RP LOG with imgrounded | Post-coital confessions
The sex was hot, and it was sweaty, and as far as Randy was concerned, it was awesome. Peter had come home from work after seven back-to-back shifts in an extremely horny mood. In fact, 'extremely' probably wasn't even an accurate enough description. He was just hot for it, and Randy's text books had no hope. It was probably the high of realising he had four days off ahead of him mixed with the fact he and Randy hadn't seen much of each other that week. Randy wasn't going to complain in any way, shape or form. She had decided around three days ago that she was being left alone with her own thoughts entirely too much. Far, far too much. It was even more prominent with Mel pretty much basically already living with Nate, all they needed to do was shift her stuff. Mel's little issue wasn't helping either. Randy was sure it was sending her completely bonkers. It had to be some sort of twin empathy or mojo that was making her go crazy like this. There was no other sound explanation without driving herself to the nearest shrink for an immediate assessment.
"I want one," Randy found falling from her lips as Peter rolled off her in a sweaty heap and started to get rid of the condom so they could snuggle. She ran her palm over her sweat-slicked belly and turned her messy blonde head on the pillow to look at him, lips pressed together. His hair was sticking up in all directions from where she had her fingers gripped in the thick locks when he went down on her as soon as he got home. His well-toned body had a slick sheen all over it, and he was panting from exertion. And all she could think about was one thing... which was so, so fucking wrong, it wasn't even funny.
Peter didn't much care about his messy hair. He didn't care about hers either as he let out a contented sigh, knotted the condom, and managed to get it into Randy's bin by her desk. He smirked triumphantly before he turned to look at her, not really sure what she'd said at first. His whole body was singing the praises of a spectacular orgasm, and he battling not to just curl up against her and sleep. He reached out to catch her hand as he slid his fingers between hers, and both their hands now rested on her stomach. Peter slid a leg between hers and sucked on his bottom lip as he looked over her face.
Randy was so beautiful when she was all glowing after sex. He just wanted to fuck her all over again, but his dick needed to recover first. Peter pressed a kiss to Randy's shoulder before he rest his head on the pillow next to hers and arched an eyebrow. "Want one what?"
Randy blinked once and then before she could catch it, "A baby," was also falling out of her lips like her tongue suddenly stopped fucking working rationally. If Peter didn't have her hand in his, she would have reached up and smacked herself firmly in the face, and she did indeed squeak in surprise as the words eventuated from her head out of her mouth into a reality. It wasn't just a crazy fucked up mess of thinking in her head anymore, and it was even worse that she couldn't put her finger on where it was coming from other than the fact her twin sense was buzzing in overdrive and making her think that for some reason that because Mel was knocked up, her uterus should be an occupied parking space too. She scrunched up her nose and kicked at the mess of sheets around her foot in frustration.
Peter watched her, his face not betraying anything as his gaze travelled down her body to her stomach where their hands lay. Then he watched her feet kick at the sheets and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Peter gave her hand a soft squeeze, and stayed close to her so she knew he wasn't running away from the conversation. His brain was just a little slow to respond in a post-coital state. Guys just weren't meant to have D&Ms after sex. They could have them during sex up until a certain point, but after was hard work. "Because of Mel? You don't seem... happy about the want."
Randy made a small noise of frustration. She was having difficulties getting her head to work after sex too, and it still seemed to be on this one tracked mind that had her standing in front of the mirror with Peter's pillow shoved up her top earlier that day like a friggen emo teenager. "I'm not unhappy! It's just... it's just a want that's there and I think that's what it is. How am I even supposed to know? It's weird and I don't even know what it is! But I've turned into this crazy person and I'm doing really stupid things like going down the baby aisle at WalMart and stopping. I stopped in the baby aisle! And I didn't even do it for Mel. I didn't. I told her I did, but I didn't. I'm mental!"
Peter smiled as he moved his face even closer to Randy's and rubbed their hands against her stomach. For someone reason the idea of Randy pregnant with his kid wasn't as scary as he was expecting it to be. No one had ever wanted his kid before. At least he was assuming that she wanted his kid, otherwise he was going to change his mind about this being an awkward conversation. "I don't think you're mental. I think you're watching your sister experience this new thing, and maybe it's making you realise that you do actually want it to." He let go of her hand but only so he could tuck some her blonde strands behind her ear and run his fingertips lightly over the side of her face as he held Randy's gaze. "I love you, Miranda, and if stopping in the baby aisle is something you need to do, then do it. And... if I'm honest I wouldn't mind if we did make a baby. I've never met anyone like you. I think I'd be lucky to have a kid that shared your genes. Fuck knows how we'll pull it off, though."
"No, no. See, when I watch her, I'm all practical and cool aunty with my head on straight. It's when she's not around that my brain breaks. It's like..." Randy paused, biting on her lip as she tried to explain it and looked at him helplessly. "Like, in my gut, somewhere just under my heart, there is this niggle. It started a little while ago, but it was just enough to brush aside. Now, though, whenever I'm alone, it's growing into a monster. I said 'aww' at the Pampers ad. I stuck a pillow up my shirt today! I read the label on a baby food jar to make sure it didn't have too much sodium. I told a mother at the bus stop with a really ugly kid that her kid was beautiful and had a cute nose. The kid looked a bit like smooshed Ewok, but it was still cute!" She snapped her mouth shut again, looking at him with her blue eyes wide. "You want to have a kid with me? But I'm mental? What if I rub the mental off and we get a smooshed Ewok too? And that's the thing! We don't have time. We just don't. I'm nearly finished my degree and you're an awesome nurse! You're amazing, and people need you, because it's completely fucking sucky to have crap nurses, you know!"
