to the ring without paying attention to the booing fans)
("Sugar" by System of a down hits as the crowd gives a huge pop)
Chadwick: And his opponent, weighing 160 lbs from Foolsbury, Conneticuit, Tom Foolary!
(Tom Foolary skank dances down to the ring as the crowd gives him huge appreciation)
Matti H: And there's the bell and here goes our opening contest as we're joined here by Endless Mike!
Endless Mike: Hey guys real great to be here, I'm hoping to pick up a great rising star from this match to lead him to the NQPWF Championship!
Christo: Well that's a nice deal, i'd take it if I had some legs to wrestle with, which i do... but oh yeah the match, Caged Heat has the upper hand in the early on and hits a strong clothesline on Tom.
Endless Mike: It looks like The Foolary guy is a bit rusty and Heat is really putting him in a lot of pain, look at this beautiful arm lock! I'm impressed already!
Matti H: Well Tom has got the ropes and now Heat has got a cover, 1..2.. kick out! Heat brings him back up and it looks like Foolary is fighting back a bit. a bounce on the ropes, nice Swinging Neckbreaker!
Endless Mike: That move was great! Go Tom!
Christo: Now it looks like Tom is going for a headlock submission move himself to slow down Cage. Cage is slowing fighting back though, big elbow, and a nice Vertical Suplex!
Endless Mike: I changed my mind! Go Heat!
Christo: Heat now dropping a leg on Foolary and going for a cover. 1..2.. Kick Out! Goes for another cover 1..2.. another kick out. Foolary gets up dazed and Caged Heat is goin to the top lookin for a Double Axe Handle, but Foolary counters with a swift punch to the gut! And Foolary delivers a Bulldog!
Matti H: This match good enough for ya Mike?
Endless Mike: I have to say I am impressed, I could go either way right now!
Christo: Looks like Foolary goin for a cover and 1..2.. Heat kicks out! Foolary now looking to lock in the Foolsday Device, but it's reversed into a Crucifix Pin! 1..2.. Foolary kicks out! Heat is now picking Tom back up, but Tom knees him in the chest, bounces against the ropes and looks for the April Fool's, but it's countered and Heat kicks him in the chest, Fameasser! Heat goes for a cover! 1..2..3!! The Match is over!
Matti H: So have you been impressed Mike?
Endless Mike: Wow, I'm speechless! This match was great! I don't know who to sign!
Chadwick: Here is your winner, Caged Heat!!!
(Caged Heat leaves as the crowd boo's him)
Matti H: We're told right now we have El Sombrero backstage with Kayin Masaki, let's find out what's going on here!
(camara cuts to El Sombrero and Kayin backstage)
El Sombrero: Hola! I'm here with Kayin Masaki and I think he's mad or something, I have no idea!
Kayin Masaki: Well listen here, my time here in the NQPWF has been, well, for a lack of better words, dissapointing. My World Title reign ends before I can even defend it, and they said I was the real deal, the most marketable wrestler here. Well the fans and the crowd can kiss my ass! (Crowd noise boo's in the background) I'm gonna get back on the right track and to the top here by myself, and no one is gonna stop me! Because I brought the wrestling to the NQPWF, I brought the competition, and I'm now gonna show, that I can regain my...
(Savage walks in from the side and interrupts)
Savage: Excuse me? What's the problem here? All this bitching just woke my daughter up.
Kayin Masaki: Stay out of this, It's none of your business!
Savage: Well guess what? It is now! I'm sick and tired and of hearing all these wrestlers bitch and complain, aren't you like the 5th person to do so today?
Kayin Masaki: I'm not complaining I'm...
Savage: Yeah, you are. And Savage doesn't like that! Just listen, you keep your mouth shut and never wake my daughter up again, or I'll have your head at the top of my mantle with Patrovich, Weisman, and all those other teachers I killed.
(Savage walks away as you can hear the crowd cheer)
(Kayin stands there contemplative and walks away with fear in his eyes)
(Camara cuts to Caged Heat relaxing in his locker room after his match as he hears a knock on his door)
Caged Heat: Yes?
(Endless Mike is shown with papers in his hand)
Endless Mike: Hey! Heat!
Caged Heat: Hey... What's goin on?
Endless Mike: Listen man, Great match out there tonight! You really showed Foolary whose boss!
Caged Heat: Why thanks I apprecia...
Endless Mike: Listen to me. Right Here. Right Now. How would you like to get to the top?
Caged Heat: Like hold the World Title?
