Blessed and yet Cursed

Jul 10, 2019 10:51

I am going to preface this post with: I am grateful for everything I have, every breath I take, every day is a gift, and I am truly thankful for my life, and everything in it.

Having said this; there are times that I get completely frustrated with my friends. It just seems like they are taking everything for granted, as if life is a cheap toy that they can play rough with and if it breaks, they'll go get a new one. I shall explain.

One of my best friends was able to undergo bariatric surgery, it is the same surgery I was trying for, however I lost too much weight and was removed from the candidate list. Plus we moved to another state and I would have had to start all over again. So he did it, he got the gastric sleeve. I was so proud of his bravery, he had never had surgery, there were issues with him being able to keep things down so he was in the hospital longer than average, however he is home now. So, he called me two weeks saying he sent his wife to KFC to get him mashed potatoes and gravy. He was still on a liquid diet, I of course chastised him, saying I didn't want him to hurt himself and derail all the progress he had made. He had told me he got sick off of it. Well; no shit Sherlock, dumbass. I told him to stop listening to the idiots online, and to follow his Doctor's instructions because everyone's situation is different!

Last night he called me, and was talking about fast food again, and I told him that he cannot have it, he told me that he can have anything he wants blended. Not only that but he figured out why he had been getting so sick. He said he had been eating too much. I asked how much he said a whole yogurt and I shook my head, rolled my eyes and sighed, then he said 2 eggs at a time but he was getting sick off of both. He then told me that he figured out he wasn't supposed to have that much. I said I KNOW that, we talked about that, I TOLD you that you were over eating and you told me what you were doing was fine for YOUR plan, and basically to mind my business. He then apologized. I said:
"Didn't you get your damn instructions when you left the Hospital?"

He told me he did and that he had FINALLY read them. FOUR tablespoons of yogurt and ONE egg, that's it no more. That is when the fast food talk started I said: "stop it" that he was going to ruin everything he was working for and go right back to where he started. He started to argue and I shut him up saying I don't want to hear about fast food, it's garbage, he knows this, and that is the end of it.

So here is WHY I am so angry:

I was born and was adopted it was in the 70's and Catholic, so it was very private. I have no information save for my nationality, and my former last name. I have a laundry list of health issues that are serious, and bothersome. Starting with I was born without a Thyroid. As many know, this regulates the Metabolism, and about 7 other things. I am also Hypoglycemic, I have Four times the Insulin one should have, this makes me crave sugar, and makes me sick if I do not eat, which, I cannot Metabolize. I am Anemic, and have had multiple abdominal surgeries starting from about age 8. Due to the surgeries I am now currently totally Disabled, I don't have the Core Muscle support because of scar tissue and I live in constant pain.

So in 2012 I almost died, I had surgery it went bad, blah blah 40 days in hospital, 3-4 in a coma to heal and drain my lungs of fluid, and get Sepsis under control, so on and so forth. After all was said and done I was 298 Pounds. I am 5'3" tall so I was round. That is when I wanted the surgery. I have great health Ins so I did all the steps and lost over 100 pounds, they had found out that I had no Thyroid at that point and got my meds right. I was told I could not do the surgery because I was no longer able to lose over 100 pounds. Here I am now, still over weight but not enough to qualify me, so when I hear about people screwing around after this life changing surgery, it makes me furious, it is a damned gift! To be able to HAVE that help available to you!! I cannot have the band, I cannot have a sleeve or bypass, its so defeating, yet here I am supporting my bestie and he is talking about fucking Taco Bell... So Frustrated....So Sad.... This is the third person I have seen through all of this and two of them have destroyed their progress and reverted back. One of them did it TWICE!! This is why I am so upset, he knows it is a complete lifestyle change, we talked about it, he needs counseling, but won't go. Just makes me mad...

#yeaiknowalready, #icanso, #denial

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