"I know," Peter murmured as he continued to watch her with a smile. She was just so damn cute when she rambled and did the wide-eyed thing. It wasn't often that Randy had these kinds of moments. She really was usually all practical and cool girlfriend. Now she was going to be a cool aunty, and Peter felt a niggle he hadn't realised was there until he thought of her as a cool mother. He moved to rest on his elbow, and leaned down to kiss her collarbone, and then the soft flesh of her breast as his hand went back to her stomach and his fingers splayed out over it protectively. "We're both mental, you're just the one that's the most mental right now," he said with a chuckle. "I don't think there's actually anything wrong with getting clucky. Sometimes I think people just know when they're supposed to have a kid. Their body just realises it's ready. Your head might just be a little slow on the uptake." He looked at her from under his dark hair and captured her mouth in a soft kiss. "We have nine months to figure out how we're going to do this... If you do want to do it. I'd love a kid with you, but I can wait. We only just got to the official girlfriend-boyfriend thing. And I'm about to try and work on the moving in thing. Surprise?" he added with a sheepish look before clearing his throat. "So it's not like we're not used to doing things in our own time."
Randy shifted and snaked her arms around him in a tight, clingy hug. "No, see, I need you here right now in case I buy dolls and start dressing them in diapers. You can keep me sane, even if your shifts are all over the place. Which is fine, we can roll with that if you're here. I've never been without Mel before and I think it's broken my brain. But she needs to be with Nate for the same reason. His shifts are just as fucked, but it's great he's stepping up to the plate. Some guys really do just have the boyfriend mojo. Me and Mel never thought we'd find any, let alone two, you know? We always joked that we would share if we found awesome guys, and now we don't have to. But I don't think I'm cut out to be a real mom. Maybe my twin thing just thinks I'm pregnant? Mel and I did share an embryonic sac and cells once. Maybe my uterus just wants to share?"
Peter didn't move out of the clingy hug, and kissed her again as he settled his weight so he didn't squash her. "I'm not going anywhere, promise. You'll have four days of me hanging around like a bad smell and making you wish I was at work again. I just... it's because my shifts are fucked that I want to live with you. I want to spend every second possible with you because I just... Fuck, I get crazy. It's torture not being able to be with you when I'm working this many shifts straight. Not that I'm complaining about the sex we just had. Really fucking not... I'm just selfish." He sucked on his bottom lip as his eyes flicked over her face. "I think you'd be a great real mom. I think my fathering skills are going to be... questionable. Not like I had a decent role model."
Randy pulled back a little with a frown. "Wouldn't that be more reason why you would be an awesome Dad? Look at Nate. He had no father role model, and he's stepped right up to the plate, done all the right things by Mel, even if it took them by surprise," she told him. "I think you would be an awesome Dad. None of your family are like you, from the sounds of it. You couldn't be a nurse if you didn't have some of those inate qualities to take care of people, and taking care of people is like the biggest foundation of being a parent. I used to watch my Mom and Dad with us three and wonder how they hell they didn't want to smack themselves in the head with a spoon to stay sane. Maybe having crap role models makes you all the more better to be one of your own?" She rubbed her hand over her face and sighed. "And you like your job, even if the shifts are crap. You really like it and you're amazing at it. I love what I'm doing, too, or will, once I get qualified and start practicing. Is it really practical to have a kid right now? Maybe we should just do the moving in thing, and put this in a little box as something we could try if everything else goes okay? I'd just get scared I'd wake up one day and think we made a huge mistake."
Peter raised his hand to ease the frown from her face as he rubbed his thumb against her forehead. "I guess so. I never really thought about it. I used to be the cool uncle to Simon and Monty, but Heidi took them away. She's my brother's ex. He hasn't seen his kids in a long time, and neither have I. I don't want it to be like that. I want to be allowed to love my kids and be with them every day. I want them in a loving family, not one that wants them to do all this crap that just fits the parents' dreams, and not the kids'. I think Nate really is doing an awesome job, and I admire him completely for stepping up to the plate. I'd do the same for you, though. I'm sure I would." He kissed the spot he'd just rubbed and then dropped his head to rest it against her shoulder. "We can do the moving thing, and we can do the box thing, but I just want you to know you don't need to not talk about it if it's on your mind. I don't want you to regret anything with us."
Randy pressed her lips together and looked momentarily like she wanted to smack... anyone from Peter's family. "She just took your nephews away? I can't... I... shit, I think I would die if that happened. Not that Mel or Matt ever would do that, but I know your family situation was fucked. And not that I can envisage Matty as a daddy quite yet. He can't seem to quite get his willy to settle in a relationship, even though I think deep down he wants someone." She melted back into the embrace, falling into a brief silence as she thought for a few moments. "Have you ever thought about being a dad? Wondered what your kid might be like? Or what you would like to do with them?"
Peter nodded and held her a little tighter. He could hear how she felt in her voice, and the truth was it was nice to have someone so protective about him. Someone that did actually care. "They were good kids, and Nathan really loved them. Being a father had always been a priority for him until she took them away. I think he slowly just started to forget about them... Even Claire. Although with her it was easier to keep in touch. He wasn't banned from seeing them. Why do you think he can't get his, ah, willy to settle?" He shifted his head to look up at her and pulled his mouth to the side in thought. "Sometimes. Once in a while. Like one of those things you feel kind of naughty thinking about because it's not something you think you should be thinking. Did that make sense? I'd like to think my kid would get everything I didn't. That they'd know they were loved. I've never really had a woman I've thought about having them with, so what they look like is hard. A mini me is just so... egotistical. I'd want them to have your eyes."