Endless Mike: Even better than that! I can have you famous! Ever been on Cereal Boxes, 8X10 Glossy's, Action Figures, Chunky Soup commercials????
Caged Heat: Well, no but I...
Endless Mike: Well listen man, if you stick with me, I'll get ya there. I'll get ya further than you've EVER been before!!!
Caged Heat: And what if you don't?
Endless Mike: (pauses for a minute) If you don't become the biggest NQPWF superstar by next year.... I give you full permission to fire me and humiliate me on television.
Caged Heat: (thinks to himself for a minute) Well, I have always dreamed on being on a box of Krinkle O's.
Endless Mike: Great! Just sign here... oh and here.... and here.... don't forget to initial here.... oh sign here... here too....
(Caged Heat signs the papers and shakes his hand and camara fades to Matti H and Christo)
Matti H: That was some crazy shit that just went down there! Caged Heat has just signed Endless Mike as his agent!
Christo: Oh and how about that confrontation that Kayin and Savage just had? I wonder what's gonna happen from there!
Matti H: Hey, looks like we got another match on our hands!
("Jumpdafuckup" by Soulfly hits)
Chadwick: This match is schedualed for one fall, introducing first, from Finncinnatti weighing 225 lbs, Finno!
(Finno walks down the rampway to a chorus of boo's)
(Finno gets in the ring and grabs a mic)
Finno: Shut up and listen to me! Lately, I've been in a really bad mood. I've lost the National Title to a Cat in the Hat freak, and I've been criticized for everything I've done. But you know what, I'm not havin it anymore! So come to the ring lucky victim, because now is not the time to mess with me!
("Crazy Insane" by Machal Montano hits and the crowd goes into a Tizzy)
Matti H: Whoohoo it's time for the Tizzy!
Chadwick: Making his way to the ring from Trinidad weighing 200 lbs, Carribean Jay!!!!
(Carribean Jay stops to pose at the entry way, and then runs to the ring)
Matti H: Looks like we're already getting under way here and Jay and finno are surpassing the lock up and going straight to brawling!
Christo: Two great wrestlers here tonight and they are here to fight and fight they shall, it looks like Finno has got him in an arm wrench, and a kick straight to the face! He's bringin him up again, and it looks like a snapmare followed by a great great kick to the back! Finno covers 1..2.. jay kicks out!
Matti H: Finno getting out some aggression ever since he lost that National title. It looks like he's got Jay in a armbar, but Jay rolls out of it and has a cover 1..2.. Finno kicks out! Both men getting back up again, Jay bouncing off the ropes and hits a Lou Thezs Press! Jay goes for another cover 1..2.. Kick Out! Jay getting Finno back up now and has him in a sleeper hold.
Christo: Jay having the upper hand right now and finno is looking a little shakey. The ref has got his hand up for 1..... 2..... and finno is still alive and he's fighting back! Jay whips Finno to the ropes, Jay goes for a clothesline, Finno ducks! turns around, DDT!
Matti H: Looks like Finno going for a cover 1...2... Kick Out!
Christo: Finno signaling that it may be over now! Finno picks up Jay looking for the Finnosher, but Jay sneaks out of it! He gets up, Reverse DDT!
Matti H: Now it looks like Jay is gonna go to the top rope maybe looking for his Flamingo Leg Drop, He hits it!!! Jay now goes for a cover 1...2...3...!!! Carribean Jay has won this match!
Chadwick: Here is your winner Carribean Jay!!!
Matti H: It looks like Jay is happy and he is gettin his crowd into a Tizzy!!! and everybodies happy! everybodies dancing!
Christo: Hey wait a second, Finno has got a chain and he's choking Carribean Jay with it! Here comes the NQPWF security to try to get him off, but Finno looks pissed! He won't let go of the chokehold and they are trying to tame him. It looks like he is finally letting go now but Carribean Jay looks hurt and the fans don't look happy.
Matti H: Well I gotta tell ya, Jay had it coming! Finno Was out for blood and I don't think this is gonna end here!
(camara cuts to backstage where Elmo, Randose, and Valerie are all in their locker room)
Randose: Listen man, we gotta focus on keeping these belts we can't worry about Weapon X right now.
Elmo: I Know, I Know. I am just shaken up. I didn't see it coming.
Randose: Well neither did I dude. He must still be holding a grudge over some stupid rivalry you two used to have.
Valerie: You guys need to focus on retaining these titles and I'll make sure Weapon X doesn't interfiere.
Elmo: You? You think you can hold back Weapon X?
Randose: Hey calm down dude it's not her fault.
Elmo: I know but seriously, you think she can stop Weapon from interfiering?
