It's A Small World After All - Part Three
Hi everyone! Welcome to Part Three of It's A Small World, a 'you suck at parenting' challenge. You should totally check that page out because I added a new challenge today. :D But back on topic - when we last saw France, everything was going well. Despite growing up badly, the children were going to school and doing homework and not fighting. So to make thing interesting and topical, France brought a Christmas tree.
Now, I've had the holiday stuff pack for ages and never really played it. I read somewhere that if you put a tree in your house and bake Santa cookies, Santa will come and visit your sims and give them a present. Or, if the cookies are burned, coal. So, cookies have been baked, and the tree is up. Will he show up?
EEEEEE! IT'S SANTA!
Santa: Ho ho ho! Have you all been good boys and girls?
I HAVE I HAVE!
Santa: Liar.
Liechtenstein: Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh it's SANTA!
Santa: Girl, I'm trying to eat a cookie here, would you gimme a break?
Liechtenstein: I've been really good, honest, so can I have the My Little Ponies I asked for, that's all the mane cast except Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy because I already have them and I also want Princess Celestia and Princess Luna oh and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle but not those knock off ones in the newsagent that have cutie marks and Scootaloo doesn't even have her wings-
Santa: I will give you an entire stable of ponies if you go away and let me cannibalise this cookie in peace.
Santa: Ho ho ho! Have you been a good little boy?
Canada: I've been so good I made myself a charred muffin so you could have all the cookies.
Santa: Ho ho ho! And, er, who are you?
Canada: :'(
The tree sucked up all the money, so while Santa wandered the house and laughed at the children and clogged the toilet, I sent France outside to dig for stuff. And he doesn't do too badly!
WOW A ROCK. THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.
France: I get a rock and Seychelles gets a remote control car?
That's because you've been a very very bad boy.
France: You all love it really.
I am concerned that all the objects France digs up look like sex toys. :/
For a change, he finally finds something non-phalic or rocky.
Twice.
Belgium: Ugh, cooking is so difficult.
The next day, Christmas is over and everyone goes to school of their own accord. Yay!
What would Superman do? Why... I don't actually know because I'm know next to nothing about Superman except kryptonite is bad and he has a dog. But anyway, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't go running to the teacher when he could be doing something about it!
America: That's right, I'm the insect hero.
So as you can see, while the children were out, France invited NyoCanada over. He gets nowhere, but they're friends. And the kid's grades are improving. And Belgium continues to kick ass.
TEACHERS PET.
Canada: Ugh, I failed bio. Turns out polar bears don't actually have sex in photobooths.
Seychelles: Well now I'm not sure if homework help would've actually helped. How'd you do, Belgium?
Belgium: Um... well, y'know, same old, same old.
Belgium: LOL I'm just messin' with you. I'M AWESOME AND BETTER THAN YOU!
Belgium: HEY LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME I GOT AN A+!
France: *gives no fucks*
The sandcastles now look less like saggy dicks, well done, America.
Oh.
Switzerland tried to show off in front of this random kid, but found all the booing too much of a distraction.
Switzerland: I need a cheerleader, nor a jeerleader. :(
England: Shut up, it's ~perfect~
Have some boring dinner time bonding.
At first I thought France was crying because I dunno, he hasn't had sex at all since this challenge began, but nope. Turns out the painting he did sold for nothing. That's right, NOTHING.
France: I put my blood, sweat and tears into that painting!
Maybe that's why no-one wanted to buy it? Just an idea.
I've only capped England for some reason, but every child had the want to get an A+, so I locked it. If they actually achieve it, I want them to be happy about it!
France: Homework time!
Seychelles: Must you be naked for this?
France: Of course! It makes sure you keep your eyes on your book.
France: ...And the full subshell of the noble gases explains why it's very difficult to get them to react with anything.
Seychelles: You're not going to teach me about sex?
France: When you're older.
France: And so the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.
Liechtenstein: What happened to all the biology jokes?
France: Oh, SimGod is avoiding them because she failed her biology exam.
Shut up, France.
France: Should've got me to teach you! :D
Yes, and then I could've failed so badly I missed the minimum grade to resit, instead of just plain failing.