"A priority? Even though he had his head up his ass with his politics because he wanted to be president and barely even knew his own brother existed, except to lie about him to better his campaign?" Randy heard the bitterness dripping off her words and she shot Peter a guilty look, clamping her mouth shut just before she had to follow it up with inserting her foot in there. She had always had foot-in-mouth syndrome, but had always been one to speak her mind when it came to threats - even emotional - on people she loved. "I'm sorry. I don't know him, so that was out of line. I'm just taking a leaping guess that the mom took them away from him for a reason, but I won't pry. He just doesn't seem to have a squeaky clean track record, and I've seen what a mom will do to protect their kids if they think they are in any danger. A-All that stuff you told me? If we ever have a kid, they won't be... in danger, will they?"
"Well, the politics, then his kids, then his wife, then probably me. And Mom somewhere next to his politics. I can't helping shaking this feeling that Mom had something to do with Heidi leaving Nathan. I mean, Heidi... she used to be in a wheelchair. Nathan could have dumped his disabled wife if he'd really wanted to, but he didn't. He stuck by her. Of course he also fucked around on her, but he's a politician. It's what they do." Peter frowned as he sucked on his lip. "My brother's really not all that great, is he? I just... I always loved him. It's okay, I don't mind you saying what's on your mind. God knows I probably should have said it any number of times over the years. Heidi didn't seem like she'd leave him after he got hurt... after I hurt him, but then she was just gone." Peter blinked himself back from the memories, and cupped Randy's cheek as he held her gaze. "I will kill anyone that tries to hurt you, or our kids if we have any. I'm not letting anyone come after them, so no, no danger."
Randy was watching him, that tiny frown still formed on her features. "How chivalrous of him to stick by her and dip his cock in another chick. You make excuses for him. I don't think fucking around on your wife and mother of your kid is anywhere on a politician's job description. But I get it, he's your big brother. He's just making Matty look a Saint right now. If he did half of the things your brother did, I would staple his penis to his motorcycle and drive him from here to Alaska and back... naked. Him, not me. And that would just be the start. You need to stop with the self blame about hurting him, too. Don't you think he hurt you enough in return to even the scales out there? It's not like you killed him. Or is it like you intended to hurt him. Do you still blame me for hitting you with the car?" she asked, watching him intently. She couldn't help but rub her hand over her flat stomach. Everything with Mel had left her so confused and she knew there was some sort of twin mojo at play here. Maybe it was just sibling rivalry? Not that she or Mel had ever had that towards each other in the past. It had never been an issue. "I don't know... I think I'm just getting swept up in Mel's stuff by default. I've never thought about kids before. It just sort of suddenly hit me like a big stick to the face or something."
Peter let out a slow breath, and nodded in agreement before he rest his head back down against her shoulder and took comfort from her being there. She was right. She was voicing everything he'd been thinking over the years, but had never let himself admit to. Not to mention those times Nathan had doubted him, or ignored him. It wasn't that Peter hated his brother, he didn't. He couldn't. He had just managed to knock Nathan off the pedestal so that he could live his own life, and not try and live his brother's. "No, of course I don't still blame you for that. It wasn't intentional. I had never wanted Nathan to be there with me. I guess maybe I feel a little guilty because I'm not sure I could have survived without him. How fucked up is that? I might not have even got out of New York in time. I could have destroyed a whole city, not just my brother's face." Peter placed his hand back on her stomach, rubbing his thumb against the smooth skin. "I want one," he murmured, the realisation hitting him just like a big stick to the face. "I want ours."
"Isn't that what family are really supposed to be for? To protect you, through the good, bad and ugly? You surviving because of him doesn't make him a Saint, it makes him your brother. At least he stepped up when it mattered, even if he didn't step up for you much at all any other time. He's a politician, he's not out saving lives, like you. He's not finding cures for diseases, or protecting endangered species. He's not sheltering abused children, or funding rescue missions for war. Is he? He just likes the fucking sound of his own voice and looking pretty in suits. Peter, you're better than him. You've always been better than him. You want to make a difference how it counts. Not how many people can get their cheque books out for your campaign at a cute little speech about having a fucked up brother..." Randy stopped and let out a heavy breath. She hoped she never met Peter's brother. If she did, he would be getting a free up-close view of his own colon and anus. She turned back at him, uncertainty written all over her face. "What about everything we've worked for? I want to be a psychologist. I want to help people, just like you have. I want to make a difference too."
Peter kissed her neck, and his hand slid lower as he gave her hip an affectionate rub, and trailed his fingers over her thigh. It probably wasn't supposed to turn him on hearing her berate his brother, but it did. No other woman had understood. No other woman had really wanted to. They took pity on him, or ignored his life in favour of... Well, he didn't even know what it had been in favour of. Loving the poor, misunderstood Petrelli brother without first finding out why he'd been misunderstood. "I really do love you, you know. And I want to thank you for... being you." He shifted back up so his head was on the pillow and he could hold her gaze easily. "I don't see why having a kid would need to change that. I love being a nurse, but it's not like I couldn't cut back the hours if you wanted to be the one to focus on your work. I've never had a reason not to work. I think having a kid would make me stop - at least for a little while - for the right reasons. We'd be in it together. We'd work out a way for us to get what we want."
"You don't have to thank me. You just need to know I love you and you're never going to play second to anyone around here. In fact, I want you to play equal all around. I want you to be part of our family, to be mates with Nathan because I think he's going to need one. And just... be you, without thinking you should be anyone else. You is better than you'll ever see," Randy murmured and she was wetting her lips before moving on to bite on her lip like she always did when she was swirling things over in her head to try and make sense of them. Like when Mel had told her she was pregnant, she did keep her cool as much as she could, but once Mel was safely back with Nathan to try and deal with it all, Randy had exploded in a fit of random thoughts, trying to figure out exactly how she felt that her twin was having a baby. It made for many hours or staring into space, making her feel everything from weird to bursting proud to the thought of being an aunty. But she wasn't in the hot seat then, and now here she was seriously contemplating the thought of doing so. With Peter. "I just... um... I think I need some time to get used to the idea. Like, if we just dove in and did this, I can guarantee I'll freak out about it and it will be a big mess. I can deal with other peoples brains, no hassle, but when it comes to mine, it's like shoving it into a blender without the lid."