Valerie: I'm insulted!
Elmo: Don't be. I don't think 75% of the people in the NQPWF could stop Weapon from interfiering.
Valerie: I'm just trying to help... Geez get the cock out of your ass!
Randose: GUYS! STOP! Pretend like Weapon X isn't even here, I wanna keep these titles. These Megafags or whatever don't deserve them at all. This is our goal that we wanted to accomplish from the time we started back up, now let's just get our heads into this and win another tag match.
Elmo: Alright, I'm sorry.
Valerie: Yeah, me too.
Randose: Good, now let's go!
(Camara fades off them and goes to The Megastars Locker Room)
J-Magnum: Dude, are you ready brother?
Ceej-Tank: I'm sooooo ready bro!
Michael Matthews: You guys are Number 1! New NQPWF Tag Champs right here baby!!! You know why? Because you are the Beast!
Ceej-Tank: Oh hell yeah i'm the beast!
Michael Matthews: And You, are the Megastar!
J-Magnum: Damn right i'm the Megastar!
Michael Matthews: And before the night is over, it'll be Megastars, Tag Team Champions!
J-Magnum & Ceej-Tank: YOU ARE THE MASTER!
Michael Matthews: LET'S GO BOYS!!!!!
(camara cuts back to the ring)
Chadwick: The following contest is schedualed for one fall and is for the NQPWF Tag Team Championship!
("Superstar" by Saliva hits as the crowd boo's heavily)
Chadwick: Making their way to the ring first, the challengers, being accompanied by the Master Mad Man Michael Matthews, weighing in at a combined weight of 320 lbs, J-Magnum and Ceej-Tank, The Megastars!
(The Megastars walk out to the ring as the crowd continues to boo heavily)
Matti H: Alright! The Megastars are here! We got new tag champs coming soon!
Christo: Too bad it's against maybe the best team the has ever fought in the NQPWF!
("Maxwell Murder" by Rancid hits as the crowd begins to go nuts!)
Chadwick: Making their way to the ring being accompanied by Valerie, at a combined weight of 310 lbs, They are the current reigning NQPWF Tag Team champions, Elmo Machete and Randose, The 4our 5ided Trian6le!!!!!!!!
(Randose, Elmo, and Val come down to the ring high fiving the crowd as they continue to cheer)
Matti H: There's the bell and this match is under way! it looks like both members of both teams are battling in the ring and this ones set to be a real bloodbath. The Ref is telling them to go to their corners and it looks like Randose and Magnum are starting this match! a collar and elbow tie up, a wrist lock around the waist, Randose get's out of it, he wrenches Magnum's arm and slams his back to the ground! Randose gets him back up and whips him to the ropes and knocks him down with a shoulder block. he's got him covered 1..2.. Magnum kicks out! Randose flings across the ropes and hits a ground splash! cover again 1...2.. another kick out!
Christo: now lookin like Randose tagging in Elmo and they and both getting some stomping down on magnum as Ceej and Matthews look to be complaining, Elmo brings him back up and hits a snap suplex as Randose goes back to his corner. Elmo now goes for a cover 1...2... Magnum kicks out! Magnum getting away from Elmo quickly and he gets the tag into Ceej who clotheslines Elmo straight out of the blue, Ceej and Magnum looking for a double team manuever while Matthews has the ref distracted and they hit a solid double backdrop! Randose tries to get in but the Ref breaks it up and tells the illegal men to get back to their corners.
Matti H: Looks like Elmo is now being put in a half crab by Ceej Tank, Elmo not tappin out, he's crawling and he breaks the hold! Ceej goes for a cover 1...2... Elmo kicks out! Elmo trying to go for a tag but Ceej is preventing this. Ceej brings him up and hits a nice belly to belly suplex! He's now got Elmo's head on the ropes and tags in Magnum. Matthews holding Elmo's head on the ropes and Ceej and Magnum hit a double dropkick to Elmo's back! Valerie goes over to Matthews and makes sure he's off and Matthews runs away.
Christo: Magnum continuing to beat on Elmo and he hits him with a knee drop. Magnum bounces off the ropes and dropkick's Elmo's face! he goes for a cover 1...2.. Kick Out! Magnum picking Elmo back up, whips him to the corner and boots him in the face!!! Magnum now taunting the crowd but the crowd isn't having it, it looks like he's goin for a bronco buster, but elmo moves out of the way!!! Elmo desperately needs a tag here as both of these men look down. They are both crawling to their partners and they both got the tag! Randose with a right hand on Ceej! Ceej is brawling back with him, Randose lifts him up for a suplex, but it's countered and Ceej-Tank hits a suplex! goes for a cover 1...2.. Dose kicks out!