And England stumbles across fanfic.
England: I DID WHAT WITH FRANCE? AND AMERICA? AND MARMITE?!?
Seychelles: Can't sleep... too much whining.
That evening, NyoChina just barges in and makes herself at home. I don't think France has even spoken to her, ever.
And the children play nicely together.
Then Liechtenstein and Canada sneak upstairs to peep at the girly pictures on France's wall.
Canada: Can we go? I don't like how that poster's staring at me.
Liechtenstein: Not yet, I want a closer look at this one.
Canada: I think he wants to eat my soul.
France: Oh hey... whatever your name is. Have you done your homework yet?
Canada: You taught me before, remember? Mrs Crumplebottom and the llamas?
France: Mmm nope, not ringing any bells.
It wasn't ringing any bells in either of their memories, so that's why you're having this moment of deja-vu.
France: So, when a man and a woman love each other, or just really like the look of each other, they head for the nearest photobooth and blah blah woohoo blah blah Mrs Crumplebottom blah blah llamas...
Canada: But that's exactly the same thing you told me last time... I hate llamas.
Seems like Liechtenstein didn't actually finish learning her homework last time, so France has to teach her again.
But check it out! That's six out of seven children he's taught! Nice going, France!
And here's a festive treat for you - naked happy France likes the snow.
France has some spare time, so I decide to try getting him a love interest or ten. Belarus isn't interested.
So I send him fishing instead,
NyoBelgium: Oooooooh, he's so dreamy! How can I get him to notice me?
Belgium: Don't mind me, I'm just fishing.
But the subtle approach fails as a random townie goes and parks herself right between them.
Random Townie: So, you guys are like, the world?
So Belgium moves onto a more direct approach.
Belgium: So call me and tell me how much you like it. Maybe we could talk over dinner or something?
WOW, thanks Belgium! You can totally have a date with France!
But not yet, because he still has fish to catch.
I said fish.
France: It's a start!
Can't you start like her?
Random Townie: Look what I caught! This is the first time I've ever been fishing too, tee hee!
Oh-kay, waving a big pole in the air is looking a little dangerous right now.
Townie: Oh look, another fish!
France: ...I hooked myself.
EVERYONE IS BETTER THAN FRANCE.
France: I caught someth-oh.
BOO YOU SUCK.
But the trip isn't a complete bust. Fishing is wonderfully social, you can click on anyone passing and ask them to join you and you all hang out and chat and discover you've got three bolts with NyoPrussia.
Back home, America earns the family some much needed cash.
And Belgium has competition as Student Of The Week. Look at that bunch of overachievers!
Apart from England.
England: Oh, wanna bet?
England: Tada!
Yup, the bus pulled up and his grades magically changed. How suspicious!
England: Hey, I only use my powers to reverse the signs of ageing.
OK, that's actually true. I'll blame it on weird game coding.
ALSO I was just rereading this, checking for typos and making sure Photobucket hadn't deleted naked France and I realised England has more cooking points than any of the other children. XD Hahahaha!
Seychelles: I. AM. AWESOME.
Liechtenstein: Look at my fantastic grades and tell me how great I am!
France: Hurray, you're great!
Seychelles: Me too, me too!
France: Hurray, you're great too!
England: Have I mentioned my magical super stunning grades? Because here they are and they are fantastic and so am I.
France: Woo! Yay! *cough* Hurrah!
America: Look at my awesome hero grades! I got them for being more awesome than you!
France: Marvellous! Fabulous! *cough*hack* S'cuse me, got a bit of a tickle in my throat there.
Switzerland: Guess who's got an A+? I've got an A+
France: *ahem* Yay fab brilliant water!
Switzerland: Could you at least fake some enthusiasm?
France: I did enthusiasm four times already! My throat is killing me!
As a reward for that $200 America won, France makes burgers for dinner.
And the teen years are almost upon us! Doesn't the time fly when absolutely bloody nothing interesting happens for me to cap?
So here, have a picture of the Eleventh Doctor in The Sarah Jane Adventures to finish things up. Until next time!
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