from myself, to myself.
I don't fucking care who you say you are,
I don't care who you think you'd like to be and I don't care who are you've become.
The box you get locked in for the weekend leaves you thinking about how much more there used to be,
while you're only really allowed to live the life you really want for 4-6 hours a week.
Life isn't supposed to be fun, there is nothing written that says you should think that.
You can make your money, you can drink by yourself, you can plan the future as much as you want but you'll never be as happy as you were when you didn't have to settle, you didn't have to bargain and when you didn't have to worry about spending an extra $2 to get yourself full.
You are the reason you wake up every morning, you are the reason you go to sleep every night.
Remember how great it was when you didn't go to sleep? only so you wouldn't have to wake up?
It's a shame no one misses you because you obviously aren't what you were. You don't have that sidekick you always did, you don't have that extra push you needed to really be out of your shell. You see your best friends a couple times a week and the only link you have to when you were happy is stuck in the same shitty situation you were in a year and a half ago.
You didn't notice when you had her locked up that you locked yourself up, too. You broke her heart for a week or two to revisit the past and as great as it seemed, you figured she was better. It was an awful coincidence that she would eventually become who you were 2 years before you met her. Thats what you got for making the right decision. You can't stay mad at her for that and you should've never been mad at yourself for it. All you can do now is try to help her, try to make it feel like there is any reason to communicate because you know very well that you both still think about how it was and MAYBE how it should be again. You both only do that because you're both a wreck and as much as you may think it doesn't sound great to just settle and be content, you have to grab that while you can. It takes a lot to be happy, so why'd you take a chance and throw that away?
You need to stop dreaming of what its going to be like a year or two from now in your average apartment with your collection of beer. You need to stop dreaming of being a famous wreck who wrote a solid script because he based he life of cocaine. You need to either stop thinking about it or you have to start doing it. You are your future and you control your plans.
You can't keep thinking of every girl you meet as someone who as ever thought of spending time with you, some people aren't like you, some people are just friendly. You can't keep waiting for the people you want - the people you need to see you this way.
You need to show everyone how things really are, how you really think, how you really feel.
You aren't awful, you aren't hateful and you aren't an asshole.
You just have no motivation and you have no solid ground to start building on.
You should take those vacations, you should take those drugs, you should love everyone who lets you and you should live while you have the option.
In a few years, in your decent apartment with your collection of beer, you'll understand why did you the things you did.
You'll understand why she took you back, why she won't speak you, why she moved out of state, why she won't reply and maybe some of the realizations will make you feel like you did the right thing. You haven't fucked everyone over, have you?
take some notes. I miss you, man. We used to have so much fun.
I don't care who you think you'd like to be and I don't care who are you've become.
The box you get locked in for the weekend leaves you thinking about how much more there used to be,
while you're only really allowed to live the life you really want for 4-6 hours a week.
Life isn't supposed to be fun, there is nothing written that says you should think that.
You can make your money, you can drink by yourself, you can plan the future as much as you want but you'll never be as happy as you were when you didn't have to settle, you didn't have to bargain and when you didn't have to worry about spending an extra $2 to get yourself full.
You are the reason you wake up every morning, you are the reason you go to sleep every night.
Remember how great it was when you didn't go to sleep? only so you wouldn't have to wake up?
It's a shame no one misses you because you obviously aren't what you were. You don't have that sidekick you always did, you don't have that extra push you needed to really be out of your shell. You see your best friends a couple times a week and the only link you have to when you were happy is stuck in the same shitty situation you were in a year and a half ago.
You didn't notice when you had her locked up that you locked yourself up, too. You broke her heart for a week or two to revisit the past and as great as it seemed, you figured she was better. It was an awful coincidence that she would eventually become who you were 2 years before you met her. Thats what you got for making the right decision. You can't stay mad at her for that and you should've never been mad at yourself for it. All you can do now is try to help her, try to make it feel like there is any reason to communicate because you know very well that you both still think about how it was and MAYBE how it should be again. You both only do that because you're both a wreck and as much as you may think it doesn't sound great to just settle and be content, you have to grab that while you can. It takes a lot to be happy, so why'd you take a chance and throw that away?
You need to stop dreaming of what its going to be like a year or two from now in your average apartment with your collection of beer. You need to stop dreaming of being a famous wreck who wrote a solid script because he based he life of cocaine. You need to either stop thinking about it or you have to start doing it. You are your future and you control your plans.
You can't keep thinking of every girl you meet as someone who as ever thought of spending time with you, some people aren't like you, some people are just friendly. You can't keep waiting for the people you want - the people you need to see you this way.
You need to show everyone how things really are, how you really think, how you really feel.
You aren't awful, you aren't hateful and you aren't an asshole.
You just have no motivation and you have no solid ground to start building on.
You should take those vacations, you should take those drugs, you should love everyone who lets you and you should live while you have the option.
In a few years, in your decent apartment with your collection of beer, you'll understand why did you the things you did.
You'll understand why she took you back, why she won't speak you, why she moved out of state, why she won't reply and maybe some of the realizations will make you feel like you did the right thing. You haven't fucked everyone over, have you?
take some notes. I miss you, man. We used to have so much fun.