Matti H: Randose getting back up and it looks like Ceej-Tank lookin for an Enzuguri but it's countered and Randose slams him on the ground! Magnum is trying to grab Randose, but Randose knocks him off the apron! Hey wait a minute it looks like Weapon X is at the edge of the entryway! Randose doesn't seem to be paying any attention to him and he tags in Elmo. Him and Elmo whip Ceej-Tank to the ropes, Double clothesline!
Christo: Hey! it looks like Weapon X is trying to get down to the ring but Valerie is preventing him from doing so! Oh NO! He just grabbed Val's head and slammed it on the rampway! that's horrible! but inside the ring Randose and elmo have Ceej Tank set up for the Sweet N Low, and they hit it! Elmo goes to cover 1...2... hey wait a second! Weapon X pulls him out of the ring! Swift punch right to Elmo's Face! Randose trying to get out and help him but Ceej-Tank with a school boy! 1...2...3...!!!! He held the tights! and we have new Tag Team Champions!!!!
Matti H: And it looks like Weapon X is walking away from this mess he's created as Randose is trying to help his partner and manager up off the ground!
Christo: But in the ring we have a big celebration and the Megastars are the New Tag Champs!!!
Chadwick: Here are your winners and NEW NQPWF Tag Team Champions, The Megastars!
Matti H: This rivalry is far from over between Weapon X and the 4our 5ided Trian6le!
(Part 2 to be continued tomorrow)
(clips are also shown of Weapon X's vicious attack on Elmo Machete)
(scene cut to El Lobo standing in the ring to start the show)
El Lobo: I don't know what the hell happend at the Royal Rumble, but I was screwed. I had eliminated my way to the end and Climax was eliminated already, that belt is MINE! I Deserve it! Not this Climax guy. You know what I had to go through to to come here? I had to basically travel on an iceberg just to get off of Alaska. AND, in the meantime, I was criticized for doing it. People telling me that I'm never gonna make it over in the real states. For Crying out loud my father wanted me to be an ice fisher! BUT I WASN'T HAVING IT! And now, I'm being screwed out of a the one thing that I want! Climax doesn't want this! I DO! I deserve to be...
("Big In Japan" hits)
Stop Sign Bob: Wait a second Lobo. You honestly think you are deserving of a title shot? what the hell have you done lately? You jobbed in matches to Finno, Deathrow, and oh yeah, Ceej-Tank! How the hell can I let you get a shot at our World Title when you haven't won a match in a month?
El Lobo: I WAS SCREWED! EVERY SINGLE TIME AN INTERFIERENCE OR A WEAPON...
Stop Sign Bob: SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! Quite frankly I don't give a shit about you, or any matches that you've had. I don't care how many times you have won or how many titles you've held, and I certainly don't care about your boring ass background story. So you know what Lobo? This is what you gotta do to ever gain a World Title shot in this fed. You have to defeat, that's right, EVERY SINGLE MEMBER IN THE NQPWF! And if you don't beat every person in any match that I create for you, you will NEVER recieve another Title shot, with ANY title EVER AGAIN!
El Lobo: That's proposterous! What do you see me as? an under-rated midcarder who needs to show his place? I'M ABOVE THAT AND I DESERVE THAT TITLE SHOT!
Stop Sign Bob: Well seeing that I'm in charge, I COULD just say right now you'll never get a title shot again. So if you don't accept this generous offer, then it's tata to your career!
El Lobo: (Thinking to himself for a minute) ...Fine. But it's only because I'm extremely confident and driven to this title.
Stop Sign Bob: Well it's been a pleasure doing business with you, because your first opponent won't be a simple one...
(Stop Sign Bob leaves the ring with the camara fading out and Lobo standing in the ring annoyed and confused)
(Camara fades back up to the chairman office where Bob and Moe Esch are talking about what just occured)
Stop Sign Bob: Whew, well that was tough. I can't stand it when people abuse my power.
Moe Esch: Well they can't do anything about it, your in charge and you gotta lay the law down.
Stop Sign Bob: Heh you know what, you're right! Lobo really thinks he deserves a title shot and I'm putting him to the test. This should be a good learning expierience for him.
Moe Esch: Well if you don't think he deserves it, then who does?
Stop Sign Bob: (Puts arm around Moe) Heh Heh, you know what? I think I've gone long enough without a title shot, I've been doing a lot of work around the fed, hell pretty much 100% of it. So you know what, I'm gonna reward myself with a title shot tonight against The Climax. Just like the good old days.