Peter pulled her into a kiss, using actions instead of words to make her understand just how grateful he was to her for wanting him to be equal and part of her family. "I want to be friends with Nathan, too," he said eventually. "I like him, he's a good guy. And he knows what it's like to be in love with a Murray twin. We have plenty to bond over. You deserve to first too, you know. You're amazing." He kept his gaze on her as he watched her bite her lip, figuring she was turning things over in her mind and that was okay. "I don't want you to freak out, or anything. I get that you have a blender brain. Mel has the washing machine, and you got the blender. I still don't really know what I got. We'll stick with condoms, and birth control, and the baby thing goes on the back burner."
Randy curled into the embrace again, for some reason, feeling a wave of vulnerability washing over her and she was happy to be shielded from it by Peter's arms. It wasn't a familiar feeling for her, she was usually the confident one and took things in her stride. She wrote it off as just tapping into Mel's hormonal mojo again. She promised her twin she would be there every step of the way for the pregnancy, this really just wasn't what she meant when she said it. "Condoms and birth control. I can do that. And I promise I will think about it. I'm not just saying that to fob it off, because I'm not sure I can just fob it off. It's weird. It's like... it's just consuming me. I thought it was just sibling rivalry, but Mel and me, we've never had that. Ever. I'm not jealous of her. I just want to feel what she's feeling. I think maybe I already am." She moaned a little. "I told you the twin thing was mental."
"It's still cute, and amazing, and something that definitely makes my head spin but I wouldn't have you without it." Peter rolled onto his back as he pulled Randy on top of him, and wrapped his arm around her waist as he used his other hand to brush her hair back from her face. "God, you're beautiful. I'll let you think about it in that blender brain of yours for as long as you need to take, okay? No pressure. Mostly because I need to think about it, too. I really hadn't been expecting the kid talk, but I'm glad we had it."
Randy buried her face in against his shoulder and sighed. "I'm sorry I just dumped it on you like that. I didn't mean to. I actually wasn't going to say anything at all, but I really was starting to go nuts with it. I thought it was just a phase. I've had phases before. I was impressed, though, with the condom thing. You didn't even make a mess, even if I was launching something like that at you. Maybe now I've got it out there, I'll get over it. I don't even think I should tell Mel, because I don't want to freak her out. She was all happy in a good mood because she got her first real, meaningful Valentine's Day present, and she deserves it. She's starting to get used to the pregnant thing too. She doesn't need me going crazy twin on her."
"You're not that crazy of a twin," Peter told her with a smile before he chuckled. "And I'm glad you told me. I'm also kinda impressed I really did take it in my stride. Truth is I've dealt with much, much worse things than you telling me you want a baby. I still think you'd be a sexy pregnant chick and I'm not just saying that. Idea of you with a baby bump is kind of turning me on. Feel free to hate me. I'm not sure it is something you should keep from your sister. Won't she pick up on blender vibes?" Then Peter seemed to pale a little. "Oh, shit... Valentine's."
Randy shook her head. "No, no. Don't worry about it. You've been really busy, we both have. I completely understand. Things have just been all over the place. I'm not one of those chicks who gets homocidal about Valentine's Day. We can go out to dinner or something when you've had some rest." She looked at him uncertainly. "Really? You don't think it'll be all weird and awkward?" she asked, still trying to figure out how it would feel to have a beach ball strapped to her front.
Peter smirked lightly. "I can do dinner. Just give me tomorrow. I might be human by dinnertime. I'll find somewhere nice. Somewhere that isn't just a burger joint. Might even have metal cutlery." He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, of course it'll be weird and awkward, but it'll be... intense. At least if you don't get turned off by sex. Some chicks just don't want to be touched for the duration of the pregnancy."
Randy's mouth dropped open a little. "No!" she gasped and lifted her head to see if he was joking. "Are you serious? Not at all? What's the fun in that? No... I don't want no sex. I don't think I could handle it. You've got to have some fun amongst all the expanding boobs and throwing up and sore butts and wanting to eat weird things and... how is it that the guy isn't the one that gets turned off?" she asked in realisation. "Pregnancy doesn't even sound sexy."
Peter managed to keep his face straight before he started to grin. "Deadly serious, babe. But I just said some. I'm hoping you live up to your name and don't cut me off. I don't know why guys don't get turned off, but mostly I think it's because we're just so deeply in love with our girls, and proud our sperm did something useful. Ask Nathan? It's not sexy, but it's natural."
Randy was starting to look slightly horrified. "I don't think I want to deal with any of those pregnant things. They sound awful. Feeling sick all the time and peeing all the time and hemorrhoids and not being able to lie on my stomach and sore boobs." She was biting on her lip again. "There is no way you will want to even touch me with any of that. What if I start doing inelegant things like farting when I bend over or throwing up when I smell your cologne?"
"Having a baby really isn't all clean and glamorous," Peter conceded. "But I'll still want to touch you. I'll always want to touch you. I won't stand behind you when you bend over, and I'll stop wearing cologne. It's not going to bother me. Promise."