Moe Esch: You really sure you wanna do this?
Stop Sign Bob: Just as long as I don't have to beat every person in the fed, I'll be fine!
(Moe and Bob both laugh as the scene cuts)
(Scene cuts to commentators)
Matti H: It looks like Lobo has got a real test coming up for him these next few weeks!
Christo: Well hopefully that Alaskan bear can pull it out okay.
Matti H: Indeed. Well it looks like we're gonna have an exciting show today! Tag Titles will be on the line as The Megastars have challenge the 4our 5ided Trian6le.
Christo: After the rumble, I'm suprized Elmo is even able to move!
Matti H: We'll also see The RWF in 6-man Tag action against The Dancin' Fool, Jeepers, and Murphy.
Christo: Well we know that Deathrow and the Fool have had a huge rivalry as of late after Deathrow took the New York Title away from him.
Matti H: and we can't forget what happend when Deathrow almost cost Jeepers the National Title.
(Clip shows Jeepers in a match against Brisk. Deathrow runs in and gives Jeepers 3 Death Penalty's. Right when he puts Brisk over to cover Jeepers, Dancin Fool runs in and gives the Get Down to both Deathrow and Brisk and then puts Jeepers over Brisk to have Jeepers retain the title.)
Christo: If it wasn't for the Fool, Jeepers would be titleless, but you can't help but think that Dancin Fool is more concerned about getting his own title back from Deathrow.
Matti H: Well any way you put it, they are all out for blood!
Christo: Don't forget our main event that was just announced, Climax getting his first title defence against the chairman Stop Sign Bob!
Matti H: And El Lobo will be in action, but we have no idea who against as of right now!
Christo: Expect this show to kick a lot of ass! let's get this kicked off with Chadwick Mcfarfigfoogalheimengotsmilkthethird announcing our first match!
Chadwick: Ladies and gentlepeople, It's my honor to introduce to you, Endless Mike!
("Dr. Worm" by They Might Be Giants hits as Endless Mike comes out talking on two cell phones at once while the crowd viciously boo's him)
Matti H: The NQPWF Sports Agent! You gotta love this guy!
(Endless Mike grabs a microphone)
Endless Mike: As you all know, I haven't had much success with my clients lately. Lobo had me fired in an instant, I couldn't get The Megastars the Tag Team Titles, I admit, I have failed recently. So here is what I'm gonna do. Tonight, I'm gonna scout this next match, and trust me, the winner will be getting a visit from me, and this time, I'm gonna sign the NEXT NQPWF WORLD CHAMPION!
(Endless Mike drops the mic and walks over to the commentary booth and sits down)
Chadwick: This match is schedualed for one fall.
("In Bloom" by Nirvana hits and the crowd boo's)
Chadwick: Making his way to the ring first, from the Bronx, New York weighing 210 lbs, Caged Heat!
(Caged Heat walks to the ring without paying attention to the booing fans)
("Sugar" by System of a down hits as the crowd gives a huge pop)
Chadwick: And his opponent, weighing 160 lbs from Foolsbury, Conneticuit, Tom Foolary!
(Tom Foolary skank dances down to the ring as the crowd gives him huge appreciation)
Matti H: And there's the bell and here goes our opening contest as we're joined here by Endless Mike!
Endless Mike: Hey guys real great to be here, I'm hoping to pick up a great rising star from this match to lead him to the NQPWF Championship!
Christo: Well that's a nice deal, i'd take it if I had some legs to wrestle with, which i do... but oh yeah the match, Caged Heat has the upper hand in the early on and hits a strong clothesline on Tom.
Endless Mike: It looks like The Foolary guy is a bit rusty and Heat is really putting him in a lot of pain, look at this beautiful arm lock! I'm impressed already!
Matti H: Well Tom has got the ropes and now Heat has got a cover, 1..2.. kick out! Heat brings him back up and it looks like Foolary is fighting back a bit. a bounce on the ropes, nice Swinging Neckbreaker!
Endless Mike: That move was great! Go Tom!
Christo: Now it looks like Tom is going for a headlock submission move himself to slow down Cage. Cage is slowing fighting back though, big elbow, and a nice Vertical Suplex!
Endless Mike: I changed my mind! Go Heat!
Christo: Heat now dropping a leg on Foolary and going for a cover. 1..2.. Kick Out! Goes for another cover 1..2.. another kick out. Foolary gets up dazed and Caged Heat is goin to the top lookin for a Double Axe Handle, but Foolary counters with a swift punch to the gut! And Foolary delivers a Bulldog!
Matti H: This match good enough for ya Mike?
Endless Mike: I have to say I am impressed, I could go either way right now!
Christo: Looks like Foolary goin for a cover and 1..2.. Heat kicks out! Foolary now looking to lock in the Foolsday Device, but it's reversed into a Crucifix Pin! 1..2.. Foolary kicks out! Heat is now picking Tom back up, but Tom knees him in the chest, bounces against the ropes and looks for the April Fool's, but it's countered and Heat kicks him in the chest, Fameasser! Heat goes for a cover! 1..2..3!! The Match is over!
Matti H: So have you been impressed Mike?
Endless Mike: Wow, I'm speechless! This match was great! I don't know who to sign!
Chadwick: Here is your winner, Caged Heat!!!
(Caged Heat leaves as the crowd boo's him)
Matti H: We're told right now we have El Sombrero backstage with Kayin Masaki, let's find out what's going on here!
(camara cuts to El Sombrero and Kayin backstage)
El Sombrero: Hola! I'm here with Kayin Masaki and I think he's mad or something, I have no idea!
Kayin Masaki: Well listen here, my time here in the NQPWF has been, well, for a lack of better words, dissapointing. My World Title reign ends before I can even defend it, and they said I was the real deal, the most marketable wrestler here. Well the fans and the crowd can kiss my ass! (Crowd noise boo's in the background) I'm gonna get back on the right track and to the top here by myself, and no one is gonna stop me! Because I brought the wrestling to the NQPWF, I brought the competition, and I'm now gonna show, that I can regain my...
(Savage walks in from the side and interrupts)
Savage: Excuse me? What's the problem here? All this bitching just woke my daughter up.
Kayin Masaki: Stay out of this, It's none of your business!
Savage: Well guess what? It is now! I'm sick and tired and of hearing all these wrestlers bitch and complain, aren't you like the 5th person to do so today?
Kayin Masaki: I'm not complaining I'm...
Savage: Yeah, you are. And Savage doesn't like that! Just listen, you keep your mouth shut and never wake my daughter up again, or I'll have your head at the top of my mantle with Patrovich, Weisman, and all those other teachers I killed.
(Savage walks away as you can hear the crowd cheer)
(Kayin stands there contemplative and walks away with fear in his eyes)
(Camara cuts to Caged Heat relaxing in his locker room after his match as he hears a knock on his door)
Caged Heat: Yes?
(Endless Mike is shown with papers in his hand)
Endless Mike: Hey! Heat!
Caged Heat: Hey... What's goin on?
Endless Mike: Listen man, Great match out there tonight! You really showed Foolary whose boss!
Caged Heat: Why thanks I apprecia...
Endless Mike: Listen to me. Right Here. Right Now. How would you like to get to the top?
Caged Heat: Like hold the World Title?
Endless Mike: Even better than that! I can have you famous! Ever been on Cereal Boxes, 8X10 Glossy's, Action Figures, Chunky Soup commercials????
Caged Heat: Well, no but I...
Endless Mike: Well listen man, if you stick with me, I'll get ya there. I'll get ya further than you've EVER been before!!!
Caged Heat: And what if you don't?
Endless Mike: (pauses for a minute) If you don't become the biggest NQPWF superstar by next year.... I give you full permission to fire me and humiliate me on television.
Caged Heat: (thinks to himself for a minute) Well, I have always dreamed on being on a box of Krinkle O's.
Endless Mike: Great! Just sign here... oh and here.... and here.... don't forget to initial here.... oh sign here... here too....
(Caged Heat signs the papers and shakes his hand and camara fades to Matti H and Christo)
Matti H: That was some crazy shit that just went down there! Caged Heat has just signed Endless Mike as his agent!
Christo: Oh and how about that confrontation that Kayin and Savage just had? I wonder what's gonna happen from there!
Matti H: Hey, looks like we got another match on our hands!
("Jumpdafuckup" by Soulfly hits)
Chadwick: This match is schedualed for one fall, introducing first, from Finncinnatti weighing 225 lbs, Finno!
(Finno walks down the rampway to a chorus of boo's)
(Finno gets in the ring and grabs a mic)
Finno: Shut up and listen to me! Lately, I've been in a really bad mood. I've lost the National Title to a Cat in the Hat freak, and I've been criticized for everything I've done. But you know what, I'm not havin it anymore! So come to the ring lucky victim, because now is not the time to mess with me!