Randy rested her head back down onto the pillow, falling into silence again. She knew she had commiserated to Mel that day in the supermarket when she had first started seeing Peter that she was embarrassed about the everyday things like using the bathroom at his place. She wasn't mental about it, but she had always been one of those girls who got along with guys like a house on fire, but when it came to personal stuff like that, she rarely let them close enough to experience that with her. She was always the perfect girlfriend who never let the guy have a chance to even think about her in those positions. But with Peter, it was different. It was getting serious. Baby talk was really serious. More than serious. It was going to be a whole new learning curve for her to allow herself to let her guard down with him, especially if she got pregnant. He would be there through all those inelegant things with her, and it was scaring her a little. "I-I'll think about it," she murmured, realising she was a little envious of Mel right now who had faced all this full on like a bull at a gate with Nathan, and they got through it just fine.
Word Count | 5,592
"I want one," Randy found falling from her lips as Peter rolled off her in a sweaty heap and started to get rid of the condom so they could snuggle. She ran her palm over her sweat-slicked belly and turned her messy blonde head on the pillow to look at him, lips pressed together. His hair was sticking up in all directions from where she had her fingers gripped in the thick locks when he went down on her as soon as he got home. His well-toned body had a slick sheen all over it, and he was panting from exertion. And all she could think about was one thing... which was so, so fucking wrong, it wasn't even funny.
Peter didn't much care about his messy hair. He didn't care about hers either as he let out a contented sigh, knotted the condom, and managed to get it into Randy's bin by her desk. He smirked triumphantly before he turned to look at her, not really sure what she'd said at first. His whole body was singing the praises of a spectacular orgasm, and he battling not to just curl up against her and sleep. He reached out to catch her hand as he slid his fingers between hers, and both their hands now rested on her stomach. Peter slid a leg between hers and sucked on his bottom lip as he looked over her face.
Randy was so beautiful when she was all glowing after sex. He just wanted to fuck her all over again, but his dick needed to recover first. Peter pressed a kiss to Randy's shoulder before he rest his head on the pillow next to hers and arched an eyebrow. "Want one what?"
Randy blinked once and then before she could catch it, "A baby," was also falling out of her lips like her tongue suddenly stopped fucking working rationally. If Peter didn't have her hand in his, she would have reached up and smacked herself firmly in the face, and she did indeed squeak in surprise as the words eventuated from her head out of her mouth into a reality. It wasn't just a crazy fucked up mess of thinking in her head anymore, and it was even worse that she couldn't put her finger on where it was coming from other than the fact her twin sense was buzzing in overdrive and making her think that for some reason that because Mel was knocked up, her uterus should be an occupied parking space too. She scrunched up her nose and kicked at the mess of sheets around her foot in frustration.
Peter watched her, his face not betraying anything as his gaze travelled down her body to her stomach where their hands lay. Then he watched her feet kick at the sheets and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Peter gave her hand a soft squeeze, and stayed close to her so she knew he wasn't running away from the conversation. His brain was just a little slow to respond in a post-coital state. Guys just weren't meant to have D&Ms after sex. They could have them during sex up until a certain point, but after was hard work. "Because of Mel? You don't seem... happy about the want."
Randy made a small noise of frustration. She was having difficulties getting her head to work after sex too, and it still seemed to be on this one tracked mind that had her standing in front of the mirror with Peter's pillow shoved up her top earlier that day like a friggen emo teenager. "I'm not unhappy! It's just... it's just a want that's there and I think that's what it is. How am I even supposed to know? It's weird and I don't even know what it is! But I've turned into this crazy person and I'm doing really stupid things like going down the baby aisle at WalMart and stopping. I stopped in the baby aisle! And I didn't even do it for Mel. I didn't. I told her I did, but I didn't. I'm mental!"
Peter smiled as he moved his face even closer to Randy's and rubbed their hands against her stomach. For someone reason the idea of Randy pregnant with his kid wasn't as scary as he was expecting it to be. No one had ever wanted his kid before. At least he was assuming that she wanted his kid, otherwise he was going to change his mind about this being an awkward conversation. "I don't think you're mental. I think you're watching your sister experience this new thing, and maybe it's making you realise that you do actually want it to." He let go of her hand but only so he could tuck some her blonde strands behind her ear and run his fingertips lightly over the side of her face as he held Randy's gaze. "I love you, Miranda, and if stopping in the baby aisle is something you need to do, then do it. And... if I'm honest I wouldn't mind if we did make a baby. I've never met anyone like you. I think I'd be lucky to have a kid that shared your genes. Fuck knows how we'll pull it off, though."
"No, no. See, when I watch her, I'm all practical and cool aunty with my head on straight. It's when she's not around that my brain breaks. It's like..." Randy paused, biting on her lip as she tried to explain it and looked at him helplessly. "Like, in my gut, somewhere just under my heart, there is this niggle. It started a little while ago, but it was just enough to brush aside. Now, though, whenever I'm alone, it's growing into a monster. I said 'aww' at the Pampers ad. I stuck a pillow up my shirt today! I read the label on a baby food jar to make sure it didn't have too much sodium. I told a mother at the bus stop with a really ugly kid that her kid was beautiful and had a cute nose. The kid looked a bit like smooshed Ewok, but it was still cute!" She snapped her mouth shut again, looking at him with her blue eyes wide. "You want to have a kid with me? But I'm mental? What if I rub the mental off and we get a smooshed Ewok too? And that's the thing! We don't have time. We just don't. I'm nearly finished my degree and you're an awesome nurse! You're amazing, and people need you, because it's completely fucking sucky to have crap nurses, you know!"
"I know," Peter murmured as he continued to watch her with a smile. She was just so damn cute when she rambled and did the wide-eyed thing. It wasn't often that Randy had these kinds of moments. She really was usually all practical and cool girlfriend. Now she was going to be a cool aunty, and Peter felt a niggle he hadn't realised was there until he thought of her as a cool mother. He moved to rest on his elbow, and leaned down to kiss her collarbone, and then the soft flesh of her breast as his hand went back to her stomach and his fingers splayed out over it protectively. "We're both mental, you're just the one that's the most mental right now," he said with a chuckle. "I don't think there's actually anything wrong with getting clucky. Sometimes I think people just know when they're supposed to have a kid. Their body just realises it's ready. Your head might just be a little slow on the uptake." He looked at her from under his dark hair and captured her mouth in a soft kiss. "We have nine months to figure out how we're going to do this... If you do want to do it. I'd love a kid with you, but I can wait. We only just got to the official girlfriend-boyfriend thing. And I'm about to try and work on the moving in thing. Surprise?" he added with a sheepish look before clearing his throat. "So it's not like we're not used to doing things in our own time."
Randy shifted and snaked her arms around him in a tight, clingy hug. "No, see, I need you here right now in case I buy dolls and start dressing them in diapers. You can keep me sane, even if your shifts are all over the place. Which is fine, we can roll with that if you're here. I've never been without Mel before and I think it's broken my brain. But she needs to be with Nate for the same reason. His shifts are just as fucked, but it's great he's stepping up to the plate. Some guys really do just have the boyfriend mojo. Me and Mel never thought we'd find any, let alone two, you know? We always joked that we would share if we found awesome guys, and now we don't have to. But I don't think I'm cut out to be a real mom. Maybe my twin thing just thinks I'm pregnant? Mel and I did share an embryonic sac and cells once. Maybe my uterus just wants to share?"
Peter didn't move out of the clingy hug, and kissed her again as he settled his weight so he didn't squash her. "I'm not going anywhere, promise. You'll have four days of me hanging around like a bad smell and making you wish I was at work again. I just... it's because my shifts are fucked that I want to live with you. I want to spend every second possible with you because I just... Fuck, I get crazy. It's torture not being able to be with you when I'm working this many shifts straight. Not that I'm complaining about the sex we just had. Really fucking not... I'm just selfish." He sucked on his bottom lip as his eyes flicked over her face. "I think you'd be a great real mom. I think my fathering skills are going to be... questionable. Not like I had a decent role model."
Randy pulled back a little with a frown. "Wouldn't that be more reason why you would be an awesome Dad? Look at Nate. He had no father role model, and he's stepped right up to the plate, done all the right things by Mel, even if it took them by surprise," she told him. "I think you would be an awesome Dad. None of your family are like you, from the sounds of it. You couldn't be a nurse if you didn't have some of those inate qualities to take care of people, and taking care of people is like the biggest foundation of being a parent. I used to watch my Mom and Dad with us three and wonder how they hell they didn't want to smack themselves in the head with a spoon to stay sane. Maybe having crap role models makes you all the more better to be one of your own?" She rubbed her hand over her face and sighed. "And you like your job, even if the shifts are crap. You really like it and you're amazing at it. I love what I'm doing, too, or will, once I get qualified and start practicing. Is it really practical to have a kid right now? Maybe we should just do the moving in thing, and put this in a little box as something we could try if everything else goes okay? I'd just get scared I'd wake up one day and think we made a huge mistake."
Peter raised his hand to ease the frown from her face as he rubbed his thumb against her forehead. "I guess so. I never really thought about it. I used to be the cool uncle to Simon and Monty, but Heidi took them away. She's my brother's ex. He hasn't seen his kids in a long time, and neither have I. I don't want it to be like that. I want to be allowed to love my kids and be with them every day. I want them in a loving family, not one that wants them to do all this crap that just fits the parents' dreams, and not the kids'. I think Nate really is doing an awesome job, and I admire him completely for stepping up to the plate. I'd do the same for you, though. I'm sure I would." He kissed the spot he'd just rubbed and then dropped his head to rest it against her shoulder. "We can do the moving thing, and we can do the box thing, but I just want you to know you don't need to not talk about it if it's on your mind. I don't want you to regret anything with us."
Randy pressed her lips together and looked momentarily like she wanted to smack... anyone from Peter's family. "She just took your nephews away? I can't... I... shit, I think I would die if that happened. Not that Mel or Matt ever would do that, but I know your family situation was fucked. And not that I can envisage Matty as a daddy quite yet. He can't seem to quite get his willy to settle in a relationship, even though I think deep down he wants someone." She melted back into the embrace, falling into a brief silence as she thought for a few moments. "Have you ever thought about being a dad? Wondered what your kid might be like? Or what you would like to do with them?"
Peter nodded and held her a little tighter. He could hear how she felt in her voice, and the truth was it was nice to have someone so protective about him. Someone that did actually care. "They were good kids, and Nathan really loved them. Being a father had always been a priority for him until she took them away. I think he slowly just started to forget about them... Even Claire. Although with her it was easier to keep in touch. He wasn't banned from seeing them. Why do you think he can't get his, ah, willy to settle?" He shifted his head to look up at her and pulled his mouth to the side in thought. "Sometimes. Once in a while. Like one of those things you feel kind of naughty thinking about because it's not something you think you should be thinking. Did that make sense? I'd like to think my kid would get everything I didn't. That they'd know they were loved. I've never really had a woman I've thought about having them with, so what they look like is hard. A mini me is just so... egotistical. I'd want them to have your eyes."
"A priority? Even though he had his head up his ass with his politics because he wanted to be president and barely even knew his own brother existed, except to lie about him to better his campaign?" Randy heard the bitterness dripping off her words and she shot Peter a guilty look, clamping her mouth shut just before she had to follow it up with inserting her foot in there. She had always had foot-in-mouth syndrome, but had always been one to speak her mind when it came to threats - even emotional - on people she loved. "I'm sorry. I don't know him, so that was out of line. I'm just taking a leaping guess that the mom took them away from him for a reason, but I won't pry. He just doesn't seem to have a squeaky clean track record, and I've seen what a mom will do to protect their kids if they think they are in any danger. A-All that stuff you told me? If we ever have a kid, they won't be... in danger, will they?"