("Crazy Insane" by Machal Montano hits and the crowd goes into a Tizzy)
Matti H: Whoohoo it's time for the Tizzy!
Chadwick: Making his way to the ring from Trinidad weighing 200 lbs, Carribean Jay!!!!
(Carribean Jay stops to pose at the entry way, and then runs to the ring)
Matti H: Looks like we're already getting under way here and Jay and finno are surpassing the lock up and going straight to brawling!
Christo: Two great wrestlers here tonight and they are here to fight and fight they shall, it looks like Finno has got him in an arm wrench, and a kick straight to the face! He's bringin him up again, and it looks like a snapmare followed by a great great kick to the back! Finno covers 1..2.. jay kicks out!
Matti H: Finno getting out some aggression ever since he lost that National title. It looks like he's got Jay in a armbar, but Jay rolls out of it and has a cover 1..2.. Finno kicks out! Both men getting back up again, Jay bouncing off the ropes and hits a Lou Thezs Press! Jay goes for another cover 1..2.. Kick Out! Jay getting Finno back up now and has him in a sleeper hold.
Christo: Jay having the upper hand right now and finno is looking a little shakey. The ref has got his hand up for 1..... 2..... and finno is still alive and he's fighting back! Jay whips Finno to the ropes, Jay goes for a clothesline, Finno ducks! turns around, DDT!
Matti H: Looks like Finno going for a cover 1...2... Kick Out!
Christo: Finno signaling that it may be over now! Finno picks up Jay looking for the Finnosher, but Jay sneaks out of it! He gets up, Reverse DDT!
Matti H: Now it looks like Jay is gonna go to the top rope maybe looking for his Flamingo Leg Drop, He hits it!!! Jay now goes for a cover 1...2...3...!!! Carribean Jay has won this match!
Chadwick: Here is your winner Carribean Jay!!!
Matti H: It looks like Jay is happy and he is gettin his crowd into a Tizzy!!! and everybodies happy! everybodies dancing!
Christo: Hey wait a second, Finno has got a chain and he's choking Carribean Jay with it! Here comes the NQPWF security to try to get him off, but Finno looks pissed! He won't let go of the chokehold and they are trying to tame him. It looks like he is finally letting go now but Carribean Jay looks hurt and the fans don't look happy.
Matti H: Well I gotta tell ya, Jay had it coming! Finno Was out for blood and I don't think this is gonna end here!
(camara cuts to backstage where Elmo, Randose, and Valerie are all in their locker room)
Randose: Listen man, we gotta focus on keeping these belts we can't worry about Weapon X right now.
Elmo: I Know, I Know. I am just shaken up. I didn't see it coming.
Randose: Well neither did I dude. He must still be holding a grudge over some stupid rivalry you two used to have.
Valerie: You guys need to focus on retaining these titles and I'll make sure Weapon X doesn't interfiere.
Elmo: You? You think you can hold back Weapon X?
Randose: Hey calm down dude it's not her fault.
Elmo: I know but seriously, you think she can stop Weapon from interfiering?
Valerie: I'm insulted!
Elmo: Don't be. I don't think 75% of the people in the NQPWF could stop Weapon from interfiering.
Valerie: I'm just trying to help... Geez get the cock out of your ass!
Randose: GUYS! STOP! Pretend like Weapon X isn't even here, I wanna keep these titles. These Megafags or whatever don't deserve them at all. This is our goal that we wanted to accomplish from the time we started back up, now let's just get our heads into this and win another tag match.
Elmo: Alright, I'm sorry.
Valerie: Yeah, me too.
Randose: Good, now let's go!
(Camara fades off them and goes to The Megastars Locker Room)
J-Magnum: Dude, are you ready brother?
Ceej-Tank: I'm sooooo ready bro!
Michael Matthews: You guys are Number 1! New NQPWF Tag Champs right here baby!!! You know why? Because you are the Beast!
Ceej-Tank: Oh hell yeah i'm the beast!
Michael Matthews: And You, are the Megastar!
J-Magnum: Damn right i'm the Megastar!
Michael Matthews: And before the night is over, it'll be Megastars, Tag Team Champions!
J-Magnum & Ceej-Tank: YOU ARE THE MASTER!
Michael Matthews: LET'S GO BOYS!!!!!
(camara cuts back to the ring)
Chadwick: The following contest is schedualed for one fall and is for the NQPWF Tag Team Championship!
("Superstar" by Saliva hits as the crowd boo's heavily)
Chadwick: Making their way to the ring first, the challengers, being accompanied by the Master Mad Man Michael Matthews, weighing in at a combined weight of 320 lbs, J-Magnum and Ceej-Tank, The Megastars!