"Well, the politics, then his kids, then his wife, then probably me. And Mom somewhere next to his politics. I can't helping shaking this feeling that Mom had something to do with Heidi leaving Nathan. I mean, Heidi... she used to be in a wheelchair. Nathan could have dumped his disabled wife if he'd really wanted to, but he didn't. He stuck by her. Of course he also fucked around on her, but he's a politician. It's what they do." Peter frowned as he sucked on his lip. "My brother's really not all that great, is he? I just... I always loved him. It's okay, I don't mind you saying what's on your mind. God knows I probably should have said it any number of times over the years. Heidi didn't seem like she'd leave him after he got hurt... after I hurt him, but then she was just gone." Peter blinked himself back from the memories, and cupped Randy's cheek as he held her gaze. "I will kill anyone that tries to hurt you, or our kids if we have any. I'm not letting anyone come after them, so no, no danger."
Randy was watching him, that tiny frown still formed on her features. "How chivalrous of him to stick by her and dip his cock in another chick. You make excuses for him. I don't think fucking around on your wife and mother of your kid is anywhere on a politician's job description. But I get it, he's your big brother. He's just making Matty look a Saint right now. If he did half of the things your brother did, I would staple his penis to his motorcycle and drive him from here to Alaska and back... naked. Him, not me. And that would just be the start. You need to stop with the self blame about hurting him, too. Don't you think he hurt you enough in return to even the scales out there? It's not like you killed him. Or is it like you intended to hurt him. Do you still blame me for hitting you with the car?" she asked, watching him intently. She couldn't help but rub her hand over her flat stomach. Everything with Mel had left her so confused and she knew there was some sort of twin mojo at play here. Maybe it was just sibling rivalry? Not that she or Mel had ever had that towards each other in the past. It had never been an issue. "I don't know... I think I'm just getting swept up in Mel's stuff by default. I've never thought about kids before. It just sort of suddenly hit me like a big stick to the face or something."
Peter let out a slow breath, and nodded in agreement before he rest his head back down against her shoulder and took comfort from her being there. She was right. She was voicing everything he'd been thinking over the years, but had never let himself admit to. Not to mention those times Nathan had doubted him, or ignored him. It wasn't that Peter hated his brother, he didn't. He couldn't. He had just managed to knock Nathan off the pedestal so that he could live his own life, and not try and live his brother's. "No, of course I don't still blame you for that. It wasn't intentional. I had never wanted Nathan to be there with me. I guess maybe I feel a little guilty because I'm not sure I could have survived without him. How fucked up is that? I might not have even got out of New York in time. I could have destroyed a whole city, not just my brother's face." Peter placed his hand back on her stomach, rubbing his thumb against the smooth skin. "I want one," he murmured, the realisation hitting him just like a big stick to the face. "I want ours."
"Isn't that what family are really supposed to be for? To protect you, through the good, bad and ugly? You surviving because of him doesn't make him a Saint, it makes him your brother. At least he stepped up when it mattered, even if he didn't step up for you much at all any other time. He's a politician, he's not out saving lives, like you. He's not finding cures for diseases, or protecting endangered species. He's not sheltering abused children, or funding rescue missions for war. Is he? He just likes the fucking sound of his own voice and looking pretty in suits. Peter, you're better than him. You've always been better than him. You want to make a difference how it counts. Not how many people can get their cheque books out for your campaign at a cute little speech about having a fucked up brother..." Randy stopped and let out a heavy breath. She hoped she never met Peter's brother. If she did, he would be getting a free up-close view of his own colon and anus. She turned back at him, uncertainty written all over her face. "What about everything we've worked for? I want to be a psychologist. I want to help people, just like you have. I want to make a difference too."
Peter kissed her neck, and his hand slid lower as he gave her hip an affectionate rub, and trailed his fingers over her thigh. It probably wasn't supposed to turn him on hearing her berate his brother, but it did. No other woman had understood. No other woman had really wanted to. They took pity on him, or ignored his life in favour of... Well, he didn't even know what it had been in favour of. Loving the poor, misunderstood Petrelli brother without first finding out why he'd been misunderstood. "I really do love you, you know. And I want to thank you for... being you." He shifted back up so his head was on the pillow and he could hold her gaze easily. "I don't see why having a kid would need to change that. I love being a nurse, but it's not like I couldn't cut back the hours if you wanted to be the one to focus on your work. I've never had a reason not to work. I think having a kid would make me stop - at least for a little while - for the right reasons. We'd be in it together. We'd work out a way for us to get what we want."
"You don't have to thank me. You just need to know I love you and you're never going to play second to anyone around here. In fact, I want you to play equal all around. I want you to be part of our family, to be mates with Nathan because I think he's going to need one. And just... be you, without thinking you should be anyone else. You is better than you'll ever see," Randy murmured and she was wetting her lips before moving on to bite on her lip like she always did when she was swirling things over in her head to try and make sense of them. Like when Mel had told her she was pregnant, she did keep her cool as much as she could, but once Mel was safely back with Nathan to try and deal with it all, Randy had exploded in a fit of random thoughts, trying to figure out exactly how she felt that her twin was having a baby. It made for many hours or staring into space, making her feel everything from weird to bursting proud to the thought of being an aunty. But she wasn't in the hot seat then, and now here she was seriously contemplating the thought of doing so. With Peter. "I just... um... I think I need some time to get used to the idea. Like, if we just dove in and did this, I can guarantee I'll freak out about it and it will be a big mess. I can deal with other peoples brains, no hassle, but when it comes to mine, it's like shoving it into a blender without the lid."