(The Megastars walk out to the ring as the crowd continues to boo heavily)
Matti H: Alright! The Megastars are here! We got new tag champs coming soon!
Christo: Too bad it's against maybe the best team the has ever fought in the NQPWF!
("Maxwell Murder" by Rancid hits as the crowd begins to go nuts!)
Chadwick: Making their way to the ring being accompanied by Valerie, at a combined weight of 310 lbs, They are the current reigning NQPWF Tag Team champions, Elmo Machete and Randose, The 4our 5ided Trian6le!!!!!!!!
(Randose, Elmo, and Val come down to the ring high fiving the crowd as they continue to cheer)
Matti H: There's the bell and this match is under way! it looks like both members of both teams are battling in the ring and this ones set to be a real bloodbath. The Ref is telling them to go to their corners and it looks like Randose and Magnum are starting this match! a collar and elbow tie up, a wrist lock around the waist, Randose get's out of it, he wrenches Magnum's arm and slams his back to the ground! Randose gets him back up and whips him to the ropes and knocks him down with a shoulder block. he's got him covered 1..2.. Magnum kicks out! Randose flings across the ropes and hits a ground splash! cover again 1...2.. another kick out!
Christo: now lookin like Randose tagging in Elmo and they and both getting some stomping down on magnum as Ceej and Matthews look to be complaining, Elmo brings him back up and hits a snap suplex as Randose goes back to his corner. Elmo now goes for a cover 1...2... Magnum kicks out! Magnum getting away from Elmo quickly and he gets the tag into Ceej who clotheslines Elmo straight out of the blue, Ceej and Magnum looking for a double team manuever while Matthews has the ref distracted and they hit a solid double backdrop! Randose tries to get in but the Ref breaks it up and tells the illegal men to get back to their corners.
Matti H: Looks like Elmo is now being put in a half crab by Ceej Tank, Elmo not tappin out, he's crawling and he breaks the hold! Ceej goes for a cover 1...2... Elmo kicks out! Elmo trying to go for a tag but Ceej is preventing this. Ceej brings him up and hits a nice belly to belly suplex! He's now got Elmo's head on the ropes and tags in Magnum. Matthews holding Elmo's head on the ropes and Ceej and Magnum hit a double dropkick to Elmo's back! Valerie goes over to Matthews and makes sure he's off and Matthews runs away.
Christo: Magnum continuing to beat on Elmo and he hits him with a knee drop. Magnum bounces off the ropes and dropkick's Elmo's face! he goes for a cover 1...2.. Kick Out! Magnum picking Elmo back up, whips him to the corner and boots him in the face!!! Magnum now taunting the crowd but the crowd isn't having it, it looks like he's goin for a bronco buster, but elmo moves out of the way!!! Elmo desperately needs a tag here as both of these men look down. They are both crawling to their partners and they both got the tag! Randose with a right hand on Ceej! Ceej is brawling back with him, Randose lifts him up for a suplex, but it's countered and Ceej-Tank hits a suplex! goes for a cover 1...2.. Dose kicks out!
Matti H: Randose getting back up and it looks like Ceej-Tank lookin for an Enzuguri but it's countered and Randose slams him on the ground! Magnum is trying to grab Randose, but Randose knocks him off the apron! Hey wait a minute it looks like Weapon X is at the edge of the entryway! Randose doesn't seem to be paying any attention to him and he tags in Elmo. Him and Elmo whip Ceej-Tank to the ropes, Double clothesline!
Christo: Hey! it looks like Weapon X is trying to get down to the ring but Valerie is preventing him from doing so! Oh NO! He just grabbed Val's head and slammed it on the rampway! that's horrible! but inside the ring Randose and elmo have Ceej Tank set up for the Sweet N Low, and they hit it! Elmo goes to cover 1...2... hey wait a second! Weapon X pulls him out of the ring! Swift punch right to Elmo's Face! Randose trying to get out and help him but Ceej-Tank with a school boy! 1...2...3...!!!! He held the tights! and we have new Tag Team Champions!!!!
Matti H: And it looks like Weapon X is walking away from this mess he's created as Randose is trying to help his partner and manager up off the ground!
Christo: But in the ring we have a big celebration and the Megastars are the New Tag Champs!!!
Chadwick: Here are your winners and NEW NQPWF Tag Team Champions, The Megastars!
Matti H: This rivalry is far from over between Weapon X and the 4our 5ided Trian6le!
(Part 2 to be continued tomorrow)