Peter pulled her into a kiss, using actions instead of words to make her understand just how grateful he was to her for wanting him to be equal and part of her family. "I want to be friends with Nathan, too," he said eventually. "I like him, he's a good guy. And he knows what it's like to be in love with a Murray twin. We have plenty to bond over. You deserve to first too, you know. You're amazing." He kept his gaze on her as he watched her bite her lip, figuring she was turning things over in her mind and that was okay. "I don't want you to freak out, or anything. I get that you have a blender brain. Mel has the washing machine, and you got the blender. I still don't really know what I got. We'll stick with condoms, and birth control, and the baby thing goes on the back burner."
Randy curled into the embrace again, for some reason, feeling a wave of vulnerability washing over her and she was happy to be shielded from it by Peter's arms. It wasn't a familiar feeling for her, she was usually the confident one and took things in her stride. She wrote it off as just tapping into Mel's hormonal mojo again. She promised her twin she would be there every step of the way for the pregnancy, this really just wasn't what she meant when she said it. "Condoms and birth control. I can do that. And I promise I will think about it. I'm not just saying that to fob it off, because I'm not sure I can just fob it off. It's weird. It's like... it's just consuming me. I thought it was just sibling rivalry, but Mel and me, we've never had that. Ever. I'm not jealous of her. I just want to feel what she's feeling. I think maybe I already am." She moaned a little. "I told you the twin thing was mental."
"It's still cute, and amazing, and something that definitely makes my head spin but I wouldn't have you without it." Peter rolled onto his back as he pulled Randy on top of him, and wrapped his arm around her waist as he used his other hand to brush her hair back from her face. "God, you're beautiful. I'll let you think about it in that blender brain of yours for as long as you need to take, okay? No pressure. Mostly because I need to think about it, too. I really hadn't been expecting the kid talk, but I'm glad we had it."
Randy buried her face in against his shoulder and sighed. "I'm sorry I just dumped it on you like that. I didn't mean to. I actually wasn't going to say anything at all, but I really was starting to go nuts with it. I thought it was just a phase. I've had phases before. I was impressed, though, with the condom thing. You didn't even make a mess, even if I was launching something like that at you. Maybe now I've got it out there, I'll get over it. I don't even think I should tell Mel, because I don't want to freak her out. She was all happy in a good mood because she got her first real, meaningful Valentine's Day present, and she deserves it. She's starting to get used to the pregnant thing too. She doesn't need me going crazy twin on her."
"You're not that crazy of a twin," Peter told her with a smile before he chuckled. "And I'm glad you told me. I'm also kinda impressed I really did take it in my stride. Truth is I've dealt with much, much worse things than you telling me you want a baby. I still think you'd be a sexy pregnant chick and I'm not just saying that. Idea of you with a baby bump is kind of turning me on. Feel free to hate me. I'm not sure it is something you should keep from your sister. Won't she pick up on blender vibes?" Then Peter seemed to pale a little. "Oh, shit... Valentine's."
Randy shook her head. "No, no. Don't worry about it. You've been really busy, we both have. I completely understand. Things have just been all over the place. I'm not one of those chicks who gets homocidal about Valentine's Day. We can go out to dinner or something when you've had some rest." She looked at him uncertainly. "Really? You don't think it'll be all weird and awkward?" she asked, still trying to figure out how it would feel to have a beach ball strapped to her front.
Peter smirked lightly. "I can do dinner. Just give me tomorrow. I might be human by dinnertime. I'll find somewhere nice. Somewhere that isn't just a burger joint. Might even have metal cutlery." He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, of course it'll be weird and awkward, but it'll be... intense. At least if you don't get turned off by sex. Some chicks just don't want to be touched for the duration of the pregnancy."
Randy's mouth dropped open a little. "No!" she gasped and lifted her head to see if he was joking. "Are you serious? Not at all? What's the fun in that? No... I don't want no sex. I don't think I could handle it. You've got to have some fun amongst all the expanding boobs and throwing up and sore butts and wanting to eat weird things and... how is it that the guy isn't the one that gets turned off?" she asked in realisation. "Pregnancy doesn't even sound sexy."
Peter managed to keep his face straight before he started to grin. "Deadly serious, babe. But I just said some. I'm hoping you live up to your name and don't cut me off. I don't know why guys don't get turned off, but mostly I think it's because we're just so deeply in love with our girls, and proud our sperm did something useful. Ask Nathan? It's not sexy, but it's natural."
Randy was starting to look slightly horrified. "I don't think I want to deal with any of those pregnant things. They sound awful. Feeling sick all the time and peeing all the time and hemorrhoids and not being able to lie on my stomach and sore boobs." She was biting on her lip again. "There is no way you will want to even touch me with any of that. What if I start doing inelegant things like farting when I bend over or throwing up when I smell your cologne?"
"Having a baby really isn't all clean and glamorous," Peter conceded. "But I'll still want to touch you. I'll always want to touch you. I won't stand behind you when you bend over, and I'll stop wearing cologne. It's not going to bother me. Promise."
Randy rested her head back down onto the pillow, falling into silence again. She knew she had commiserated to Mel that day in the supermarket when she had first started seeing Peter that she was embarrassed about the everyday things like using the bathroom at his place. She wasn't mental about it, but she had always been one of those girls who got along with guys like a house on fire, but when it came to personal stuff like that, she rarely let them close enough to experience that with her. She was always the perfect girlfriend who never let the guy have a chance to even think about her in those positions. But with Peter, it was different. It was getting serious. Baby talk was really serious. More than serious. It was going to be a whole new learning curve for her to allow herself to let her guard down with him, especially if she got pregnant. He would be there through all those inelegant things with her, and it was scaring her a little. "I-I'll think about it," she murmured, realising she was a little envious of Mel right now who had faced all this full on like a bull at a gate with Nathan, and they got through it just fine.
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